I know this will surprise nobody, but clowns are scary. Ever since Pennywise burst onto the scene, everybody who wants to have something sinister in their game has put in clowns. These ten creeps are the scariest of all, and I am ranking them based on how freaky they are. You know my rule, so turn on the lights and lock your closet door, the clowns are coming.


10-Killer Clown (Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin)

What a subtle name. Killer Clown. Don’t you want him to come to your kid’s birthday party? But in all seriousness, that would be bad. These things toss razor cards at you while yelling “Let’s play!” I’m sorry Mr. Killer Clown, I don’t think I want to play with you. I would rather whip you into oblivion and eat your soul.


9-Agent 47 (Hitman Blood Money)

In the fantastic Hitman Blood Money, there is an excellent mission called A New Life. In it, you must infiltrate the birthday party of a mob boss and kill him and his wife. There are many ways to do this, but my favorite is killing the clown and walking in dressed as him. So do you know what Agent 47 the clown does? He kills the two people while still having that goofy smile on his face. Never trust a clown that is carrying a syringe in his hand.


8-Big Johnny (CarnEvil)

Anybody who’s afraid of clowns shouldn’t touch CarnEvil. It is a lightgun arcade game where you and a friend get trapped inside of an evil circus and need to fight your way out. One of the most memorable enemies are tiny clowns that toss knives at you like it is some sort of screwed up juggler.


7-Blood Moon Clowns (Terraria)

Terraria is one of my all-time favorite games, but I didn’t learn about the Blood Moon Clowns until reading the wiki a few days ago to remember the name of another monster I don’t want to spoil. I came across this little guy, and it turns out that he is a rare spawn that appears only on Blood Moons, (rare events) and it has to be on Hardmode. These clowns roll around on circus balls while tossing wallmart face bombs your way like a Minecraft creeper on steroids. He will destroy your beautiful house, and he will also killing you in the process.


6-Zombie Clowns (Left 4 Dead 2)

What’s scarier than a zombie? A zombie clown, that’s what. The zombie clowns only appear on Dark Carnival, but they have a terrifying side effect. Whenever they charge at you, their shoes squeak. This would be fine if the squeak of their shoes didn’t attract more zombies. If one clown is charging you, it is guaranteed that a horde is not far behind. But the best thing about these clowns is that if you knock them back, their noses honk.


5-Cicero (The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim)

When you first find Cicero outside of Whiterun, he is talking about how he wants to move the coffin of his mother. But if you have any common sense, you won’t help him. But if you join the Dark Brotherhood, you find him there anyways. While you are out on a contract, Cicero betrays the brotherhood and escapes to the old Dawnstar sanctuary. If you track him down there, you can finally kill him. Or spare him, in which he joins your adventures and stalks you everywhere. Yeah, I will take the former.


4-Adam (Dead Rising)

Adam was a clown who was preforming at Willamette Mall, but when all hell broke loose he grabbed two chainsaws and guarded the Space Rider roller coaster. See, as long as the coaster is operational the zombies won’t attack him. But Frank is determined to turn off the ride, so he must face Adam. This clown fights with his chainsaws, but when he dies he fell onto his chainsaws and ripped his guts apart with his own weapons. If that isn’t scary, I don’t know what is.


3-Dimentio (Super Paper Mario)

Dimentio is a clown who worked under Count Bleck until the Void started to rip apart the world. He then betrayed his boss and caused the apocalypse all by himself. Yes, this is a clown who destroyed the world for his enjoyment. He has no motivation and no remorse, he just wants to watch the universe collapse in on itself.


2-Kefka Palazo (Final Fantasy VI)

I know I have already covered Kefka on the Top 10 Most Insane characters and Top 10 Gods lists, but I couldn’t make a list about clowns without this guy. He is the obvious inspiration for Dimentio, but he goes above and beyond Dimentio’s feats. Kefka not only destroys the world, he becomes the god of magic and eats a guy whole. But here’s the real kicker, after eating his victim he starts laughing.


1-Sweet Tooth (Twisted Metal)

We have looked at insane clowns, murderous clowns, happy clowns, and bloody clowns so far. But this guy combines all of them and turns into a one man army of fear. Sweet Tooth rides around in his tricked out ice cream truck, killing mimes, fat kids, painters, and other pedestrians. He also blows up precious monuments and tons of houses with his missiles while trying to blow away the competition. Literally.



P.S. I didn’t “forget” the Joker.