Why CoD is the Greatest Effing Franchise of All Time

By xXk1llzw1thsk1llzXx

So in case you haven't heard, Call of Duty is the single greatest gaming series ever.  Nothing else in existence even compares to it. Other games cower in fear of the immense swagger that CoD has. You like Mario? F*** that noise. CoD shoots Mario in the head. Skyrim? Only people with no life play that crap. These other inferior games don't know the king when they see him. Because its motherf****n' CoD, bro.


So why is CoD the greatest series ever? First of all, it has a kickass campaign, filled with epic kills and general badassery. The stories are *** awesome, and there are enough explosions to measure up to those awesome Transformers movies. There are so many guns that your head will spin trying to comprehend the amount of win. Nothing else compares to the badassery of the good guys. And the bad guys? F*** 'em. They be dropping like the chicks' pants when they see me walk on by. Girls know a real man when they see one. Because true bros play Cod.


But the best thing ever in this series is the multiplayer, which is easily better than all those rip-offs. It's just so damn amazing. The maps are freakin' amazing, and there are even more guns! There are so many guns, you could start another world war with 'em. But they do that in the campaign, so it's all cool. The better you are, the more kills you can get. The more kills you get, the cooler the stuff you get, like new weapon skins and other stuff to show off your skills. And when that KDR hits that magic number, you become a god. When they see that gold weapon, they know  that that guy has swag. And even better, when you finally hit prestige. People know to look out, 'cause there's a badass over here. By this point, you're having to beat the girls off with a stick. The swag is like a giant magnet for them. They just go to it.


But by far the best thing in the greatest series ever, are the zombies. Call of Duty motherf****n' invented the zombie. Zombies are so popular, that you see them everywhere. Tons of modern games have stolen the zombie idea. They just puts new skin on, and change the name to something stupid, like horde mode or Resident Evil. All of these ripoffs are nothing compared to the original: the nazi zombie. The feeling when you shoot the undead bastards in the face it like nothing else. It takes real skill to survive the endless waves of the zombies. This is what separates the ladies from the men, the weak from the strong, the wimpy and the *** badass. Get to wave 25, or GTFO, noob.


So in short, go play CoD. It’s awesome, and it’ll make a man out of you, if you have the balls to make it that far. This game deserves every award ever for being so damn awesome. If you haven’t already, go and get the f****ng thing already. It’ll take your virginity and throw it around like a basketball it’s so awesome. All I can say is, if Black Ops 2 doesn’t win every game of the year award out there, then I’ll burn your freakin’ offices down. Especially you, GI. Modern Warfare 3 deserved an 11, not a 9. Get your heads out of your asses, and review it LIKE A TRUE BRO. This is xXk1llzw1thsk1llzXx, and you have just been bro-ed in.


Author's Note: Please note that this is a parody blog. All the views, opinions and words written in this are not my opinion. The purpose of this is to entertain. So please, take everything in this with a grain of salt. And all words written like "****" were written like that, and are meant to be shown like that. Please note: that is a random picture of a random dude.