Shut Up And Take My Money #3: Special Mass Effect Edition - mnemosynekurai Blog - www.GameInformer.com
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Shut Up And Take My Money #3: Special Mass Effect Edition

If you've been following me on Twitter, you know that I'm currently playing through the Mass Effect series for the first time, and I'm OBSESSED. I'm on ME2, I'm playing as FemShep (named "Xeph," short for a misspelled version of "Zephyr"), and I'm romancing Garrus (and ONLY Garrus; my FemShep is monogamous).

Anyway, I have some totally amazing Mass Effect plans cooking in my brain, but I can't tell you about those yet. Until I can, enjoy perusing my favorite Mass Effect gear, both official and unofficial, from around the web.

ALSO: Please keep comments as spoiler-free as possible. I know sort of what happens in the end of ME2, but know almost nothing about ME3, and I would cry if I found anything out, including what happens to romance options. Thanks, y'all.

This FemShep t-shirt is incredible. I tend to not give official game merchandise stores the time of day because gear is usually logo-heavy and bland – but this shirt is gritty, original, and freaking cheap at a measly $15. The only thing I'd change is the color of the shirt itself. Gritty FemShep deserves to be showcased against an equally gritty background color.

HOLD THE PHONE. This is as it looks. It is an N7 baby onesie. I've never seen onesies called "creepers" before now, but that's neither here nor there. If you have a baby in your life, you need to ask yourself this very important question: What illicit things do you need to do to raise $14 plus shipping fees to make it so this baby will never have to live another day without an N7 onesie?

I know I've already answered that question for myself, and there's a lucky fetus somewhere in the world patiently waiting for his onesie from Auntie Ali (disclaimer: I am not actually the baby's aunt). And, you know, to be born.

This mix-and-match magnet set is one of those things you see and initially think, "This is literally the stupidest thing I have ever seen," but then you really think about it, and you realize, "This is literally the best thing I could possibly buy with $6." Admit it. You know I'm right.

I mean, there's even a Tali x Liara set. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

Look at this. LOOK WITH YOUR EYES. It's a freaking omni-tool, you guys. It's made out of Plexiglas and it's beautiful. Brb, cosplaying as FemShep with this on my arm.

I'm showcasing these bracelets because they're clues to what my super-awesome-but-also-super-secret Mass Effect-related surprise is. Also, because they're great. Buy both and wear whichever one you're feeling that day. Wake up feeling chipper? Put on the Paragon bracelet and help old ladies carry their groceries across the street. Wake up grumpy? Slap on the Renegade bracelet and finally do what you've always wanted to do: headbutt your annoying coworker. You know. The one in sales who wears a bow tie. You have to earn the right to wear a bow tie, man.

So, are you planning to buy any of this sweet merch? If not, share your favorite Mass Effect gear in the comments!

Remember, avoid spoilers out of respect for those who haven't played/finished the series yet.

Ali is a former Game Informer editorial intern and is currently a master's student at the University of Minnesota, where she studies games, virtual communities, manga, and other nerdy crap. Follow her on Twitter or Tumblr.

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