(This blog took much longer to write than I expected, sorry about the delay)

I need to let off some steam, and what better way to let off steam then review two movies I don't like? I know I may not seem like it, but I’m very passionate about movies, and this month hasn’t been a good month for them. I’ve watched a four movies this month, and I only consider one of them to be good. One other one was mediocre, and then I saw two that I can safely say are pretty bad. So if you don’t want to hear me be harsh about two crummy animated movies, I would recommend not reading this blog.


First, let me make this clear. These movies aren’t the worst that came out this month. I came into these movies believing that they could actually be good. There are other movies like R.I.P.D. and Grown Ups 2 that I don’t even want to touch with a ten-foot pole. So yes, there are much worse movies out there. And with that out of the way, let’s get started with the least terrible of these bad movies.



One word. Predictable. Every single twist in Monsters can be seen coming from a mile away. And that would be fine if the story didn’t rely on these twists, but they apparently thought that it would, because the characters have almost no effort put into them.


Sully is just “The Good Guy”. There really is no personality to speak of other than that. They try giving him depth with yet another twist, but it doesn’t add anything to his character and just feels like a desperate attempt to fix his character. It doesn’t work.


Mike is forgettable. He has his dreams and goals, but it’s the same motivation of literally every other character He wants to be a scarer, just like every other monster in the University. The only thing is that nobody gives him respect. Do you think he’ll earn the respect of his peers by the end of the movie? Take a wild guess.


The villains are weak. They’re just the average school bullies who aren’t nice to the main characters because they don’t fit their standards of what a monster should be. Sound familiar? Well it should, because that seems to be the plot of every single underdog story ever.


The only good character in the movie is the mother, who does have some actually funny scenes. But the rest of the comic relief characters in the movie just fall flat. The other side characters are very forgettable as well, with the only one I can remember is the Professor Snape style professor.


However, I must say that the visuals are superb. Each monster has a distinct design, and even if I forget their personalities, I can’t forget the designs. Even some of the smaller details, such as Sully’s fur, is very impressive to look at.


There is one part of this movie that is superb. There’s a four minute long short at the beginning, which is beautifully done. It can actually tell a good story and convey emotions without needing any dialogue or stupid plot twists. However, four fantastic minutes cannot salvage this movie.


5.75/10 – Not Recommended



You know, this movie set off red lights the second it was announced. As you know already, I adore the TV show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. While some of the episodes may have simple plots, it has some of the best developed and most three-dimensional characters I’ve ever seen. So why not make a movie that ruins these characters?


Equestria Girls has one of the most ridiculously stupid concepts I’ve ever seen. Twilight Sparkle, one of the show’s main characters, goes through a mirror into a new world. And that new world is earth, and Twilight becomes a human.


Think about that for a second.


This new world contains counterparts of every single character in the show, but for some reason instead of capable adults, they’re teenage highschool students. And the two princesses are the principal and vice principal. Do you see why this is a terrible idea?


But the concept is just the beginning. Every single counterpart feels like some cruel mockery of what makes the original characters so great. It’s like they took one thing from each character and decided that it’s the only thing that should be represented in the movie.


In the show, Applejack is a stubborn but hardworking farmer who usually plays the role of the level headed and most mature member of the group. In the movie, her only characterization is that she has an accent. I’m serious.


They take Rarity, a cunning and fast thinking clothing designer who’s more generous then you’d expect her to be, and just make it so that her only trait is that she likes fashion. Pinkie Pie is reduced from a borderline crazy jokester to somebody who just fills the general role of “comic relief” in the movie.


And of course, Rainbow Dash, one of the best developed characters in all of media, is just reduced to an arrogant jerkass as her only character trait. Of course, because apparently the concept of three dimensional characters scared all the writers away. Oh, and there’s Fluttershy too, who’s just as throwaway as she is in the show.


The only character who stays true to her normal characteristics is Twilight, but the show is built on these strong personalities interacting, not one strong personality playing off of blank slates. The new characters aren’t anything to write home about either.


There’s the boyfriend, who seems like he was added do to a last minute demand from Hasbro. He does nothing but stand around and just be “the cute guy”. He’s just a generally nice guy, with not a single standout flaw or character trait to write home about.


And then we get to the villain. Not only is her motivation completely terrible, but her ‘genius’ plan couldn’t even work. Spoilers, if you care. And of course you don’t. After Twilight wins the magical McGuffin, the villain threatens to smash the mirror with a hammer to stop her from ever coming back to her own dimension if she doesn’t hand of the McGuffin.


Now, there’s one big reason why this wouldn’t work. The magical McGuffin came from the other dimension, and it’s made of metal as well. So if a metal crown could go through the mirror, the hammer would just swing right through it to the other dimension.


And if that wasn’t pathetic enough, the only reason Twilight came into this dimension alone is that she doesn’t have another counterpart in our world. If her other friends came with her, the other dimension would be obliterated. This villain knows that, because she’s been through both dimensions multiple times. So her mind controlled army would just walk into the mirror and destroy the dimension she’s trying to conquer. Genius.


Of course, that seems like just a nitpick. But when the entire movie is based around stopping this evil plot, it’s inexcusable. And I know what you’re saying. It’s just a movie made to sell toys. Well, the show was a TV show made to sell toys, but it’s brilliant and has clever writing! It has good characters! It has a setup that actually requires some artistic creativity! This movie just feels like a slap in the face to all the loyal fans of the TV show, and is just a downright bad movie.



2.25/10-Do Not Watch. Seriously. Please.