The Sweet Sweet Review of Uwe's Boll's Postal (holy shiznit it's an Uwe Boll movie and it's about a video game who would have thought) - TOGNick Blog - www.GameInformer.com
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The Sweet Sweet Review of Uwe's Boll's Postal (holy shiznit it's an Uwe Boll movie and it's about a video game who would have thought)

Ok I apologize I know that the title is very long, but you have to excuse my excitement for this blog.  Ok, so yes Uwe Boll actually did a movie based off the game Postal, a game from Developer Running With Scissors and Published by Ripcord Games back in 1997, it really didn't have much of a plot and I never played it, but from what I knew you pretty much just went crazy and started shooting up town.  But this is not a video game review this is a Sweet Sweet Nicky Chocolate Review of the movie, based on the game, directed by Uwe Boll.  (who from what I hear is the equivalent to the lord of the underworld.  I don't know I've never been not entertained watching one of them)

Ok so, Postal the Movie is about Dude, played by Zack Ward, who lives in Paradise but got recently laid off.  His fat trailer trash girlfriend is cheating on him, with the trailer park snitch, and he decides to leave paradise. To do this he goes to his Uncle Dave, who runs some kind of weird hippy religious cult and also played by Dave Foley.  Uncle Dave owes the IRS 1.3 million dollars and 29 cents, and also needs money so they decide to steal a new hit toy called a Crotchy Doll.  Crotchy Dolls sounds exactly as they sound. Not surprisingly Osama Bin Laden and Al Qaeda are also in Paradise, which is know by George Bush, this movie was released in 2007 so he was still president, and they want to steal the crotchy dolls so that they can put Avian Flu in them and distribute them to American Children. 

Ok so this movie is freaking hilarious, say what you will about Uwe Boll, but I was laughing for about the whole last hour of this movie especially seeing Verne Troyer being prophesized as being raped by a 1,000 monkeys and than being in fact raped by chimpanzees, well you don't actually see it but it's implied.  It takes a certain amount of inspiration to enjoy, but have enough of it and you'll being loving your life.  Acting actually wasn't terrible, and there's a great cameo by Vince Desiderio, who was the lead programmer for the game, in which he attacks Uwe Boll, who owns a Nazi themed theme park called Little Germany.  Which promptly afterwards Uwe Boll exclaims "I hate video games."

That's what I mean about Uwe Boll, his movies are always entertaining and funny in their irreverent way.  Perhaps we should realize that video game movies that are too close to the source material just wouldn't make for a fun movie.  However sometimes if you're going to be Uwe Boll you should just stick to games that had no real plot that allow you to make it up as you go as it seemed the case was with this movie.

I'm going with Netflix rating for what they thought I would say and giving Postal 3 Dave Foley rooster shots out of 5 for being a *** good time if not at least for the last hour

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