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When traveling around the world meeting with famous people you learn some interesting things. For example, The Mushroom Kingdom is only 110 kilometers from China. So after I left Peach’s Castle it was only natural that I explore China, the world’s most populous country. Once there I was more lost and confused than Alice in Wonderland, but after three days I finally tracked down the First Lady of fighting games herself, the fabulous Chun-Li.
Me: I can’t read anything. I can’t understand anyone. I can’t speak the language, and I REALLY hope she is here.
Random Girl: Harmon-san!
Me: Ni Hao! … Please tell me you speak English because that is all the Chinese I know.
Random Girl: Hehe! You’re funny Harmon-san. My name is Kimiko. I do speak English along with four other languages. Sensei sent me to find you. She was worried you got lost.
Me: Thank you Jesus!! Well Kimiko, thank you for finding me.
Kimiko: No problem. I’m originally from Japan so it wasn’t hard to spot an outsider like yourself.
Me: Oh, I bet it wasn’t.
Chun-Li: Good job Kimiko! You’ve found him.
Me: I’m glad you sent her. I was beginning to think I would never meet you.
Chun-Li: Please follow me this way to the dojo. We can talk there and I can change into some more appropriate clothing.
Me: Lead the way.
Chun-Li: Alright! Since you’ve been lost this whole time I figured I’d show you around as we walk and talk.
Me: Bet! I must say Chun-Li, you have a very warming personality and you look very beautiful today.
Chun-Li: Really?!? Well thank you. Ah…let’s go!
Me: *hmm who would have guess she was super shy as well. *
Chun-Li: So, what would you like to know?
Me: Well, how does it feel to be the First Lady of fighting games? I mean female fighters are very common, but you lead the way.
Chun-Li: I’m honored. It’s one of the things I treasure the most when I wake up in the morning. When Capcom was putting the whole gang together for Street Fighter II, they asked me if I would participate, but I initially declined. After some thought, I figured why not? I can compete with the guys. My father did not raise me to be passive.
Me: I’m glad you hold so much pride in that title. Since you mentioned your father, what was it like when you lost him to Vega? Well, M. Bison as he is known in the states.
Chun-Li: Well…, to say the least, it was a very difficult time for me. Rage…, hate… , vengeance? Those words don’t begin to describe it. I have never once felt like a frail little girl until that day. Imagine a little girl scared of demons and the shadows of night who runs for her daddy, only to find a man with a demonic smile intoxicated from the despair. Still, I mustered up my feelings and put them into my skills. My mastery of all Chinese Kempo taught me how to deal with my emotions and put them into my fits and belief, instead of falling into darkness.
Me: Like Ryu?
Chun-Li: Well ahhhh, that’s a low blow, but YES! Exactly like him. He really needs to stop crying all the time. Ohh…, please don’t tell him I said that.
Me: I promise nothing!
Chun-Li: Oh! He is going to absolutely hate me!! Well anyway, after his defeat I did find some peace in my heart, but before we even faced him I had calmed the storm inside of me and was able to achieve an even greater level in my martial arts. This is the main reason why I came back to the police force and starting teaching the young ones.
Me: Well I’m very glad it made you stronger. I wanted to ask, since your debut there have been many female fighters out there, and to put it bluntly, a lot of them look more like a porn model than a fighter. How do you feel about that?
Chun-Li: I’m very glad you asked that because I’m very appalled at what some females fighters are willing to do or wear to be in video games today. I won’t name any names, but a dear friend of mine, I met her during the making of Marvel vs. Capcom 3, is one of those ladies in which you are referring. I asked her why she dressed the way she did and she replied, “Girl this is more than a costume. This is a representation of my culture. If any man, woman, or child shall find me too sexy to fight back, then their death will at least be a pleasant one.” That gave me a unique feeling. I didn’t agree with her clothing choice, but I respected completely. With that said, there are several of my young female fighters who are willing to fight in thongs and the silliest of things just to get in a game, and there is zero excuse for that!
Me: I agree and personally I think your fighting outfit is appropriate, while also making you look gorgeous and… WATCH OUT FOR THAT CAR!
Chun-Li: -blushing as she unknowingly walks into a busty interception- OH! AYYYYYYYYYYYY!
Me: Damn! Are you ok?!?
Man: Yea …, but I think my car is done for!
Chun-Li: Sorry my lighting legs seem to have gotten stronger than I thought. I promise I held back.
Man: Forget about it.
Me: Well, sorry again. I didn’t mean to get distracting you with compliments.
Chun-Li: Distraction?!? No your words didn’t distract me! I’m a girl. I mean a woman, who doesn’t go for that stuff and…
Me: Anyway! So you just completely destroyed a car with your feet. I mean, you’re famous for your kick, what in the world do you do to train? You can literally fly when you spin your legs with your spinning bird kick. Those thunder thighs are amazing.
Chun-Li: Thunder thighs? That’s cute. I’m usually very self conscious about them, but as far as my training goes, that’s a secret!
Me: I understand, and look, I’m sorry for all my comments here and there. I know that was unprofessional and if I offended you in any way…
Chun-Li: Shhh! You’re the one starting to blush. I wasn’t aware someone of your complexion could, but look; it’s the best restaurant in town. How about we stop our talk and enjoy each other’s company?
Me: Like a date?
Chun-Li: Hehe, sure.
That was my entertaining walk with Chun-Li. It was fun getting to talk to my favorite fighting video game character. She is truly a woman of many talents and that’s all I can say about that. Well, my journeys around the world continue! Should I go track down a rare prime ape in the Amazon jungles, or visit NASA for a trip to the Lylat System next week? You decide.
O’Dell is a former Game Informer editorial intern and is doing what it takes to make it in life. Part-time bar tender and full time Pokémon Master from Houston, TX with a degree from Texas A&M. Follow him on Twitter. He is a beast. Also special shout out to my Grammar Nazi America Montemayor!