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Veteran Member - Level 11
I don't know what it is about Ninja Warrior, but I'm a huge
fan of the series. I was watching it back when the contestants didn't speak
English and it wasn't called American Ninja Warrior. And as much as I like the
show, I much preferred the older version than the newer, although I do like a
number of the newer obstacles. They are ridiculous!
I'd like to see a Ninja Warrior video game...
No, not like this one...
This is kind of cheesy.
I'd like to see a full-fledged video game. And not only
that, I'd like for the contestants to be video game characters. Of course we
would never see characters from Microsoft, Sony and Nintendo competing head to
head, but it's late and I just finished watching an episode. I'm probably not
in my right mind for thinking this (or blogging about it), but that certainly
wouldn't be the first time.
So, I considered a popular character from each company and
wondered how they would perform on the obstacles we're seeing from this year's
season of American Ninja Warrior. And the contestants are, Mario, Marcus Fenix
from the Gears of War series, and Nathan Drake from the Uncharted series.
Competitors have to
jump across four platforms that were angled 45° degrees toward the center of a
water pit, and then have to jump to the platform at the end. The platforms were
positioned right, left, right, left across the length of the pit. This obstacle
requires both speed and balance.
Mario: Mario would breeze through this as he has trained for
years for this type of obstacle. He'd probably even set the time to beat, and be
like those contestants you see who run gracefully through the obstacle
springing off each angled platform.
Marcus Fenix: Marcus is a bigger guy...not as graceful as
Mario. He'd manage to make it through the obstacle...barely. It wouldn't be
graceful, that's for sure.
Nathan Drake: Nathan wouldn't be as graceful as Mario, but
he wouldn't be as clumsy as Marcus. He'd post a respectable time.
Competitors have to
clear three six-foot walls by jumping ten feet out and landing on them much
like a cat would. Competitors grab the top of the wall, pull themselves up, and
jump to the next wall.
Mario: Once again, the years of training and jumping on flag
poles have prepared Mario for an event like this. Mario easily clears the gap
between each of the walls and ends up safely on the other side in record time.
Marcus Fenix: Marcus uses a slow and steady approach with
this obstacle, tackling each wall with precision. He has remarkable upper body
strength and can easily pull himself up each wall until he makes it to the
Nathan Drake: Nathan's overconfidence in this obstacle is
almost his undoing. He clears the first two walls with no trouble but a bad
jump on the last wall leaves him hanging by his fingertips. Mustering up all
the strength he can, he finally manages to pull himself up but no dbout exerted
a lot of energy he'll need later in the course.
The competitor must
cross a horizontal log that freely rotates around a central axis parallel to
the course. The log is about 3 meters long and 20 cm in diameter.
Mario: Could Mario steal the whole show? He's run on (and
across) his fair share of unstable platforms, so the spinning log was a breeze.
Right now he is pacing Marcus and Nathan who are struggling to keep up with his
Marcus Fenix: Noooo. Marcus's body mass finally gets the
best of this oversized soldier. He lost his footing which resulted in the log
starting to spin, and at the point he couldn't recover. He took a hard hit too,
and he's out of the competition. Maybe it was his selection of footwear...those boots
Nathan Drake: Having traversed the world over including a
lot of time spent in the jungle, ole Nathan Drake has run across a number of
spinning logs and this one was one of the easier ones to cross.
Spikes into Cargo
A number of spikes hanging from ropes ending with a cargo
net. Competitiors must grab a hold of the spike and swing to the next. This
even requires superior hand and upper body strength.
Mario: Mario might be quick on his feet, but he has
practically no upper body strength. He jumps to the first spike, spins wildly
out of control before plummeting to the water below...and ending his run to the
ultimate ninja warrior.
Nathan Drake: Nathan has climbed vertical surfaces including
rock formation...and who can't forget that train hanging off the side of a cliff.
He manages to swing from spike to spike before reaching the cargo net on the
other side and climbing down to the platform.
This obstacle is a set
of ascending and descending stairs where the competitor must climb under the
steps to reach the next obstacle. The competitor must climb upwards first, then
reach behind them to reach the steps leading down.
Nathan Drake: The Devil Steps are ridiculously challenging
and Nathan started out strong, but once he reached the top step, he started
struggling on the transition to the other side of the obstacle. He managed to
hang there for a few seconds before plummeting to the water below.
Doesn't look like anybody will reach the top of Mount
Midoriyama this year. Maybe next...
What the heck did I just write? I need to go to bed.
Hope y'all have a safe and enjoyable Fourth of July.