You know what's fun? Following an Uwe Boll movie with Doom, and then following Doom with another Uwe Boll movie. I hope you all appreciate the brain cells I've sacrificed to bring you this!

I'm not sure what to say about BloodRayne that I didn't already say about Alone In The Dark. Boll has this strange talent for making action scenes seem really dull. They're not edited tightly enough, and always go on too long. And he fills his movies to the brim with them, because he loves action scenes.

This time around he decides to up the ante and also make the action really gory, which ends up coming off kind of campy due to the poor editing and stiff acting from the extras. Gory, campy, boring action scenes.

The highlights of the film are the casting of Michael Madsen -- who can make even the silliest lines sound somehow dignified -- and Meat Loaf, who plays a complete nut.

Michelle Rodriguez from Resident Evil is also in the cast, continuing the theme of Boll studying Paul WS Anderson movies. Similarly, lead actress Kristanna Loken plays such a Milla Jovovich-esque character, I'm convinced Boll instructed her to research for her role by watching Resident Evil movies.



From a storytelling standpoint, the biggest issue was the creative decision to show Rayne having suddenly escaped without explanation and clearly upset about something, thoroughly confusing us before flashing back to her escape. And then occasionally cutting to present time to show us her being upset. It's then not revealed to us until several scenes later that the reason she was so upset is because she bit someone who'd previously been kind to her, before she realized who it was.

Apparently Boll thought having the events play out in this order would increase the dramatic tension, when in reality it was just confusing. Like Resident Evil. In fact, Boll probably got the idea to attempt this after yet another viewing of Resident Evil.

And yet despite Boll's many failings, there's this one scene about thirty minutes in where Rayne steals a relic from a booby trapped room, and it has a more of a Tomb Raider vibe to it than scene in the actual Tomb Raider movies. So I've gotta give him that. He did alright there, for one brief scene.

But then he directs the final climatic battle of the movie in the style of an '80s music video, so nevermind.