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Thrown Into a Pit of Fire

I can count on one hand the amount of times I have felt betrayed by a publisher or developer. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, I see red. After all, I gave them my money, I supported them, and then they turn around and blindside me. I haven't felt betrayed since Sony lied on the front of the Vita's box about the free copy of Super Stardust Delta you would receive when you purchase the Vita, only to hide the fact that you actually need to sign up for 3G service first, spend $15, wait a month, and then receive your "free' game.

 

I went over a year without feeling betrayed, until Aliens: Colonial Marines dropped on to store shelves. Me, being the Aliens fan that I am, took Randy Pitchford at his word. When he showed us demos of the game looking gorgeous and fun, I believed him. When Gearbox released gorgeous photos of the game showing all types of awesome Alien kickassery, I believed him. When he raved about his studios game, and how true it was to the Alien universe, I believed him. I was a fool.

 

The game they actually released plays like Duke Nukem Forever in space. Which is sort of odd, since Duke Nukem Forever had an expansion that took place in space, and was astonishingly better than the dud Gearbox expects us to buy today. Aliens: Colonial Marines, is the epitome of a train wreck. From the second you put the game in your console or boot it up on your PC, you'll wonder why it looks like a 7 year old game. You'll question the audio designers decisions, and then question whether or not there actually was an audio designer, judging by the terrible sound effects, mixing, and everything in-between.

 

You'll question your sanity as you desperately try and shoot aliens who can move much faster than you can aim, and whom blend into the environments so well that trying to pick them out of the blacks and grays that dominate the game is almost impossible much of the time. You'll marvel at the last gen animations, the last gen lighting, and the last gen voice acting. You'll feel nothing as you pull the trigger and fire your pea shooter, and wonder how they managed to create the most underwhelming guns ever to grace a FPS. 

 

For the entire 4 hours the game lasts, you'll never stop wondering and questioning everything you see and do in Colonial Marines. You won't be able to help it, just like I wasn't able to. You won't believe what you are seeing. For a game that took over half a decade to produce, the sheer lack in quality that encompasses every facet of this game is absolutely astonishing. It is like it was designed by a rookie team of college grads whose only experience with 3D games was playing a demo of Perfect Dark Zero.

 

Being disappointed is one thing. Being underwhelmed is another. Being lied to and sold a bill of goods is another. Aliens: Colonial Marines is one big fat lie. Nothing Gearbox has told you about this game is true. Nothing they have shown you is true. None of the pictures you have seen are true. Not even the videos. This is a last gen train wreck disguised as a modern video game, and it's a bad disguise at that. Gearbox should be ashamed of themselves, and Mr. Pitchford should apologize to fans. He shouldn't wait until he's sure everyone who was going to buy the game already has, he should do it now, right now. 

 

We deserve and apology for being manipulated and lied to. And if his studio wants gamers to ever take them seriously again, he needs to do it ASAP. Mr. Pitchford, we are waiting...

Comments
  • I played the demo for Duke Nukem, well I should say the first 5 mins, because I  didn't even finish it becasue it was so horrid. To say that this is Duke Nukem is space is ridiculous. Aliens CM may have missed the mark in a few areas, but in no way should you compare it to Duke Nukem.

  • I wanted to buy this game because I am an Aliens fan but have decided not to because of all the negative reviews.

  • I agree completely with the notion that we should take Randy Pitchford's cheerleading with a grain of salt (or perhaps the whole frakkin' shaker).   As I stated in my own review of A:CM (which, was a bit more forgiving of the game itself..LOL), one of the life lessons I've learned is "When Randy Pitchford says he's excited about an upcoming game from Gearbox, caveat emptor (buyer beware)."  It seems the only time we can take that seriously is when Gearbox is focusing on Borderlands.  Otherwise, it seems like every other title can just go to hell as far as they're concerned.