I have gaming indigestion - Warbuff Blog - www.GameInformer.com
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I have gaming indigestion

Too much of anything is bad for you.  At least that is what my father has always told me.  I've often thought there must be an exception to this rule.  Too much money doesn't sound like a bad thing; or does having too many cars.  Surely too many games can't be a bad thing.

I forgot to pose a few games for this photo.  COD 4 -DS, COD WAW - DS, MOH: Hereos 2 - Wii, Far Cry 2 - 360

How about too many similar games?  Take a quick glance at your game library.  You may not agree, but what you have on the shelf defines the kind of gamer you are.  Are you a jack of all trades with a smattering titles from all genres?  Perhaps you are a JRPG fanatic who has anime toys flanking rows of obscure spiky haired adventures.  Or maybe you are like me and have hard time pulling a game off your shelf that doesn't have guns as the main gameplay mechanic.

This past Sunday I had plans to play Black Ops for a good 5 hours.  20 minutes into it I turned off the 360.  I had lost all motivation to run around aimlessly while campers shot me in the back and lightweights knifed me.  So I walked over to my game collection to find something else to play.  What I found made my stomach turn.  I saw FPS after FPS.  War Sims, fights for survival and espionage.  For the life of me I could not pull a single game off the shelf.

I was sick.  I wanted to throw it all up and start again.  Listening to reason I refrained from tossing everything into a bag and heading over to the local Gamer Time.  Instead I decided to fold some laundry and think about how I had become so ill.  In doing so I realized that I still very much enjoy shoot 'em up themed games and will for years to come.  But there are lots of game aspects I don't think I can stomach again.


Tunnel Vision

Ask a gamer my age who has fond memories of Doom, Duke Nukem 3D or another like minded title and we'll tell you that fetching key cards is a stale mechanic best left in the 90's.  But have we really moved onto something better?  Back then levels we like little mazes.  There were hidden passages and monster traps set up that could cause the entire level to morph.  Now a days it's just march forward until you reach the end.  If you see another path you'd like to use, maybe flank the enemy, TOO BAD the designer has blocked it off with an invisible wall.  Walk forward chump and just be glad you're walking at all.


Setting Charges

Put a charge on that 88!  Take out that AA gun! We gotta blow this bridge!  Man oh man I've probably set off enough TNT and C4 to equal the force of an atomic bomb.  I mean really, can we please find more creative objectives?  Setting a charge equates to little more than a button press.  I appreciated in Call of Duty 3 seeing an in depth animation but that just meant a few more button presses.  The next time someone tells me to plant a charge I'm going bury it 6 inches in the dirt and poor water over the sucker.


The All Knowing Voice

Cortana in Halo.  Anya in Gears of War. Dead Space, Mercenaries, Far Cry, Cold Winter and on and on.  Usually the voice is female but sometimes a man; telling me what to do constantly.  Giving running commentary about stuff that is happening right in front of me.  Having an AI piggy back in my suit was a unique idea.  But when it feels like every other game mimics the idea by having someone bark in my ear constantly I get a little tired of being everyone's butt monkey.

I wanted a picture here so I did a Google image search of Cortana...  Not a good idea

Getting a weapon at just the right moment

We've all experienced these moments.  Sarge gets taken out by a sniper.  Lucky for you there is a sniper rifle leaning against the crate next to sarge's body.  Or how about when your squad is in a house and suddenly the wall explodes because ZOMG a tank!  It's cool; there is a bazooka on the second floor with an infinite ammo crate nearby.  Just in case you miss the tank 10 times you can still try again.


Letting someone else open doors for me

Seriously this one is so silly but when you think about it it's going to bug you too.  Going back in time to Duke Nukem 3D and Doom in those games you could open doors all by yourself.  Heck in Duke you could even kick them open.  So what happened?  I guess designers think we are all incompetent.  We have to wait for a squad mate to come kick the door open.  I see the door, I know I have to go through it but I'm stuck waiting for an ally to run up and do the deed.

I'm not a lady.  Please let me open the door myself.

I could keep going but I'd be entering nit picking territory.  The point is, I've played a lot of the same thing over the last decade.  Like eating too much candy on Halloween, it was fun but now my tummy hurts and I only have myself to blame.  You can all blame me too because I'm the kind of consumer responsible for stamped out yearly releases of franchises like COD.  Now if you'll all just leave me to rest with my puke bucket, I'd like to lie down with some different games for a bit.

This video is from Medal of Honor: Vangaurd.  I played the entire game in 2 hours the other night.  It is the epitome of gameplay mechanics that have defined FPS war games.

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