30/30/30 ~ Ripe With Possibility - VolcanicSilver@hotmail.com Blog - www.GameInformer.com
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30/30/30 ~ Ripe With Possibility

 

Every now and then, life decides to present itself in unlikely ways. We as people don't always see it. Some people don't even choose to take what life has to offer. Yet, all it takes is for a person to just simply, go for it.

 

I'd like to think, that I've taken up with life and many of its wonderful gifts. Nay, I have taken up with life. If I even look a few years ago, stand where I am today, and take a couple steps back, there's a world of noticeable difference.

 

From the beginning, my own life has been one filled with prosperity. I'm lucky enough to live in a home environment that can take care of me, and perhaps even support some of my hobbies. However, that's not to say that I'm one without struggle. I would be a fool, to claim otherwise.

 

 

While I do live in an economically stable home environment, it hasn't been just one, but two homes. Ever since I was two years old, I've had to deal with the complications of having two sides of what was once called a "family". When I was five, I had to get in an airplane for the first time, by myself. I've ridden in an airplane every two weeks since, for eleven years.

 

Even though I wasn't hurt much by the emotional fallout of those problems, it affected me in little ways, which I had yet to learn.

 

The reality of my split lifestyle, was one in which I could never fully accustom to what I was supposed to be. My father, who is a figure of rock-steady balance and foundation, was unable to be around for me one-hundred percent of the time, and as a result I had to grow to things on my own, without the help of a dad. In addition, I was always moving back and forth between homes, which led to my un-assurance in making friends out of people.

 

During elementary school, I was personally made fun of. I didn't act quite the same as those in other groups, I strove to want to be in the "popular" groups, and I struggled to find a way to fit in. Things just never seemed to work out for me.

 

Be it from liking geeky things, happening to be a little too smart for my own good, or just being a plain dork. I wouldn't know what judged charisma and character anymore, from back then. What I do know, is that it affected me so much, that I had developed a self-afflicted case in which I couldn't make friends. Heck, much to my own dismay, I was forced to go to a re-assurance therapy that had me interacting with farm animals, to warm up to the concept of "acquaintances".

 

 

After that little escapade, it seemed like my problem would alleviate itself after finding a fresh start in a new town. And for the most part, it did. I made my start in the band program, and discovered the complexities of middle school and what it meant to have "choice".

 

However, it couldn't have been more than two years before I closed up the hole that I tried to hide in once before. That time, I tried to find a way out through 'artistic expression'; I suppose you could call it by that. I meant, dark poetry, changing hairstyle, sketching, and writing.

 

By the time high school rolled around, things began to open themselves up again. Band was becoming more and more of a personal investment, choice had shown itself to be even broader than originally imagined, and personal maturity had finally reached my ultimate realization - I am my own person.


Told more eloquently, the epiphany was that, you are what you make of yourself. Not anybody else's judgment, not anyone else's accusations, not any pre-determined expectations. What I do with myself, is entirely up to me.

 

 

The fact that only a few words could mean so much was revelatory to me. I could like whatever I wanted to like, act however I wanted to act, and aspire to be whatever I wanted to be.

 

As a result, I began to put more time into my musical talent. While I'm a self-proclaimed jack-of-all-trades, it wouldn't hurt to put a little more attention into what I thought would really count. Now, I'm one of the top twenty trombone players in the state of Texas, which is the most musically competitive area in the country.

 

I got my grades back up, fixed my attitude, changed my outlook on the way things could be, and even found a girlfriend. I tried out for a leadership role in band, and it has completely changed me. I understand the obligation of leadership, the weight of having to take care of two-hundred other people, and to keep things running smoothly. It's made me more responsible, happier, and more open to people. I can make friends!

 

Skip forward a year or so, and I discovered a magical little place called Gameinformer.

 

Remember how I said that I would write to express myself during my dark phase? Well, that's not to say that I let my talent go to waste. Writing in school was always fun to do. It was one of the best things to do, really. But there was never enough of it. That's why I decided to try my shots at the mysterious "Blogs" section on a random website.

 

My debut was not without a rocky start, as can be said with many people (I hope), as well. I didn't know what to think of it, and I didn't receive much in terms of public feedback. I thought that maybe I should just quit while I'm ahead, and not put too much attention into something that wouldn't really return in the long run. Man, was I wrong.

 

The first person I met was a user called mojomonkey12. He posted on my main page, telling me that it was cool to see a new person around those parts, and he appreciated what I'd tried to do. That had a world of impact on me. To this day, Jeremy supports me in ways that really have a way of boosting my self-esteem. I'm sure you'd all agree, but more personally, he's like a father to me on GIO, and acts like my own. It's nice, and re-assuring.

 

So, I gave it a couple more shots, and wrote an official introduction of sorts. It was then that I found out about Saint, who has proven to be an effective role model for any aspiring writer on Gameinformer. Knowing that there were people who were legitimately kind, and even more who were very experienced, I continued on in my upward battle, consisting of self-motivation and the goal to really polish myself as a writer.

 

 

It wasn't without its hardships too, though. I had a time-crunched schedule that didn't allow for much extra time at home, and after I felt that I had made a pretty good mark on the net, I faced a permaban on my log-in screen.

 

Just randomly one day, I was permabanned without any reason other than, "Other". After some asking around, I learned that it was either a glitch in GI's system, or one of the mods deciding to be a jerk. I worked around with a couple things, talking to Jack Gardner (who was at the time an accidental mod) to get me unbanned.

 

Because of the incident, I lost all of my previous blogs. It was pretty demoralizing, and I almost didn't want to continue on. That was obviously a stupid thought, and I knew it. There was too much to live up to, so many acquaintances made, the start of something in which I had developed a name for myself. I couldn't quit then.

 

So I worked my hardest to come back strong, writing more often, more diligently, more effectively. I was proud of myself. In a way, I kind of see of what had happened as a sort of test, and I had risen out of the ashes. Who wouldn't be proud of a self-achievement like that?

 

After a month or so of really getting into the swing of things, a new opportunity came out of the blue. A user named Stranger, with a really creepy-yet-cool Gorillaz avatar picture, left a message on my wall saying that I seemed like a really cool new guy, and thought it'd be great to talk to me more often. He invited me to his idea of a Skype Chatroom for Gameinformer Online members, and opted to add me as a chatroom moderator. He encouraged me to get a Twitter account, just to be able to talk to everybody on GIO. More often than not, he's done things to really bolster my position in this community, and feel like a part of everyone.

 

Since then, the journey of writing and social interaction with faceless, yet strangely kind and considerate, people had become prominent, and even a norm for me. It's been strangely enjoyable, extremely fun, and wonderfully helpful to me as a person.

 

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