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Apparently tonight was the Emmys. You might care as much (or
should I say little) as I do. The only reason I knew it was the Emmys was
because every morning the radio station I listen to hosts a contest where a
random caller has a shot at winning concert tickets if they can answer a few
trivia questions better than one of the hosts. And today's episode asked a
question about the Emmys. Then of course there are a couple of Hollywood
personalities I follow on Twitter and they made mention of it. But pretty much,
I'm not interested in it, or all the fanfare and hoopla that come with it...especially
that whole Red Carpet affair.
It did give me pause to reflect on an old blog I posted a
year or two (or three) ago about the (fictitious, obviously) video game Emmy
nominees and winners. I didn't feel like doing that sort of blog again, so this
time I thought I'd focus on the best and worst dressed video game characters
who would be walking down the Red Carpet...assuming there was such a thing at the
Video Game Emmys. And since the Emmys usually see actors and actresses come out
in droves whether they've starred in a role recently or not, I think the same
can be true of the video game Red Carpet event too. Don't worry, I'll keep the
list relatively short, but please, feel free to add your own picks of best and
1. Phoenix Wright
(Phoenix Wright, Ace Attorney)
Attorneys are one of those professions where you have to
dress up and look nice, at least that's sort of how I envision it...and Phoenix
Wright always looks sharp. I don't even play the games and I know this about
him. Every picture I've ever seen of him, he has a fancy suit and tie on. And
with the bucks he's making, no doubt he has a closet full of suits equivalent of the real life Armani or Ralph Lauren kind. My guess is when he shows up to the Video
Game Emmys and walks the Red Carpet, he will be one of the flashiest, most
sharp-dressed men, in attendance.
2. Princess Peach
One thing is for certain - if Princess Peach is in a game
she is going to be dressed like a princess. Seriously, I can't think of a game
she's been in (and she's been in plenty) where she hasn't been wearing a stunning
dress from her expansive wardrobe or some other similarly fancy pink outfit. She will wow the crowds under a shower of
flashbulbs and cheers from the mob cheering her arrival.
3. John Marston (Red
John Marston might show up wearing last year's (or century's)
best threads, but no doubt he'll look rather dapper in his elegant suit...one of
many outfits he has at his disposal. Woe to the security guard who tells him he'll
have to check his gun belt and six shooters with the concierge.
The elegant suit is bought
from the tailor in Thieves' Landing. Wearing this suit allows the player to
cheat at Poker. Obtaining this outfit will also score the player the He Cleans
Up Well! achievement/trophy.
While Princess Peach gracefully walks the carpet with elegance
and class, Bayonetta takes a bit of a different approach. Wearing a skin-tight
black suit that would be the envy of all the Kardashians, Bayonetta confidently
struts down the carpet, admiring the bright red color while noticing all the
gazes she is attracting, a hint of a smile and a curious twinkle in her eye.
5. Snake, (Metal
Sure, he looks rough...he's been through a lot. But clean him
up and throw a tuxedo on him and he'll be the guy people whisper when he walks
by. They'll want to sit near his table but far enough away when he's had a
drink too many he won't pose an immediate threat to their well-being. Rumor has
it five extra undercover security guards are seated nearby. I don't think it
will be enough.
1. Nick Ramos (Dead
It's not that Nick Ramos is necessarily a bad dresser, but
the fact Dead Rising 3 lets you dress him in all sorts of crazy articles of
clothing has resulted in him being unable to recognize what looks good and what
doesn't. My guess is most people don't show up to the Emmys with the goal of winning
the worst dressed award. Well, Nick arrives thinking he looks fine, but alas,
nobody else seemed to think so.
2. Jack (Mass Effect)
If Miley Cyrus was a video game character, she might very
well be Jack from Mass Effect. When you first encounter her, she is barely
clothed...and apparently this is by choice. Her wardrobe selection for the Video
Game Emmys didn't add much to her outfit, and most of the hosts interviewing folks
on the Red Carpet just let her pass on by...blushing and at a loss of words.
3. Master Chief
Apparently Master Chief's invitation was "lost in the mail"
but when he showed up to valet parking driving a Wart Hog nobody dared tell him
he wasn't on the list. Apparently he hates these events but gets a kick out of
watching the staff squirm to accommodate his stocky stature. Nobody really
knows what he's thinking...and he certainly never says anything about it. Oh, and
he wears the same thing every year, for the past who knows how many years. A
few more scorch marks and bullet holes but the same trademark green MJOLNIR armor.
4. Harley Quinn
With a career that started out as Dr. Harleen Frances
Quinzel, M.D. - the years have not been kind to Harley Quinn. Whether it's
drugs, falling in love with the Joker or some other form of madness, Harley
Quinn's revealing attire doesn't just highlight her physical features but also
how far she's fallen from the life she once lived. Her friends and fellow
gamers have reached out to her but she just won't listen. She was kicked out of
last year's Emmys before the event reached the half way point.
5. Ethan Mars (Heavy
In the game Heavy Rain, Ethan Mars took on a roll as a solemn,
depressed father who had a number of unfortunate events disrupt his otherwise
happy life. I don't know if Ethan Mars will ever be able to shake this perception
of his character, but he always seems to be down and dejected. Like those actors
who don't get all dolled up just because there is a black tie event going on,
Ethan Mars normally shows up to any event, including the Video Game Emmys,
unshaven, unkempt, and wearing a dark colored t-shirt and jeans.
Apparently another big feature of the Emmys is who is tapped
to host the event. I can think of no better hosts than Nathan Drake and Elena
Fisher. They are funny, entertaining and liked by all.
Heck, I'd start watching the Emmys if it featured video game
It should go without saying, but please don't take this blog