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Dragon Born Loser

My name is Vorhyym Serpensmide, dragonborn. Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair! At least try not to laugh. My character continues his clumsy quest through Skyrim for love and loot. (I'll try to avoid spoilers as usual, though the pix will give away visuals.)

Oh, and apologies for the size of this phlog, as I'd made time to play but not to blog so I have way too many screenshots on display. Hopefully they're all worth it.

Uh huh. Like a bad horror movie, I want to shout, "Turn around!" Then again, I go skipping ahead singing tra-la-la. Vorhyym and Illia would make good horror movie victims.

Well this time, at least, the cave turned out to be pretty impressive. It's like the Plaza Hotel of subterranean accommodations! Just needs pest control.

Creepy caves make me want to climb a mountain. Like cats, however, your rides are less adept at descent. I should know, I've killed a few.

Storytime! Gather 'round. Once upon a time a wary warrior hid from a dragon on a mountaintop. The bored dragon flew to the valley below and slew hapless Imperial guards before attacking picnicking trolls nearby. But the mean trolls killed the serpent, depriving the warrior of his trophy. The cheated warrior vanquished two trolls but one got in a drunken brawl with a bear before both killed eachother. True story. The moral? If you shirk responsibility long enough, your problems will take care of themselves.

"When I was your age, we walked uphill, in a snowstorm, carrying over 300 pounds, with barely any stamina to sustain us!" Be grateful your grandparents didn't live in Skyrim.

One of my most important discoveries: moving clouds! Static skies are a pet peeve, so imagine my relief. Ironically, the clouds sometimes move faster than the framerate on my PS3 copy.

This is where I gallantly slew the fearsome dragon in the above story. You know, after I restarted so I could claim victory. There's also a stone sentinel that I avoided, only to find out later you can take their soul gems! If I wasn't hiding I'd probably have figured this out sooner.

This High Elf needs to get off his high horse. And I'm just the Dovahkiin to do it! From a distance, of course. Nevertheless, I think he still killed me once. Those slow moving bolts are not as easy to evade as you might think.

Point taken! Haha.

I could have used this tip when I got stuck in the environment, though I suppose it would be annoying every second I was climbing somewhere I wasn't supposed to go.

Sometimes there's a chill between Illia and Vorhyym. Maybe showing off my full Dwarven regalia while she slums it in mage rags doesn't help.

I might not be the brightest bulb, but at least I can climb stairs! Illia got stuck for a spell (haha, get it?). (OK, taunting probably doesn't help, either.)

Today's lesson: 22 healing potions at 25 points each is how many total points of health? Answer: Not enough.

Guess who didn't read the "Danger: Flammable" warning label? This wasn't my only death. In fact, I've become so preoccupied with inventory management during these fights, I apparently unequipped armor during one embarrassing bout and ended up dead with no clothes on! I have no idea where THAT photo went.

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