Score: 7.75/10

For the record, I put the score first so you don't have to read the rest of my crappy post. You're welcome.

The Good:
This is absolutely, the funniest game I have ever played. Though I suppose that isn't saying much, since comedy isn't the most prominent genre in video games. The story is a bit short, but overal solid; and there are enough side missions to keep you busy for hours.

The landscape is a hodgepodge of classic album covers mixed with heavy metal icons. I can't tell you much more without revealing the plot, so you'll have to play it for yourself. What I can tell you is that it's the most unique video game universe I have seen since... well hell it's really unique.

So you would expect a heavy metal game to have some heavy metal bands right? Right. Over a hundred songs are in the game, easily making it my favorite soundtrack in video game history. Here are some of the big ones: Anthrax, Black Sabbath, Ozzy Osbourne, Rob Zombie, Slayer, Static X, Tenacious D, Def Leppard, Dethklok, Motley Crue, Motorhead, Dragon Force, Judas Priest, Kiss, Marylin Manson, Mastodon, Megadeth.

The characters are all beautifully engineered and interact like a well oiled machine of death and metal. Multiple factions fight for control over the world, primarily Ironheade, Drowning Doom, and Tainted Coil. Ironheade is made up of humans that have been enslaved by demons and fight for freedom, they have a heavy Norse tone to them and their land is littered with ancient <i>titanic relics</i> like giant highways and chrome volcanoes. The Drowning Doom is a mixture of emo and gothic fashion slapped onto a Tim Burton universe. Expect lots of blue and black, with too much makeup. Then there is the Tainted Coil, deformed creatures that use latex and bondage to cover their ugly bodies. Their monuments are bonded in leather and metal rings, these guys even ball-gagged a freaking mountain. Oh and did I mention the cameo appearances? Ozzy Osbourne, Lemmy Kilmister, and Rob Halford are in the game. Don't feel bad if you don't know them, I only recognized Ozzy too.

Major encounters take place in the form of stage battles. Eddie Riggs and his crew erect a giant stage, and suck the souls of fans from ancient pyres, using them to spawn unique units. Your character will sprout wings, turning the battle into a mix between real-time strategy aspects, and regular gameplay. The three factions listed before are also usable in multiplayer battles, each with their own unique units.

The Bad:
Stage battles get pretty repetitive by the end of the game, and difficulty goes through the roof if you aren't actively looking for new songs to turn the tides of battle. On top of that, the comedy starts to water down by the end, and there's not much incentive to replay the story, but once is plenty.

The Salty:
When I look at other games and try to compare them, Brütal Legend feels very close to something like The Legend of Zelda for grown-ups. Instead of some sissy ocarina you get a guitar that summons things like a giant flaming zeppelin to crash down on enemies. Epona? *** that, you get a hot rod (the Druid Plow) with mounted weapons, and a customizable paint job. Master sword? No thanks, I'll take that giant bloodied axe instead.

The combat is solid and there are enough fancy tricks to keep you entertained through the hack n' slash action. Overall it's an extremely polished game, and can only be summed up in one word.


7.75 bloodied battle axes out of 10.