A Chronicling of My Many Ridiculous Travels

Being the old man that I am, I figure it's time that I leave behind some sagely advice and tales of the various things I've experienced in and out of the state and on or around the road. What better way to share with the rest of the world than a blog?

As some of you may remember (Read: no one), I used to work at a dealership. The list of things I would do in a day was great, and the gratitude that was expressed to me was nonexistent. I mean, I would bring in half of the profit the parts department received, and no one gave a ***. They didn't even offer me benefits until the day I announced my two weeks! That, however, is neither here nor there, and I am obviously not a bitter person harboring a grudge towards a crappy company that deserves everything they've gotten and will continue to get. No sir, I've moved on with my life.

Anyway, if I had to label myself, I would have to say that I was the deliveryman. It was my job was to make sure every part arrived each day and then make sure it was where it belonged. Whether or not it's final destination was on site or miles away was up to my bosses. Why we ordered parts for our fellow dealerships when the truck went there anyway or why our body shop was seriously an hour away was beyond me, but hey, it paid the bills and kept me from being stuck in the house all day.

Ever wonder why you had to wait hours or even days for something as simple as replacing your radio dial? It's because no one in the car industry knows what they're doing. That's not even hyperbolic in any sense of the word.

I literally had to drive an hour and a half to deliver a volume knob that was on back order for roughly a week. This was a $6 piece of plastic, and even though the rest of the car was repaired the shop couldn't release it just yet. No, they had to fix absolutely everything. The worst part about it was that when it came time to pay they thought they were on our accounts. Nevermind the *** place had just opened and this was the first thing they had ever ordered from us. Needless to say, I was a bit peeved that day.
But I digress. The whole point of this was to share some funny stories that you may or may not see the humor in. More than likely I'll end every blog with "Well, I guess you just had to be there" and then apologize profusely for wasting your time. Luckily, I'm an expert at delivering that line. I'm that awkward story teller you see at parties who just walks in during the middle of a conversation, tells my story, lowers my head and nods, and then just walks away like it never happened.

I believe my new moniker will be the Awkward Phantom.

The first part should come sometime in the next year whenever I get around to it, and will tell of the Misadventures of Hobo Steve.