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Member - Level 5
OK so I wanted to explain the concept of the Rupert Grint Cultural and
Societal Terrorism Warning Color Scale a little bit further before I do
any more updates. From the first post:
"The Rupert Grint Cultural and Societal Terrorism Warning Color Scale,
or RGCaSTWCS (pronounced "RG cast wicks") is a metric designed to
measure the current level of cultural decay in the United States."
I understand that probably raises more questions than it answers, so here is a handy-dandy FAQ.
The whole thing is a convoluted excuse for showing off certain news
stories that I find particularly interesting or odd, and giving my own
commentary on them. If the stories I pick for a certain update are
generally negative, the alert level rises. If they are generally
positive, it lowers.
Why Rupert Grint?
Why not Rupert Grint? I came across the image I use as the scale a few
years ago in some arcane corner of the internet, and realized it would
work perfectly as a warning system, because Grint's expression gets
progressively dire from right to left. Plus for some reason his gaunt,
perpetually worried visage is the perfect emblem of cultural decay. And
that's not to mention how totally dreeeeamy he is:
This is what Dav wishes he was.
How do you decide if a story is positive or negative, and therefore when to change the alert level?
Actually, I don't. The news stories I select are run through an
enormous vacuum-tube computer called GRINTVAC, as explained before. I
constructed GRINTVAC myself, using a mixture of my own derring-do and
secret government plans (mostly the secret government plans). It is the
size of a small house and weighs 27 tons, requiring constant
maintenance by an armada of IBM engineers kidnapped from the 1950s. The
algorithms it utilizes to determine changes in the threat level are
incomprehensible to mortal man, and are very probably satanic.
GRINTVAC's specific recommendations are printed out on ticker-tape and
reproduced at the end of each update.
If he doesn't fix that cathode, he doesn't ****ing eat.
What does GRINTVAC stand for?
Gauge for Ranking Intrinsic National Terror Values with Accurate
Colors. (That, or North American Man-Boy Love Association. I'm not sue.)
How often will you update?
Whenever the hell I feel like it, dad.
What's the deal with airline food?
I know! 12 bucks for a pack of peanuts and a wafer-thin "steak" monstrosity. Ridiculous.