I'm not sure how popular this expression is anymore, but when I was a kid it seemed like I was always being told, "If I had a nickel every time I..." followed by some claim, then the person would be wealthy enough to what...retire? Psh...doubtful. With Starbucks introducing a $7.00 cup of coffee, you can't even buy a cup of Joe for a nickel anymore.

I do admit though, if you go to Google and search on "if I had a nickel" you are likely to find some rather humorous results, like the one poking fun at Bill Gates for saying "If I had a nickel every time Windows crashed, I'd be the richest man in the United States."

Q: If I had a nickel for every time someone said ASAP, how rich would I be?

A: Well if someone said ASAP to you once a day for a year (365 days) you would have $18.25.

There is a website that lists all sorts of media that uses this expression, and there is actually a video game category that lists Prince of Persia, which uses a modified version of the phrase.

Mahasti: You missed your time! The Vizier has already begun to transform the women I imprisoned! You buy yourself hours at best!

The Prince: If I had some sands for every time someone said that to me...


Mahasti: Your journey will not end well!

The Prince: If I had sands for every time someone said that to me...

Anyway, I figure due to inflation and since I am going to be providing a list of video game responses to this particular idiom, I can be paid in GameStop gift cards...feel free to choose any amount you want.

If I Had A GameStop Gift Card Every Time I...

(insert comment here)

...I'd get a lifetime supply of free games (or at least a couple free ones).

-turned the console on, loaded the game and realized I have the wrong hard drive installed (360).

-saved my progress when I meant to reload from my last checkpoint.

-reloaded my last checkpoint when I meant to save my progress.

-skipped a cut scene because I was trying to pause it.

-sat down to play and the controller batteries died...and I have no more spare batteries (not the PS3).

-was killed by a randomly thrown grenade, knife and/or tomahawk.

-was killed by an exploding vehicle.

-had a negative kill/death ratio and still been accused of cheating.

-joined a game and was assigned to the losing team.

-joined a game and was assigned to the losing team who is defeated within 30 seconds of joining.

-didn't want a particular map to get voted in or randomly selected...and it was.

-heard someone say they are totally wasted while gaming.

-have had to mute a fellow player for being a troll or for inappropriate conduct.

-have had to mute a fellow player just because their voice annoyed me.

-shot first, but still managed to get knifed (one of the reasons I quit playing MW2).

-was leading the race and lost the lead on the final lap (especially Mario Kart).

-was leading the race, lost the lead on the final lap with the finish line in sight (Mario Kart, again).

-visited a store that sells video games and read the back of the box for a game I already own.

-was late for work because I stayed up too late playing video games.

-heard an obvious little kid playing an M-rated game-at 1 o'clock in the morning.

-thought I could jump across a gap and fell to my death (I'm looking at you Mario).

-dug through the block I was standing on and fell in lava (Minecraft).

-heard someone blame lag for their poor performance.

-went into a GameStop just to look and left with a new game and two more on reserve.

-went to play a game and had to wait for it to auto-update before I could (lately, everything).

-said I'd be done in a minute and it turned into two more hours.

-heard someone claim a certain tactic or weapon is cheap, but then they turn around and use it.

-didn't plan on buying anymore games until I finished the one I was working on, but did anyway.

-tested the strength & functionality of the Wii controller's wrist strap (Donkey Kong Country Returns).

-waited in line for the midnight release of a game, only to go home and go to bed without playing it.

-yelled curses at my video game console and/or PC.

-used button mashing or any other cheap tactic to score at least one hit so my foe doesn't get a perfect.

-heard fellow gamers argue over whether video games are or aren't art (even though they both agree).

-saw a gamer tag, avatar and/or spray that made me question humans as the intelligent species.

-choked on a Quick Time Event over, and over, and over, and over (especially in the God of War series).

-did something really stupid and looked around to make sure nobody was watching (Halo + grenades).

-tried to perform an action just to see if the developers took it into consideration (Portal).

-was surprised the developers did take it into consideration (walking off the cliff in Monkey Island).

-was asked by a GameStop employee if I wanted to reserve something.

-emptied an entire magazine and didn't even get a single hit marker (most games with a gun).

-got multiple hit markers and no kill...and verbally accused the game of cheating.

-thought I could play with inverted controls because I didn't think to check the options to change it.

-wondered how in the world some gamers play with inverted controls (Batarang - Arkham City).

-told myself I don't care about achievements but then get all excited when one pops up.

-referred to the people I play with or socialize online with as my friends.

-heard someone talk trash and then get humiliated.

-had to endure listening to someone whine about quickscoping and/or body shots (a kill is a kill).

-listened to someone say Call of Duty sucks and its boring, but then catch them playing it (my kids).

-restarted a song on Guitar Hero or Rock Band because I gaffed an easy note that wrecked the mojo.

-bought video game merchandise (clothes, books, cell phone cases, etc).

-have been called a noob by someone who is clearly a noob.

-had to listen to gamers debate which is better, the Xbox 360 or the Playstation 3 (we know it's the Wii).

-blogged about video games (that one seemed fairly obvious).

Well, I suppose I could go on for another page or two, but I'm at my three page limit so I'll wrap this up for now and put you out of your misery...although something tells me a fair amount of you have experienced these same issues and thought the same thing. If not, just wait...the longer you've been a gamer (a polite way of saying "when you're old") the more opportunities you have to be exposed to this sort of stuff.