"I will destroy you.  Of that, you can be certain."

Whenever we game, we often take a specific part of our psyche and apply it to our gaming strategy.  We all know at least one person who, when losing, will slam their controller or their game pieces/cards on the table and storm away.

Gaming is not for the weak of heart (well, at least not for very long...), and whether you decide to play console, handheld, board-type or with a pack of cards, the most important thing to know is who YOU are, while also being somewhat familiar with the playing strategies of your co-gamers.

So I've compiled a little list of some of the most common "types" of gamers.  I find it really interesting, because especially when I get backed into a corner, I tend to game the very same way every time.  It's like I have some kind of genetically imbued type of strategy written into my DNA.  Now, we all can find a little bit of ourselves in each type, so don't worry about being pigeonholed.

The Angry Gamer

Appearance: Face is constantly contorted in RAGE-FILLED FURY.

Favorite Quote: "*@%$*& YOU and &^%$##@ YOUR GAMING and $&*^&^E*&W$^@&$$%%."

Now this is one of the most common gamers that plagues multiplayer.  Either they get angry because they completely suck at the game and keep getting killed, or they keep getting angry because "none of you Noobs are good enough to beat awesome me."  Basically, nothing makes this gamer happy.  They're most likely to have a potty-mouth, and pretty much can't be satisfied, regardless of how well things are going for them.  These gamers generally tend to have a long sharp stick lodged firmly in a certain place that will remain nameless, but you all know where I mean.

The Elitist Gamer

Appearance: Usually wears some sort of hat that was invented in the 18th/19th century and has perfected the smirk and eyebrow raise to perfection.

Favorite Quote: "Oh yeah, I played that....back when it was actually GOOD."

This gamer is the sort of person who will never tire of trying to one-up you.  You may never have seen this person game, but you are constantly reminded of how inferior your puny skills are in comparison to the massive and undying experience and knowledge that this gamer exudes from every pore.  Largely, you will never know for sure anyway, as the elitist gamer often considers their skills to be above that of mere mortals and therefore refuses to soil their gaming hands by playing with the "average" gamer.

The Cheap Gamer

Appearance: Sneaky, shifty eyes coupled with a hoodie.  Usually chooses Chun-Li.

Favorite Quote: "Hey, look over there!  Oh, nope, I guess it was nothing...."

This gamer always chooses the character in the fighting game that does the annoying fast moves that basically gets the unfair advantage unless you're really good at said game.   This is the person who camps on spawn points in multiplayer and kills you off as soon as you enter the arena.  This person is the first one to grab the smackdown hammer in Smash Brothers and will constantly look for the easiest way to basically get the one-up on everyone else possibly even as far as stooping to cheating.

The Button Mashing/Winging It Gamer

Appearance: Wild Eyes, wildly moving hands and fingers-often mistaken for a migratory bird.

Favorite Quote: "Maybe if I do this-no this, no how about all these at the same time and turn around and agh I can't look!"

I have a confession to make.  I used to be one of these gamers when it came to the very few times that I ever got money to play an arcade fighting game.  Tekken was my game of choice, and boy oh boy did I button mash.  Generally, fighting games (except for maybe Smash Brothers), are kind of created for two sorts of people-button mashers and people who basically don't play anything EXCEPT fighting games.

Most of these gamers don't spend a lot of time gaming, and even if they do, they are generally unfamiliar with said game.  Therefore, to compensate (or when panic sets in as they increasingly find themselves more and more out of their depth), they basically start flailing around and randomly trying things.  Generally, this gamer doesn't have much fun, and even if they do well, others don't really appreciate it because gaming is generally considered based on your skills, not just random chance.

The Serious Gamer

Appearance: Clothes often worn more than one day in a row.  Even when starving, will resort to eating with feet rather than set controller down in the middle of play.

Favorite Quote: "I don't PLAY.  I am a SERIOUS gamer."

This gamer is someone you've probably seen in multiplayer from time to time.  They're all business, give very few short commands (if any) and have generally clear objectives-to play the freaking game, thank you very much.  While others may exclaim in joy and excitement when something new is unlocked or someone does something really cool, this person is as quiet and calculating as a shark-a shark with THUMBS!  While generally not offensive, this gamer is dangerous if they're not on your side, and will avoid you like the plague if you fall into most of the other categories.

The Casual Gamer

Appearance: Usually either a younger sibling or a grandparent. Generally looks at gaming consoles as though a UFO has landed in the living room and attached itself to your TV.

Favorite Quote: "I like clicking on things!"

Most casual gamers don't even consider themselves gamers, per-se.  These are the people playing Farmville on Facebook or engaging in online poker tournaments and enjoying bouts of Bejeweled.  Most of the time, when they are in their element, they're impressive to watch.  But the downside is largely that WHAT they are doing is largely unimpressive.  Most of these games are very simplistic, require minimal gameplay interface and dispense inordinate amounts of rewards/points in relation to the time and energy spent playing.

The Social Gamer

Appearance: Usually, their personality is what shines most here to the point that physical appearance is pretty much negligible.  Hint: their tongue is usually made out of silver.

Favorite Quote: "Hey, let's get to know each other over frag-fests."

While often quite literate and fun to talk to under any circumstance (and their friend list is always at least twice as long as yours, much to your chagrin), these gamers tend to schmooze a little too much, and these jabber-jaws often bring gaming off topic.  Still, they are brilliant strategists if you're playing with friends, they tend to be great leaders as well.

The Cautious Gamer

Appearance: Nails are a bit ragged from biting.  Often presses pause enough to make you want to smack them in the head.

Favorite Quote: "Maybe if I just hang out here cutting grass for a little longer so I can level up.  After all, there's nothing safer than grass, right?  Right?"

These are the gamers that will spend forever fighting the lowest level enemies just to level up so they can beat the first boss without worrying about dying.  They ration their money like someone would in the real world, and generally do so much to avoid dying that often they forget the fun part of the game and focus on soul-sucking grind. This is especially problematic in most traditional RPGs because they practically expect this sort of behavior.  And even though you might not have to start over from the beginning if you get a game over (unlike certain games called Super Mario Land...), it is still annoying to have to start from a save spot and have to deal with re-doing everything you had already done before dying but after saving.

The Schrodinger's Gamer

Appearance: No one is really sure...

Favorite Quote: "..."

Schrodinger once hypothesized that technically, if you don't know if something is alive or dead, technically the being might possibly be BOTH AT THE SAME TIME until you can prove conclusively one way or the other.   Schrodinger's Gamers basically are the few, the rare and the undetectable.  They don't appear to be a "type" of gamer, nor do they appear to show outward signs of being into it.  And yet, when put to the test, such people take to gaming as though it is the most natural thing to them (and it may possibly be that they play, they just don't come across as being into games or having any knowledge whatsoever).  Technically, every person we meet who doesn't immediately pull out their Gears of War fanart book might fall into this category, but generally, in order to be considered this type of gamer, there generally needs to be a complete lack of any real "warning" about this person being knowledgeable or good at games.


So where do you fit on this list of gamer types? 

Do you feel that you fit multiple types based on what you are doing?

Inquiring minds want to know!


EDIT/Postscript: To all those posters who asked me what sort of gamer I am-I'd say I'm probably a cautious gamer, but not to a severe degree.  I'm not exactly an "elitist" gamer, but a lot of people at my work (who are hopelessly clueless about most technology, as well as games) often treat me as though I am some sort of gaming goddess who must obviously know about every single game ever in existence (not even close, dudes).  Mostly, they ask about what to get for their kids that is both safe and fun to play, though, so I am happy to make sure that their little son or daughter doesn't have to worry about the horror that is receiving nasty licensed movie games for birthdays and Christmas.  When I was much younger, I was more of a Schrodinger's Gamer, but largely only because of the fact that being a girl I was largely not expected or assumed to be into gaming whatsoever.  Whoever seems to think that only boys enjoy gaming or made this rule needs to get their head examined.  Seriously.