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Twelve Video Game Cliches That Will Never Die

 

The more things change, the more things stay the same. Video games have come a long way, and will probably change even more in the future. But some things will be part of video games forever. Love them or hate them, I give you  twelve video game clichés that will never die. (In no particular order)

12. Shooting bad guys


 

 Probably the most stereotypical thing video games do, and for good reason. When done right, it’s very satisfying to gun down virtual fools. You get the thrill of the kill without any real life repercussions. Granted, some people would make a stink about pretending to kill any kind of person, which leads us to…

11. Shooting space aliens

 Despite the fact it’s exactly the same as shooting make-believe bad guys, people seem to be more okay with this. Whether they want to take over earth, their religion told them too, or they simply don’t like us, aliens will always be there for us to kill (in self-defense of course) while providing us with awesome high-tech weaponry to steal. Plasma Pistol FTW!

10. Zombies

 You might be sick of them now, but they will always be there for two reasons. First, no one can complain about zombies teaching children to kill, because technically they’re not alive. Well actually, they are just as much alive as those virtual bad guys and aliens, but try not to think too much about that. Second, zombies give us a good excuse for cliché number nine, since it doesn’t fit as well against aliens and bad guys with guns.

9. Swords

 No matter how fighting is done now or will be done in the future, sword fighting will always be awesome. It’s intense, personal, and hardcore. When you’re surrounded by bad guys you pull out that blade of epic-ness and you know, just know, you are going to dominate them all. Unfortunately, they sometimes come with talking handless spirits. Hopefully that won’t stay too.

8. Super powers (magic, the Force, etc)

I refuse to believe there isn’t a person on earth who hasn’t wanted to shoot lightning out of their hands a le Darth Sidious, heal, or fly. People will always want that kind of power, and video games will always provide it. And for the record, earth-bending is still cooler then fire-bending.

7. Moving platforms

We don’t need a rational explanation for the fact that this thing is defying gravity somehow. Highly advanced technology, magic, a smiley face, whatever, the point is that this platform is moving, and you must use it to cross the gap. These things kill you more often than video game bullets, but that just makes getting across all the sweeter. Until you reach number six.

6. Disappearing platforms

 You think you’re so smart, taking your time jumping across those platforms and waiting for the moving ones. Well that’s not going to work anymore chump. The logic behind these things existing is zero, but that doesn’t change the fact they’re disappearing under your feet. So you better hold down the run button and double jump for your freaking life.

5. Fighting Dragons

 Your controller is soaked in sweat from your trembling hands. Before you is the most majestic beast of pure power to ever exist, and it’s going to kill you. Winning won’t be easy, you’re up against the most mighty force in the land, a creature that inspires fear and awe. This battle will be a close one. Unless you’re playing Skyrim.

4. An unrealistic amount of perfectly bodacious girls

 Even in the future the majority of gamers will still be teenage guys, so this will always be a part of video games, because it sells. Although I would be lying if I said I didn’t appreciate the gesture,  I would still rather be saving the princess then explaining to people why I’m beating up a scantily-clad woman. Also, elf ears are hot.

3. Giant buttons on the floor

 Fun will always triumph over logic. There is a button that opens the door thirty feet away for some reason. You stand on it. The door opens. You get off to go through the door and it closes again the second your foot leaves the button. Crap. Better go find a box or hold the button down with duct tape if you want to get through.

2. team-killing

 You and your friend are playing star wars battlefront II. You’re down to one command post and if either one of you die the battle is lost. So what do you do? You throw a thermal detonator at his or her feet and laugh hysterically as the words “defeat” appears on screen. The reaction of your friend will vary. The best kind will still scream at you but laugh with you about it afterwards. Some of my greatest video game memories are ones of betrayal or being betrayed, and that’s something that will always be special about video games.  But never do that when playing online.

1. One player mode

Playing with friends is nice and all, but sometimes it’s great to just chill by yourself and game away into the night, homework be darned. (Just kidding, do your homework it’s important) It’s a great way to blow off steam and relax. When you’re slaying the dragon and saving the princess with your magic sword, all is right with the world.

 

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