First Commander's Log:

Ran into Deanna today. She was looking real swell, but I think she tried to read my emotions. I threatened to have her fired off the ship. I thought I hid the euphemism well, but apparently she caught on to it. The ship is what I call my genitals (penis and testicles).  Then I ran into Dr. Crusher. I told her I had come down with a rare case of Boner-itis, and I had a crusher on her. She told me she had a treatment and winked. I woke up 4 hours later outside Sick Bay. I'm not sure what happened, but I'll count that as a home run. Wink wink, you know what I mean. I mean I had relations with Dr. Crusher. 

As I was walking back to my room I saw this beautiful lady. I asked her if she wanted to see The Ship's Photon Torpedos. Turns out it was Wesley Crusher, the little girly man who sits in the bridge sometimes. Needless to say I was embarrassed.  


Then I went to the Holodeck for a few hours. Now I'm back in my quarters. All in all a successful day.