The lights are on
Veteran Member - Level 13
Maybe you've been there. Maybe you too, have had that moment. That moment when your squad is formed, and as you prepare for battle, you familiarize yourself with your new brothers-and-sisters-in-arms. JohnnyBuckshot, MichaelS, Freddie OSU13. And then your heart sinks.
xXx MoNkEyNuTtZz xXx
And you know right then, before a single shot is fired, that this is going to be the guy to grab the cleaver in Gears of War, run across the whole map, and then scream into your headset to come revive him. You know this is going to be the guy to take off with fully loaded chopper in Battlefield 3, and promptly barrel roll into a cliff, killing everyone. The guy sniping in Modern Warfare 3 as someone steals the flag 10 feet away from him. The one that runs off on his own in Left 4 Dead. In other words, THAT GUY.
We all have our pet peeves, and no doubt, for many of us they extend to the people we play games with. I've started analyzing my gamertag "red flags;" below are some of the offenders.
THE AVERAGE JOE - no red flags here, just your average everyday gamertag. Usually some variation of their real name, or favorite character. Something like BrianRay2234, or HunterOnLouis.
THE STICKY KEYS - that guy whose favorite handle is taken, so they spam the last character. CommanderSheparddddddd, I'm looking at you. At least they didn't just slap "69" at the end.
SOMETHING 69 - Because it was hilarious when everyone did it on AOL Instant Messenger. You know what they say, what's good for the AIM is good for the Xbox Live.
THE TOPICAL - The gamertag that won't be nearly as relevant or clever 5 year from now. #OccupyGotham, you need to be writing this down.
THE INTENTIONAL MISSPELLING - Oh look, KaptureFlagz is using Ks and Zs where they don't belong. This is what we get when a whole generation is raised on Koolaid and Bratz.
THE UNINTENTIONAL MISSPELLING - I don't know who you are, IMINYOUREBASE, but "you're" parents apparently failed you.
ThE CaMeLcAsE - BeCaUsE CaPiTaLiZiNg EvErY oThEr LeTtEr Is ThE aWeSoMe!!!!
And, that brings us to the number one offender...
THAT STUPID CRAP BEFORE AND AFTER YOUR GAMERTAG. A name like NicCage4Evar is great and all, but that oOo at the beginning and end really makes it pop. Now your name stands out on all the leaderboards you're not on, like the special snowflake you are.
But why stop there? Why not grab some duct tape and go all Dead Rising on these, and combine them like some kind of faux pas Voltron? Without that sort of creativity, we might not ever get to experience the soul-crushing endeavor of playing Capture the Flag with OccupyMyTainttttttt, or the helplessness of being paired up |/|YourMyBithc|\| as he drives a jeep into a wall over and over again.
I like to think there's a Venn diagram out there, showing all the ways these can overlap. And right in the middle, he stands alone, in all his glory - xXx TeEbAgYoUrEfAcEzzzzz69 xXx, stealing my Silverback and riding it into the middle of the map to promptly be destroyed, just like I knew he would.
(edit, 12/8:) I should probably disclaim here, that I'm not saying that doing any of these things immediately makes you a bad person, or a bad gamer. I *am* saying, that I've learned to brace for the worst, based on past experiences :)