My Top Ten Stupid Things in RPG’s - The enemy gate is down Blog - www.GameInformer.com
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My Top Ten Stupid Things in RPG’s

 

This list is pretty much inspired by a similar blog by the Destroyer (here is a link). Here's a list of things that you commonly see in RPG's that either don't make sense in real life, or don't' make sense period.

10. Button pressing

 

Examples: Mario RPG's

 How do button presses you make in the real world, correspond to better (or worse) attacks in the game world? There is no way for any kind of logic to work here. Except for Video game logic of course.

 

9. Coins, it is always coins

 

Examples: Almost every game that even has money

Have you ever noticed that pretty much every game in existence that has a currency, uses gold coins for money?

In this case I'm not trying to be sarcastic or anything, because I actually know why they do this. Because all currencies in the World are of different sizes and colors, using one is bound to confuse people.... But, Gold is accepted around the World as "Valuable" so odd are, Gold will be valuable anywhere.

 

8. Out of sight, out of mind

 

Examples: Minecraft, 'Borderlands,' etc.

Why do items disappear after a few minutes if you haven't touched them? Is the grass made of acid? Does the character lose the ability to see what is no longer important?  Are there miniature Gremlins who steal items one pixel at a time until they fade away to nothing-ness whenever an unattended item touches the ground? Why am I asking Questions? Do any of them have answers?

 

7.  What's a Gun?

 

Tales of Xilla, among others

It's Okay when the whole world Medieval technology, but when only one person has it, it's un-forgivable. Take Tales of Xilla for example; Alvin has a weapon that looks, sounds, and works like a gun, yet no one else has one. Fire Arms were important inventions in human history; it's a wonder that he's been able to keep such a marvel to himself. Now I haven't progressed that far in Tales of Xilla, so future enemies may have guns, but I doubt it.

 

6. No pain, no gain

 

Examples: All of 'em

The Destroyer touched on this one, but didn't go too far in depth. First, how does one know the exact amount of damage one could take in the first place? Is there a special test you take that determines how many hit points you get? And for that matter, how can you be shot, stabbed, Fus-Ro-Dahed, farted at, hit, slashed, and so on,  yet be unaffected by it until you're dead? Seriously, can't you guy say so much as "Owww" when he gets hit by a Space Laser?

 

5. "Health Restoring Elixirs"

 

Example: Pretty much every RPG ever made

I could explain, but I'll just show you this episode of game Theory.

 

4. High power weapons

 

Examples: Every RPG ever made

In an RPG, if you have a weapon, chances are that there's a more powerful weapon out there.  This is kind of like what the Destroyer said about monsters being leveled, but it makes for a circle of questions.

Do the people who live in villages have powerful weapons because the monsters all around them are super powerful, or did the monsters around those villages evolve wo they can stand up to those weapons?

 

3. Big guy, Little Weapon

 

Infinite space, but there are probably some other games like this I'm sure.

This one is a lot more specific. In the Small Magellanic Cloud, a galaxy in Infinite space (it's also a galaxy in real life, but that's irrelevant), there are three countries; Egleva, Kylmos, and Nova Nacio (Pardon the misspellings). The player starts in Egleva which is set up to the Big Dog of the SMC. The only problem is, that (in standard RPG fashion) as you move on to Kylmaos and Nova Nacio you get bigger and better ships than the one you started with in Egleva.

Eventually, they shed a little light on the situation by saying that the Fleet of Egleva is a lot bigger than the fleets of the other 2 nations. But the problem stands; they're just a big intimidating guy holding a stick.

 

2. Random Encounters

 

Examples: Oh, I don't know, Pokémon?

So, how exactly are they supposed to sneak up on you? I mean, sometimes it makes a little sense. Pokémon can hide in tall grass and such; but of course you eventually work your way into an area where there is no grass, or anything to hide with for that matter. What then? Am I supposed to believe that all enemies at that point in the game have cloaking technology that they use to sneak up on the protagonist to engage a battle (usually giving him the first turn no less), and immediately discard it after they start the battle? Why no use it to get behind him? Or conduct Stealth raids? Heck, why don't you have the protagonist walk into an "empty" room that just turns into one of these numbers:

 

 

 

1.Semi-Silent Protagonists

Examples: The Legend of Zelda, Half-life, Final Fantasy, Mario RPG(s), Dragon Quest, SMT, Pokémon, Elder Scrolls, Blah blah blah, the list goes on and on.

 

*Disclaimer*Before I get into this, I just want to say that I do like having a silent Protagonist, and it is good for projecting yourself on... sometimes.*

 

You know what I hate about silent protagonists? They talk.

What I mean is that Developers go out of their way to make sure that you, the player, never hears' you character utter a word; But we know that they must talk at some point. How does Gordon Freeman Introduce himself? How does Link tell a shop keeper that he needs a Heart? How does the Pokémon trainer tell Professor Oak which Pokémon he wants?

Why give a choice between Text boxes? Does it really kill the immersion to have a character speak a Yes or No Question?

And what's even worse is when you actually hear them talk! The fact that Mario talks in Italian Giberish instead of English is tells us more about what his thoughts of the player than no speech at all. Grunts and shouts pretty much tell us the whole story as it is. So it's too much of an Effort to record voice sessions for the DragonBorn, but certainly not for his Dragon shouts, or any single NPC in all of skyrim.

 

 

Honorable Mention: Female Armor

 

Well that's my list. Tell me your thoughts and suggestions in the comment section below.

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