We all know the basic story of the Assassin's Creed series: the seemingly never-ending conflict between the Assassins and the Templars for control of the world through some kind of metaphysical means, a motive I'm sure is as wholesome as Apple pie. Ezio Auditore is a man driven by what the Templars did to his family, and then by what he now knows they are doing to the world. He has spent his entire life fighting against their evil.

But that's not what motivates my Ezio, the one I'm playing right now in Assassin's Creed: Revelations.

Ok, I should say that's not his primary motivation. It's not even his secondary one, which is allowing me to finish his story and work toward 1000 Gamerscore.

No, when I play him, he has a vastly different motivation than perhaps he does for any of you.

What really drives my Ezio is sparkly things.

(Thanks to My Cheats)

It never fails, no matter whether he's just wandering around the city, moving directly from one point to another, or even in a story mission! That telltale sparkle coming either from one of the myriad chests sitting undisturbed around Constantinople (Why did it get the works? That's nobody's business but the Turks). That glisten shining into the sky from rooftops or high towers, beckoning poor Ezio to climb up and grab it. He simply can't resist its siren call.

What if Ezio is in the middle of chasing a target through the streets? If he spots a chest against the wall, his eye will inevitably go to it. He wants so desperately to stop and open the chest, but his honour is enough that he will not forego the mission in order to see what sparkly (or explosive) goodness is in the chest. Besides, he knows that it's very possible that if he loses the target, that chest will be there next time he has to chase the target as well*, infinitely drawing him like a moth to a flame. So he keeps going.

But it's so tempting.

However, if the mission just requires him to go to a certain point? He's on that chest like a mouse on cheese. Chests, even unpurchased shops!  If it's there, it's shiny, and he's not in a hurry, he'll stop and take care of business.

That's just how he rolls.

Maybe he's walking across the city, heading home so he can lie back with an Altair memory or a good book (he's a big DaVinci Code fan). On his way through the crowded streets, he spots a glimmer on a rooftop. His desire for rest and a trashy book is still there, but he must start climbing! He has to get up on that roof and open the chest or grab that data fragment. It's a compulsion. He'll go through multiple guards to get to one of those things. Maybe you're Yusuf Tazim and you have a meeting scheduled with Ezio at the docks? Who was that nicely dressed assassin that ran right by you without even acknowledging you? Yep, that's Ezio, who just saw a chest or shop or something down the street that he had to check out (Ezio doesn't seem to care that you've been waiting on that dock for him for three days...there's a chest to open!)

(Thanks to the Assassin's Creed Wiki)

It's actually really sad, this addiction to glitter that my Ezio has. Other assassins in the HQ have tried to do an intervention, but Ezio didn't make the meeting.

He saw a manuscript page on the roof of the building they had directed him too.


* I can't remember if the system recognizes opened chests and stuff if done within a memory that has to be restarted


On a side note, I tweeted this hilarious bug I ran into last night. I jumped off of a wall and into a corner, and Ezio just seemed determined to try and go through the wall. It never worked, though.