The lights are on
Veteran Member - Level 13
I know this will surprise nobody, but clowns are scary. Ever
since Pennywise burst onto the scene, everybody who wants to have something
sinister in their game has put in clowns. These ten creeps are the scariest of
all, and I am ranking them based on how freaky they are. You know my rule, so
turn on the lights and lock your closet door, the clowns are coming.
10-Killer Clown (Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin)
What a subtle name. Killer Clown. Don’t you want him to come
to your kid’s birthday party? But in all seriousness, that would be bad. These
things toss razor cards at you while yelling “Let’s play!” I’m sorry Mr. Killer
Clown, I don’t think I want to play with you. I would rather whip you into
oblivion and eat your soul.
9-Agent 47 (Hitman Blood Money)
In the fantastic Hitman Blood Money, there is an excellent
mission called A New Life. In it, you must infiltrate the birthday party of a mob
boss and kill him and his wife. There are many ways to do this, but my favorite
is killing the clown and walking in dressed as him. So do you know what Agent
47 the clown does? He kills the two people while still having that goofy smile
on his face. Never trust a clown that is carrying a syringe in his hand.
8-Big Johnny (CarnEvil)
Anybody who’s afraid of clowns shouldn’t touch CarnEvil. It
is a lightgun arcade game where you and a friend get trapped inside of an evil
circus and need to fight your way out. One of the most memorable enemies are
tiny clowns that toss knives at you like it is some sort of screwed up juggler.
7-Blood Moon Clowns (Terraria)
Terraria is one of my all-time favorite games, but I didn’t
learn about the Blood Moon Clowns until reading the wiki a few days ago to
remember the name of another monster I don’t want to spoil. I came across this
little guy, and it turns out that he is a rare spawn that appears only on Blood
Moons, (rare events) and it has to be on Hardmode. These clowns roll around on
circus balls while tossing wallmart face bombs your way like a Minecraft
creeper on steroids. He will destroy your beautiful house, and he will also
killing you in the process.
6-Zombie Clowns (Left 4 Dead 2)
What’s scarier than a zombie? A zombie clown, that’s what.
The zombie clowns only appear on Dark Carnival, but they have a terrifying side
effect. Whenever they charge at you, their shoes squeak. This would be fine if
the squeak of their shoes didn’t attract more zombies. If one clown is charging
you, it is guaranteed that a horde is not far behind. But the best thing about
these clowns is that if you knock them back, their noses honk.
5-Cicero (The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim)
When you first find Cicero outside of Whiterun, he is
talking about how he wants to move the coffin of his mother. But if you have
any common sense, you won’t help him. But if you join the Dark Brotherhood, you
find him there anyways. While you are out on a contract, Cicero betrays the
brotherhood and escapes to the old Dawnstar sanctuary. If you track him down
there, you can finally kill him. Or spare him, in which he joins your
adventures and stalks you everywhere. Yeah, I will take the former.
4-Adam (Dead Rising)
Adam was a clown who was preforming at Willamette Mall, but
when all hell broke loose he grabbed two chainsaws and guarded the Space Rider
roller coaster. See, as long as the coaster is operational the zombies won’t
attack him. But Frank is determined to turn off the ride, so he must face Adam.
This clown fights with his chainsaws, but when he dies he fell onto his
chainsaws and ripped his guts apart with his own weapons. If that isn’t scary,
I don’t know what is.
3-Dimentio (Super Paper Mario)
Dimentio is a clown who worked under Count Bleck until the Void
started to rip apart the world. He then betrayed his boss and caused the
apocalypse all by himself. Yes, this is a clown who destroyed the world for his
enjoyment. He has no motivation and no remorse, he just wants to watch the
universe collapse in on itself.
2-Kefka Palazo (Final Fantasy VI)
I know I have already covered Kefka on the Top 10 Most
Insane characters and Top 10 Gods lists, but I couldn’t make a list about
clowns without this guy. He is the obvious inspiration for Dimentio, but he
goes above and beyond Dimentio’s feats. Kefka not only destroys the world, he
becomes the god of magic and eats a guy whole. But here’s the real kicker,
after eating his victim he starts laughing.
1-Sweet Tooth (Twisted Metal)
We have looked at insane clowns, murderous clowns, happy
clowns, and bloody clowns so far. But this guy combines all of them and turns
into a one man army of fear. Sweet Tooth rides around in his tricked out ice
cream truck, killing mimes, fat kids, painters, and other pedestrians. He also
blows up precious monuments and tons of houses with his missiles while trying
to blow away the competition. Literally.
P.S. I didn’t “forget” the Joker.