The lights are on
Veteran Member - Level 11
These days, it seems like every video game is about some
normal guy who quickly learns something new about himself: He is capable of kicking large amounts of
ass. Seriously, if a soldier in real
life went on some of the insane murdering sprees you see in the game, he would
be a bloody legend for years to come, and would have no less than 3 (three!)
bikini-clad women in his house at any given time. But not everybody can do that. Even in the video game world, there are some
skills that particularly stand out in the realm of badasssery. Dual-wielding is nothing new, but there are
few that can truly master the art. Here
are the Top 10 Characters whose only answer to the age old question of "are you
right or left handed"...is yes.
You have to respect a man who can wield an electric chainsaw and a
boxing glove on a stick at the same time.
DeathSpank may not have the highest profile amongst this group of
people, but his imaginative weapon combinations and combat chops make him
worthy of a spot on this list nonetheless.
If he could only wield ranged weaponry as well as he can carry strange
melee objects around he would probably be a little higher on this list, but his
propensity for slow-shooting crossbows limits his ceiling somewhat. Sad, really, but at least he still has his
sense of humor. Nobody can take that
9. Cervantes (Soul Calibur): If Cervantes was only a regular skeleton
pirate zombie badass who dual wielded swords, there's a chance he wouldn't even
warrant a mention here, but he is a skeleton pirate zombie badass who wields freaking pistol swords. I didn't even know that was a thing,
man. I thought the gunblade was cool,
but it never seemed practical to me. Do you
really need to shoot and slice at the
same time? I say no. The pistol sword provides options, and its
design is so elegant that I can't believe they aren't a real thing. They are one of the coolest weapons around, and
Cervantes has two of them. That's pretty
8. Musashi (Brave Fencer Musashi): Mushashi is an interesting character in
the spectrum of dual-wielders. He is a
very annoying blue-haired "ninja" whose two major skills are dual-wielding and
using other peoples abilities. Exactly
one of those things is cool. And really,
it's not so much that he dual wields,
it's what he dual wields. Musashi acquires two sword early on in his
adventure, and exclusively uses them throughout. One is Lumina, a sweet giant blade that deals
an obscene amount of damage and can be charged elementally, and the other is
Fusion, a sweet katana that assimilates the skills of your fallen foes. Yep, they are as awesome as they sound, and
they were completely wasted on a spiky haired loser. There is no justice.
7. Starkiller (The Force Unleashed): Of course Starkiller is a complete
failure as a character, but he does have one of the better dual wielding resumes
around. Whatever your feeling on Star
Wars, it's hard to deny the sheer cool factor the lightsaber brings to the
table. From a strictly weapon
standpoint, Starkiller manages to fall short only to General Grievous, who's
exceptional quad-wielding ability actually makes him too awesome for this
list. I don't think that is a problem
Starkiller is going to run into anytime soon, but he can always take solice in
the fact that he isn't the worse thing to happen to Star Wars. That honor belongs solely to Hayden Christenson.
6. Ramza (Final Fantasy Tactics): It's not so much that Ramza dual-wields
particularly well or anything, he has to train as a ninja for a while to even
unlock it, but when he finally does start swinging swords around, things get
real fast. Thanks to Ramza's natural
ability to wield Knight Swords, he can become one of the most destructive
forces on the battlefield. Dual-wielding
Excalibur and Save the Queen is a great way to make you love you as a fighter,
and watching Ramza double-cut fools down like a reckless hurricane practically
wipes away whatever negative points he got from being such a loser. Few sights are better than watching a chocobo
get sheared in thirds by two giant swords.
5. Lara Croft (Tomb Raider): While today's Lara carries a bow around
and takes part in gritty survival reboots, yesterday's Lara was about three
things: exploring tombs, pulling levers and shooting twin pistols into wild
animals. The original Tomb Raider was a
great game in a lot of ways, but there was a special magic to holding down the
fire button while Lara poured a stream of bullets into whatever wolf, tiger or
bear happened to be attacking you. Hell,
she can even take out a T-Rex with those things. That's pretty impressive. As she upgrades to Uzis and Magnums, her gunslinging
ability only grows. I'm also pretty
sure she's the only person who dual-wields mountains. Impressive?
I'll let you decide.
4. Master Chief (Halo): While it's not a skill that he picked up
particularly quickly, dual-wielding eventually became a key part of Master
Chief's battle strategy. The key was
finding a delicate balance of what to bring.
Carrying two pistols around is perfectly acceptable, but lugging two
needlers with you is just a tad bit overkill.
It's a process. Despite his rocky start, Chief dual wields
guns better than most FPS veterans, and he makes those fools from Call of Duty
look like they have feet on the end of their arms. The iconic image of the dual SMG-wielding
Master Chief may seem standard now, but that;s not surprising. You know what they say: Once you wield two, nothing else will do.........Yeah,
they don't say that.
3. Max Payne:
There's a quote from Max Payne 3 that I thought summed his character
up perfectly: "I have lousy judgment but a steady hand." It's totally true. He puts himself into these ridiculous
situations that require him to gun down no less than 8 people per square yard,
but his amazing gun skills invariably get him out of them. What's really cool about ole Max is that,
while yes, he is completely wizard with two handguns, he looks cool no matter
which two guns he's carrying around. Pistol
and shotgun? Looks awesome. Uzi and
sniper rifle? No problem. He just carries one around the barrel. And I'm sorry, but nobody, nobody, leaps through the air shooting
two guns better than Max Payne.
2. Dovahkin (Skyrim): One thing you have to love about Skyrim
is the joy of slowly building your power curve through hours of training. If your Dragonborn wants to be a dual-wielding
god, then nothing is stopping you from grabbing a hatchet and a dagger and
mastering the skill. And master it you
can. By the time you flesh out the One
Handed skill tree you are a certified tornado, ripping apart anything that
dares come near with your dual blades of death.
Well, at least that's what mine were called. Even better, Dovahkin can totally dual-wield magic, or magic in one hand and a blade in the
other. That's versatility you can't
1. Kratos (God of War): When you are equipped with something called
the Blades of Chaos, there a pretty good chance that you are a badass. When you use them to wipe out an entire
pantheon of gods, you become something so much more. Kratos has always been a destructive force on
the battlefield, and that all starts with his sweet weaponry. Although the series has tried offering myriad
alternate weapon options, players return time and time again to the Blades of
Chaos, and later the Blades of Athena.
And then the Blades of Ares, I think.
Whatever. They are all the same,
and they are all awesome. Like it or
not, but Kratos has turned the task of dismembering things with two weapons
into an art form, and nabs the top spot as the number one dualwielder.