The lights are on
Veteran Member - Level 13
(This blog took much longer to write than I expected, sorry
about the delay)
I need to let off some steam, and what better way to let off steam then review two movies I don't like? I know I may not seem like it, but I’m very passionate about
movies, and this month hasn’t been a good month for them. I’ve watched a four
movies this month, and I only consider one of them to be good. One other one
was mediocre, and then I saw two that I can safely say are pretty bad. So if
you don’t want to hear me be harsh about two crummy animated movies, I would recommend
not reading this blog.
First, let me make this clear. These movies aren’t the worst
that came out this month. I came into these movies believing that they could
actually be good. There are other movies like R.I.P.D. and Grown Ups 2 that I
don’t even want to touch with a ten-foot pole. So yes, there are much worse
movies out there. And with that out of the way, let’s get started with the
least terrible of these bad movies.
One word. Predictable. Every single twist in Monsters can be
seen coming from a mile away. And that would be fine if the story didn’t rely
on these twists, but they apparently thought that it would, because the
characters have almost no effort put into them.
Sully is just “The Good Guy”. There really is no personality
to speak of other than that. They try giving him depth with yet another twist,
but it doesn’t add anything to his character and just feels like a desperate
attempt to fix his character. It doesn’t work.
Mike is forgettable. He has his dreams and goals, but it’s
the same motivation of literally every other character He wants to be a scarer,
just like every other monster in the University. The only thing is that nobody
gives him respect. Do you think he’ll earn the respect of his peers by the end
of the movie? Take a wild guess.
The villains are weak. They’re just the average school bullies
who aren’t nice to the main characters because they don’t fit their standards
of what a monster should be. Sound familiar? Well it should, because that seems
to be the plot of every single underdog story ever.
The only good character in the movie is the mother, who does
have some actually funny scenes. But the rest of the comic relief characters in
the movie just fall flat. The other side characters are very forgettable as
well, with the only one I can remember is the Professor Snape style professor.
However, I must say that the visuals are superb. Each
monster has a distinct design, and even if I forget their personalities, I can’t
forget the designs. Even some of the smaller details, such as Sully’s fur, is
very impressive to look at.
There is one part of this movie that is superb. There’s a
four minute long short at the beginning, which is beautifully done. It can
actually tell a good story and convey emotions without needing any dialogue or
stupid plot twists. However, four fantastic minutes cannot salvage this movie.
5.75/10 – Not Recommended
You know, this movie set off red lights the second it was
announced. As you know already, I adore the TV show My Little Pony: Friendship
is Magic. While some of the episodes may have simple plots, it has some of the
best developed and most three-dimensional characters I’ve ever seen. So why not
make a movie that ruins these characters?
Equestria Girls has one of the most ridiculously stupid
concepts I’ve ever seen. Twilight Sparkle, one of the show’s main characters,
goes through a mirror into a new world. And that new world is earth, and
Twilight becomes a human.
Think about that for a second.
This new world contains counterparts of every single
character in the show, but for some reason instead of capable adults, they’re teenage
highschool students. And the two princesses are the principal and vice
principal. Do you see why this is a terrible idea?
But the concept is just the beginning. Every single counterpart
feels like some cruel mockery of what makes the original characters so great.
It’s like they took one thing from each character and decided that it’s the
only thing that should be represented in the movie.
In the show, Applejack is a stubborn but hardworking farmer
who usually plays the role of the level headed and most mature member of the
group. In the movie, her only characterization is that she has an accent. I’m
They take Rarity, a cunning and fast thinking clothing
designer who’s more generous then you’d expect her to be, and just make it so
that her only trait is that she likes fashion. Pinkie Pie is reduced from a
borderline crazy jokester to somebody who just fills the general role of “comic
relief” in the movie.
And of course, Rainbow Dash, one of the best developed
characters in all of media, is just reduced to an arrogant jerkass as her only
character trait. Of course, because apparently the concept of three dimensional
characters scared all the writers away. Oh, and there’s Fluttershy too, who’s
just as throwaway as she is in the show.
The only character who stays true to her normal
characteristics is Twilight, but the show is built on these strong
personalities interacting, not one strong personality playing off of blank
slates. The new characters aren’t anything to write home about either.
There’s the boyfriend, who seems like he was added do to a
last minute demand from Hasbro. He does nothing but stand around and just be “the
cute guy”. He’s just a generally nice guy, with not a single standout flaw or
character trait to write home about.
And then we get to the villain. Not only is her motivation
completely terrible, but her ‘genius’ plan couldn’t even work. Spoilers, if you
care. And of course you don’t. After Twilight wins the magical McGuffin, the
villain threatens to smash the mirror with a hammer to stop her from ever
coming back to her own dimension if she doesn’t hand of the McGuffin.
Now, there’s one big reason why this wouldn’t work. The
magical McGuffin came from the other dimension, and it’s made of metal as well.
So if a metal crown could go through the mirror, the hammer would just swing
right through it to the other dimension.
And if that wasn’t pathetic enough, the only reason Twilight
came into this dimension alone is that she doesn’t have another counterpart in
our world. If her other friends came with her, the other dimension would be obliterated.
This villain knows that, because she’s been through both dimensions multiple
times. So her mind controlled army would just walk into the mirror and destroy
the dimension she’s trying to conquer. Genius.
Of course, that seems like just a nitpick. But when the
entire movie is based around stopping this evil plot, it’s inexcusable. And I
know what you’re saying. It’s just a movie made to sell toys. Well, the show
was a TV show made to sell toys, but it’s brilliant and has clever writing! It
has good characters! It has a setup that actually requires some artistic
creativity! This movie just feels like a slap in the face to all the loyal fans
of the TV show, and is just a downright bad movie.
2.25/10-Do Not Watch. Seriously. Please.