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If you ever wanted to talk to your favorite video game idols, but never had the time you’re in luck. For those who don’t know I have been busy meeting and greeting with the people who make the industry – the characters. Last time me and the world famous hedgehog stopped for lunch and had a wonderful discussion on the price of fame. This week I found myself wandering around the Mushroom Kingdom where I was suddenly summoned to the castle for a very special one on one with Princess Toadstool.
Me: Hmm this place is fancy! I wished I was better dressed.
Butler Toad: No problem Mr. Harmon we have your costumed tailored suit right here.
Me: Well … Thank you good sir.
Princess Peach: You may come in now, How are you doing?
Me: I’m peachy!
Princess Peach: Hehe and I’m already annoyed.
Princess Peach: Oh calm down! Just because I rule and govern a kingdom does not mean I cannot appreciate a good joke. I am peachy as well, Princess Peachy to be exact.
Me: Wow! You are really down to earth. I must admit when you summoned me here I was a little nervous.
Princess Peach: Sorry about that. I heard through the royal grapevine you were interviewing my fellow collogues, so before you approached anyone else in the Mushroom Kingdom I wanted to have my own personalized interview.
Me: That’s cool with me. I got a nice new suit out of it! Well Princess Peach I must let you know I will not give you any special treatment. I will ask you the tough questions, but first what is it like “running” the kingdom?
Princess Peach: Well thank you sir, but please ask anything I have nothing to hide. As far as my kingdom goes believe it or not I do RUN it. The Toads are a kind and nurturing people, but they are far from self sustaining. I am the post master, chief surgeon, judge and jury, sports commissioner, head chef, and of course Princess of the land. My daily duties are filled with making sure everyone is doing their job along with holding monthly conferences with our neighboring seven kingdoms. As the rappers would say I am one bad broad. Also you can just call me Peach.
Me: Well excuse me Miss Peach. I must say that is very impressive indeed, yet that does raise the question. For someone as independent as yourself, why are you always playing the damsel in distress? You have built quite the reputation.
Peach: It’s funny you worded your question that way because I am indeed “playing” the damsel in distress.
Me: Oh? Care to elaborate?
Peach: Yes. While the plumber was too busy trying to save Daisy, who is far from a real person of royalty, from DK’s grandfather. All of the kingdoms were at war. Bowser was the least of our troubles; the whole world system was on the brink of destruction. I took it upon myself the get a battalion of Toads and travel to all the kingdoms to make peace. On my travels Bowser started to conquer all the kingdoms one by one, which made it easier for the other rulers to join my crusade for peace. I formed an embassy in all of the other castles, but by the time I made it to world 8 the others had succumb the Bower’s tyranny.
Me: Peach let me be the first to say you are a saint among Toads.
Peach: Thank you, but it was for my people and my kingdom. So as the plumber’s house got destroyed and the kingdom fell. It was Luigi who convinced him to start the journey to save me and defeat Bowser. He did manage to defeat Bowser, but it wasn’t the Koopa King’s defeat that made him withdraw his armies, it was a deal I made with him.
Me: I’m sure you saw this coming, but why do you keep referring to Mario as the plumber and what exactly was this deal …
Peach: Mario is a plumber! There was a time where I truly did love him, but now we just put on a show for the cameras and games. I don’t care to discuss the details of that situation, but I can tell you the sacrifice I originally made to save us all was my body. I agreed to be the vessel for Bowser’s offspring. I was two give him an heir, as well be the segregate mother for the Koopalings. I carried this weight in secret and when I told the man I once loved I was treated worse than a Koopa without a shell. I am no longer ashamed.
Me: I don’t know what to say …
Peach: Oh no are you ok?
Me: I’m good, I’m good. Well Peach I think that’s all for now I believe this was a good look at the real you. I don’t think I can continue right now.
Peach: Hehe silly. How about this, would you like to go bake a cake?
In case anyone was wondering that cake was delicious! Well that was my unexpectedly emotional interview with the lovely Princess Peach. She is a socialite who is sophisticated, super, and sweet. So next week guys I will have more interviews for you, I head to China to talk to my favorite female police officer.
O’Dell is a former Game Informer editorial intern and is doing what it takes to make it in life. Part-time bar tender and full time Pokémon Master from Houston, TX with a degree from Texas A&M. Follow him on Twitter. He is a beast.