The lights are on
The following is a transcript of a phone conversation I had with my future self from 2025. I have excised the portions before we start talking about video games.
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Self: What do you mean “get a vasectomy?” Whatever. Oh, hey, tell me what video games are like in the future?
Future Self: Sure. I guess I used to play those all the time.
Self: “Used to?”
FS: Well...you're not going to like this next part.
Self: Oh, God....
FS: Yeah...It should be just before the s**t storm in your time. The whole motion control thing really takes off. So does 3D-at-home.
Self: I guess I'm okay with that. Do they ever come out with a way to avoid those bulky glasses?
FS: Yep. Brain implant. They're mandatory now. You lose a few things in the process, though.
Self: Like my house? Those must be really expensive.
FS: More like the ability to see in three dimensions in the real world. The only way to see things in three dimensions now is to watch Supervision or play video games.
Self: Oh, my God. That must be terri...wait...”Supervision?”
FS: Riiiight. After HD, there was MegaDefinition. Then came Supervision. It looks great on my 10” Supervision panel.
Self: 10 inches? I have a 37” HDTV, right now. Are all TVs small in the future?
FS: Nah. The bigger ones just cost a lot. When I was at my job at Wal-Mart, I looked at them. A 25” inch costs a million pesos.
Self: Pesos?! Wal-Mart?!
FS: Oh, sorry. Wal-Mart bought America in 2018. Everyone works for them. It's kind of boring, but at least we all have health care now. I just want them to bring our troops home.
Self: Iraq, still?
FS: Nah, Target.
Self: Of course. And the pesos?
FS: Well, Wal-Mart already owned Mexico. So they just switched over currency to make it easier when they took over America. Plus, the dollar was only worth a third of a peso...
Self: The future is scary...
FS: I shouldn't be talking to you about this kind of stuff. Space-Time Continuum, and all. You were asking about video games...
Self: Right. Does Nintendo ever release an HD Wii?
FS: Nah. They jumped straight into 3D. The Virtual Boii is alright...It sold more than any other system ever. Nobody plays it though. Not since Japan went black...
Self: What?
FS: Well, you know how the Japanese are crazy about their dating sims. Once 3D and motion control merged, they just stopped leaving home. After a while...they just stopped everything.
Self: Wow. Just “wow.”
FS: I've got to go. The kids are starting to run into walls, again. God, I miss depth perception.
Self: Kids?!
FS: I swear, all you care about is video games. I already went over this: You don't have a choice. Wal-Mart needs more troops. Anyway...Hail Sam! <hangs up>
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So, after crying for about an hour, I used babelfish to translate my future self's Spanish into English and posted it here. I hope we all can learn something from this...
OMG this is so funny! The war with Target must be waged for the good of human kind!
hilarious!
I love that song (the future freaks me out dum-dum dah), and doesn't the babelfish work during a conversation?
I stole the title from a Motion City Soundtrack song that's been stuck in my head all day. And to answer your question, I phonetically wrote the conversation down as I was talking to...er...me. Then I later translated it. Don't try to make logic out of that statement...roll with it. ;)
doesn't it affect what you hear though? how can you go off of sight? Also, I knew it was a MCS song, and I loved the reference, now where did I put my iPod?
thanks!I totally found it
@Smashter
You don't want to hear what I told me about Europe.
you're Europe!!!! wait... no
Lols
Good stuff
Japan went black and never went back.
@DuckReconMajor
I debated using that. Nice catch.
I loved this, great blog. I was hoping for more of future like Matrix, I was going to side with the robots and be willing to be put into the Matrix from the start, I am fine with being a robots battery as long as I can have some cool things I can do, like fly and have a castle.
How the *** did you get on the blog herding when you throw out *** like this?
TJ: I am glad that you posted this. Without innovation and genuity such as this, life would be boring. Might as well throw out videogames while we are at it.