I don't know what it is about Ninja Warrior, but I'm a huge fan of the series. I was watching it back when the contestants didn't speak English and it wasn't called American Ninja Warrior. And as much as I like the show, I much preferred the older version than the newer, although I do like a number of the newer obstacles. They are ridiculous!

I'd like to see a Ninja Warrior video game...

No, not like this one...

This is kind of cheesy.

I'd like to see a full-fledged video game. And not only that, I'd like for the contestants to be video game characters. Of course we would never see characters from Microsoft, Sony and Nintendo competing head to head, but it's late and I just finished watching an episode. I'm probably not in my right mind for thinking this (or blogging about it), but that certainly wouldn't be the first time.

So, I considered a popular character from each company and wondered how they would perform on the obstacles we're seeing from this year's season of American Ninja Warrior. And the contestants are, Mario, Marcus Fenix from the Gears of War series, and Nathan Drake from the Uncharted series.

Quintuple Steps

Competitors have to jump across four platforms that were angled 45° degrees toward the center of a water pit, and then have to jump to the platform at the end. The platforms were positioned right, left, right, left across the length of the pit. This obstacle requires both speed and balance.

Mario: Mario would breeze through this as he has trained for years for this type of obstacle. He'd probably even set the time to beat, and be like those contestants you see who run gracefully through the obstacle springing off each angled platform.

Marcus Fenix: Marcus is a bigger guy...not as graceful as Mario. He'd manage to make it through the obstacle...barely. It wouldn't be graceful, that's for sure.

Nathan Drake: Nathan wouldn't be as graceful as Mario, but he wouldn't be as clumsy as Marcus. He'd post a respectable time.

Cat Grab

Competitors have to clear three six-foot walls by jumping ten feet out and landing on them much like a cat would. Competitors grab the top of the wall, pull themselves up, and jump to the next wall.

Mario: Once again, the years of training and jumping on flag poles have prepared Mario for an event like this. Mario easily clears the gap between each of the walls and ends up safely on the other side in record time.

Marcus Fenix: Marcus uses a slow and steady approach with this obstacle, tackling each wall with precision. He has remarkable upper body strength and can easily pull himself up each wall until he makes it to the other side.

Nathan Drake: Nathan's overconfidence in this obstacle is almost his undoing. He clears the first two walls with no trouble but a bad jump on the last wall leaves him hanging by his fingertips. Mustering up all the strength he can, he finally manages to pull himself up but no dbout exerted a lot of energy he'll need later in the course.

Spinning Log

The competitor must cross a horizontal log that freely rotates around a central axis parallel to the course. The log is about 3 meters long and 20 cm in diameter.

Mario: Could Mario steal the whole show? He's run on (and across) his fair share of unstable platforms, so the spinning log was a breeze. Right now he is pacing Marcus and Nathan who are struggling to keep up with his time.

Marcus Fenix: Noooo. Marcus's body mass finally gets the best of this oversized soldier. He lost his footing which resulted in the log starting to spin, and at the point he couldn't recover. He took a hard hit too, and he's out of the competition. Maybe it was his selection of footwear...those boots look massive.

Nathan Drake: Having traversed the world over including a lot of time spent in the jungle, ole Nathan Drake has run across a number of spinning logs and this one was one of the easier ones to cross.

Spikes into Cargo

A number of spikes hanging from ropes ending with a cargo net. Competitiors must grab a hold of the spike and swing to the next. This even requires superior hand and upper body strength.

Mario: Mario might be quick on his feet, but he has practically no upper body strength. He jumps to the first spike, spins wildly out of control before plummeting to the water below...and ending his run to the ultimate ninja warrior.

Nathan Drake: Nathan has climbed vertical surfaces including rock formation...and who can't forget that train hanging off the side of a cliff. He manages to swing from spike to spike before reaching the cargo net on the other side and climbing down to the platform.

Devil Steps

This obstacle is a set of ascending and descending stairs where the competitor must climb under the steps to reach the next obstacle. The competitor must climb upwards first, then reach behind them to reach the steps leading down.

Nathan Drake: The Devil Steps are ridiculously challenging and Nathan started out strong, but once he reached the top step, he started struggling on the transition to the other side of the obstacle. He managed to hang there for a few seconds before plummeting to the water below.

Doesn't look like anybody will reach the top of Mount Midoriyama this year. Maybe next...

What the heck did I just write? I need to go to bed.

Hope y'all have a safe and enjoyable Fourth of July.