I apologize in advance buddy.


After the death of Joker, all was quiet in Arkham City. The other criminals remained underground... hidden... biding their time. Bruce Wayne soon became bored perched high above the rooftops, wondering what those little green emblems were. "Hmm, question marks. They must not know what they are, either." Batman contemplated to himself.

"Alfie. Alfie?" Bruce commed. "What do you want you rich ***?! I'm watching Lost! This better be important!" Alfred roared in response. He was either senile or going through manopause. Take your pick.

"I just wanted someone to talk to. You are my only friend... the only one that knows my secret identity." 

"You can't be serious! Everyone knows, people just like pointing and laughing behind your back when your tights ride up your backside."

"Well... I need some time off. Nothing is happening. Vacation?"

"Who will watch over Arkham you ignoramous?"

"Go through the members of my fan club, and find which one has a Batman costume."

Alfred did as he was told because he was being paid, and a single name matched the criteria. Codename: Le Hannibal.

Several days later when alfred was released from the hospital from an acute case of 'old man stink' Hannibal was invited to Arkham. A tour, led by his idol. Upon meeting, the fledgling superhero could hardly contain himself. In fact, he couldn't, as urine ran down his leg. "Wow! Batman, in the flesh! You're the bees knees! Tippity top!" Hannibal rambled.

Bruce was a bit surprised that Hannibal had worn his Batman costume, but whatever rocked his casbah...

"Consider this tour as training. I have a very important mission in Jamaica, and I need you to keep watch over Arkham. You up for it?" Wayne inquired. "R-r-really? Sure, whatever you need!" Hannibal eagerly accepted... like a schoolgirl meeting Justin Beiber.

The tour commenced without incident. Batman showed his disciple the ropes, city landmarks, famous battle locations, and finally, how to use the batgadgets. Then, without a second thought, and a few buttons of the wrist, the Batwing appeared, taking the genuine hero to his important "mission" and leaving Hannibal stranded on a rooftop. 

He used the grappler thing to try to put himself in a position to overlook the city. Hannibal was still learning though, and mistakenly crashed through the window of an apartment building. 

"Would you like some tea?" An awkward voice followed the sounds of glass breaking. It was the Mad Hatters apartment, complete with the long table and random people with bunny masks. "N-no thank you." Hannibal stuttered, making his way back out of the window in his batsuit.

After a few days, the gadgets became easier to use, and Hannibal was on the top of the city, just as his mentor was so many times before. These days were filled with boredom though, so then the doors of the toy building burst open, Hannibal quickly 'flew' to investigate.

The sound of the doors could be heard throughout Arkham, drawing the guards' attention as well. When Hannibal arrived, they were being pummeled by Bane. It looked like he had finally gotten himself free from Batmans little trap, and was none too pleased. Bane was in a rage, swatting the guards away like annoying little flies.

"Finally..." Hannibal thought to himself. "A chance to prove myself." He swooped down from his perch and readied one of those fancy glide kicks. Bane saw the imposter coming though. "You aren't the Bat I wish to kill!" Bane immediately noticed the fake (probably due to the lack of muscle mass). 

Hannibal was swatted aside just as Arkhams no-name guards before him. He was sent hurtling through the air and into the wall of the GCPD building, straight through, with no Explosive Gel required.

Bane continued to demolish guard after guard while Hannibal struggled to regain himself. And he did so, pulling himself to his feet just in time to see Bane finish off the last guard. The monster turned towards the Arkham entrance with the obvious intention of breaking his way through.

For all that was good and right and all of that gibberish, Hannibal had to stop him. With the quickest of reflexes, Hannibal threw a trusty Batarang. He got extremely lucky, as it spun through the hoses that fed Bane his venom. 

The monster slumped over and groaned in anger. Within seconds Bane was literally a fraction of his former self. The venom was plastered on the ground, causing a sigh of relief to escape Hannibal. 

With Hannibal's guard let down, something rather not good occured. A tiny spider happened to walk across the ground where the venom had settled. Almost as fast as Bane shrunk, the black widow spider grew. Nearly instantly, the fake Batman stood in horror before a towering arachnid. 

Now, what Bruce Wayne didn't know when he handed over the reigns was that Hannibal was deathly afraid of spiders. Why? When he was a child, he dreamed of being impaled by a giant spider through his head, and flicked away like old chewing gum. How could he possibly handle a giant reincarnation of his worst fear?

He couldn't. He stood there motionless while the eight-legged fiend stalked its prey. Just when all hope seemed lost, the spider roared in pain. One of its legs was gashed and spewing green venom. Hannibal snapped out of his trance to notice a Batclaw pertruding from the injured leg. The connecting wire became taut and the spider fell to the ground.

"It's alright. You are free of duty." A deep brooding voice said from behind Hannibal. Batman had returned and was making his way to the downed creepy crawly. "Leave." The ungrateful hero monotoned. The Batwing appeared overhead, prompting another monotone "Now" from the caped crusader.

Hannibal did as he was told and boarded the jet. The hatched closed late enough for him to see his hero disposing of the monumental mistake he had caused.

Thus ended a young mans adventure as his hero. 


-Sorry buddy. Let's go get ice cream after this.