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I have a bunch of stuff to be doing, such as teaser trailers, and the like, so here's a TOP 10 list while you're waiting for my certain special "SOMEONE IS COMING" guy to finally come. I have a bunch of Top 10 lists I'm trying to do such as a Top 10 Road Trip movies of all time (As recommended by STRAFE) a Top 10 Twilight Zone Episodes of all time, a Top 10 Top 10 lists of all time, and I'm busy with a bunch of other stuff such as making ominous teasers to things I never live up to my promise on, and just having a life, but after getting a Netflix account and watching about every single horror movie that I love in a full marathon, I decided to make this list.
Death has pretty much become a staple in modern movies. It could be with watching death, death and fate, some random thematic plot device that has to do with death, or just watching the deaths of stupid teenagers for mere pleasure.
Whether it be horror, drama, action, or hell even a comedy, it's pretty d*mn hard to escape the fact that everybody dies...except Bruce Campbell and the Chin of Destiny BUT that's besides the point >_>
So we look at probably the most entertaining, creative, and mind-blowing ways we could witness death. So without further ado, the Top 10 Death sequences of all time (And no, torture sequences don't count, fans of Saw and Hostel).
#10: UNDERWATER!! From Friday The 13th
Okay, so it isn't a spoiler that everybody dies in a Friday the 13th film, or any slasher for that matter. But what Friday the 13th's ending deserves a spot on this list because nobody saw it coming, and despite the fact that this scene has no gore, it was still able to make yourself shat your pants.
Here we have finally realized (Pretty sure that EVERYBODY's had this one spoiled) that the killer was actually Jason's mom, and the main girl was able to survive through the bloody ordeal. Having gone through a traumatizing experience, she decides to rest on a boat in Crystal Lake until the cops arrive. The cops are closeby, she's about to be escorted, we're having a happy, happy ending and then BAM!!
She is pulled down to her watery grave before she can even do so much as yell for help. Nobody saw it coming, we all thought that we'd actually have a happy ending for once, and the little mongrel kid Jason just pops up and there goes your lunch.
...okay, so she didn't die, I haven't seen this one in a long while, but this was certainly much much better than most of the other deaths in the series. And for a second we all thought she did die.
#9: Ding! Dong! The B*tch Is Dead! from House of Wax remake
Don't just sit there and scoff at me when I say this: We all want to see Paris Hilton just die. Some can call me immoral. Some can call me a potential serial killer. But, cmon, what excuse does Paris Hilton have for living? She just takes up space, air, and money that could've easily been given to poor children in Nigeria. Thankfully, you don't have to fantasize about such a thing, the terrible remake of House of Wax was able to fulfill said desire for wanting to see Paris Hilton dead, and boy was it a way to die. Having a pole sticking out of your mouth is the ultimate death for Paris Hilton (*Wink* *Wink* *Ba-dum-tsssh* *Insert Phallic Joke Here*). Hell, there were even theaters handing out "I Saw Paris Hilton Die" buttons at the exits.
Obvious cleavage shot is obvious.
#8: NEVER TOO FAMOUS TO STOP AND CURB STOMP YA from American History X
Edward Norton as a neo-nazi wearing a swatstika tattoo on his chest. That sentence alone isn't able to describe some of the crazy stuff in this movie. Desptie all that, not a single moment alone can compare to when Norton meets some African Americans and decides to curb stomp them to hell...GEARS OF WAR 2 STYLE!
#7: THE WHOLE FREAKING MOVIE from Final Destination 2
I have a love-hate relationship with the Final Destination series. I hate the preachy conversations about Oedipal fate, the terrible acting (Except for the third one), and the idiotic unlikeable characters (Again, except the third one), but it's hard to hate a movie series that features teenagers and adults alike getting killed in the most elaborate and mind-blowing ways possible. While the first movie came to introduce us to the unique premise about teenagers who cheat their fate with a premonition and get killed subsequently by "accidents" handled by Father Death himself, but Final Destination 2 was the first to really milk on the premise, and give us some hilarious, mind-blowing, and astoundingly elaborate deaths. From the extremely epic car-collision in the beginning, to the sheet of glass, to the barb-wire fence, almost every single killing was savored and memorable.
#6: SMOOSH!! from Scream
Me being the hardcore horror fan that I am, to me, Scream is to me what a fix of heroin is to a junkie. Every slasher cliche in the book is mocked here, and makes the movie fresh, funny, and ultimately, more scary as Wes Craven begins to use them all against you.
I was gonna put the extended prologue with Drew Barrymore in this list, but then I remembered another epic death scene that was actually elaborate enough to be in a Final Destination movie.
In this scene, one of the unfortunate big breasted blondes goes to the garage to get a beer, and, oddly enough, the garage door has a tiny little cat door on it as well. She sees a guy in a creepy mask, and she believes it to be her boyfriend playing a trick on her. After getting stabbed in the shoulder and getting assaulted later, that belief melts away. She tries escaping by crawling through the pet-door, but she ends up getting stuck and can't get out. Our killer, instead of being boring and using this as an opportunity to just merely stab her, decides to rather push the open-garage-door button on the wall, and watch as her face is squished by the sheer force of her being lifted into a giant metal bar on the ceiling.
As the killer says: "Movies don't turn people in to psychos. The movies just help psychos get more creative"
#5: Wingardium Leviosa! from A Nightmare on Elm Street
Out of the quad-group of original slashers (Halloween, Friday the 13th, Texas Chainsaw Massacre and A Nightmare on Elm Street), A Nightmare on Elm Street is my favorite. Yes, I love it more than Halloween, shut up. Oh, that, and the remake is gonna suck. Halloween was incredibly suspenseful, but it was low on blood and gore. Friday the 13th addressed that by pouring the entire movie in blood, but it didn't reach the high suspense as Halloween. Then Wes Craven decides to masterfully balance the suspense and gore of both films and infuses it with one of the most intelligent premises of all time, and you get A NIghtmare on Elm Street.
One of the most memorable deaths of the frightening Freddy Krueger, is surprisingly the first one we see. We think that Tina is being chased by Freddy outside her house, but it's okay because it's all a dream, right? Wrong! Whatever Freddy does to you in your dreams, he does to you in real life, simultaneously. So now you see Tina screaming on her bed, then she's just flying and levitating on the ceiling, blood is pouring from her skin, and then she just plops back down dead.
It's that rare death that is able to show you gore, but also leave it up to the viewer's imagination as to what Freddy was actually doing to her in her dreams. *Shivers*
#4: There Goes My Lunch! from Alien
In space, no one can hear you scream. Also, in space, no one can hear that parasitic alien writhing in your stomach, until it finally bursts out like a baby that has claws for hands...except it's not a baby. IT'S A MOTHERF**KING ALIEN! Poor *I forgot this guy's name* was face-hugged to unconsciousness, and when he's finally feeling better, eating lunch with the crew, his stomach hurts. The next thing you know, he's twitching, blood and meat is popping from his belly, and a weird creature is popping out of his stomach eyeballing everyone.
Also, I just had to include this joke:
#3: CHOMP! from The Thing
What if that harmless roomate of yours that's standing right next to you, reading this blog with you, is actually AN ALIEN!! GASP!! OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!! Okay, that's not really the kind of thing that would happen in real life, but if it were, you'd be really freaked out right now--OH MY GOD HE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU HE'S GONNA GET YA!!...*Phew* That was a close one. That tension is what elevates The Thing from the original 50's The Thing from Another World that it remade.
In this scene, we thought that this poor fat guy whose name escapes me for some reason despite the fact that I saw this a million times and I could've looked it up on Google but I chose not to cause I'm lazy *ahem* was attacked and hurt and ready to die. The doctor tries to revive him by performing CPR but all of a sudden...
The body turns into this insanely disturbing bast*rd after opening the guy's stomach into a mouth and chomping the doctor's arms off! What's even worse is that they try decapitating the thing, but it ends up turning into something even more creepy...
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna stop sleeping.
#2: D*MN YOU JACK SPARROW from A Nightmare On Elm Street
I know, I know, if you haven't noticed yet, I've probably got a ginormous stiffy for Wes Craven right now as I'm writing this blog. Also, A FUN FACT: did you know that before Johnny Depp wowed everyone in Pirates of the Carribean as Jack Sparrow, he was one of Freddy Krueger's first victims in the original Nightmare? Unfortunately, not many people know this, because his death scene is probably the best out of any slasher movie period! Good ole, Jack Sparrow was specifically told not to fall asleep, but on his bed, listening to his CD player, he falls asleep anyway. As this happens, Captain Jack is sucked into a void in his bed (!) and what comes out is...
Just try to pick your jaw off the floor while watching this scene. I dare you!
So what could #1 be, after such a great one for #2? The answer will surprise you.
#1: Slice 'em & Dice 'em from Cube
Probably the most criminally underrated movie of our time is Cube. This 1996 Canadian indie, is seriously so suspenseful and shocking, that I hate how barely anybody has seen it. It's basically about a group of strangers trapped inside a Cube filled with Saw-esque booby traps, and how they simply have to find a way out. Tensions are raised, characters who you thought were good guys grip into insanity, and you're left asking, "Who made this god-d*mn Cube? What is its purpose? And why us?"
Now where do death scenes come into this? ...MUAHAHAHAHAHAAA
It's rare for a movie to have a death scene so unique, gory, and just flat-out jaw-dropping, but to have it in the first five minutes truly leaves an impact. A man wakes up in the aforementioned Cube, walks into the next room and...
I can't spoil it for you. I can't post any pictures or videos because it's pretty graphic, and I just can't spoil it for you. But let's just say that this man trapped in a Cube turns into lots of little itty-bitty cubes...
That's all for now, if you have an awesome idea for a Top 10 list, gimme a PM about it.
This is Enigma, and--ooohh look a shiny ominous object...I'll be right back!
From the rules of "Scream" in slasher fiction: Never say "I'll be right back"...because you won't be...MUAHAHAHAHAAA!!