30/30 Day 18: GaMe #1: N7Kevin... savior of the universe - Chris K Blog - www.GameInformer.com
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30/30 Day 18: GaMe #1: N7Kevin... savior of the universe

He was a dashing young man. Born on the planet of Eden Prime, his early beginnings were those of turmoil and suffering due to the attacks of synthetics. However after the savior of the galaxy saved the world from Reapers, N7Kevin decided to follow in his footsteps and become a savior as well.

While his origin was that of pain and suffering, he removed his troubles and excelled physically and mentally in the N7 training programs. However N7Kevin had a problem, he had seven fingers on his right hand. This made him an outcast and very inefficient with firearms, thus he was rejected. Even with his physical talent and intelligence, he couldn't fit in because he had seven fingers on only one hand.

So he compulsively ate Ben & Jerrys for six months watching sappy romantic comedies as he struggled to find his place in the world. He was angry... angry at everyone because he was rejected for having seven fingers on one hand. I mean what the hell were the instructors thinking? So N7Kevin went on a journey of self-discovery to find his place in the universe.

However he had flight sickness caused him to excessively throw up and crash on a luscious, green planet. Shocked from the impact, N7Kevin awkwardly walked around for any trace of civilization. He thought if he found civilization on this uncharted planet, he could use his talents for good.

While exploring the wild forests, he came to realize that this planet was in fact inhabited; by Amazon-like women. A new species that N7Kevin discovered all by himself, he thought he could bring this new species to join the Citadel... and possibly score a few brides. He was a smooth operator, and could successfully flirt with any woman, even a Krogan woman. So he flirted, scored some brides and lived as their fair and just ruler... for two days.

Tropical Thresher Maws decided to crash the party and threatened to destroy the entire species of Amazon women. Unable to properly attack the Maws because of their lack of technology, they relied on N7Kevin to save the day. The problem was he didn't have any weapons, just a crashed ship that did have a thanix cannon... but no targeter. So he searched for a way to launch the rockets at the Maws to save his people, but was unable.

As the women were being slaughtered, N7Kevin lost hope that he could save his incredibly attractive race. So he played Dance Central 59: Space Edition on his Vita, trying to cope with the harshness of his situation. It was then he realized how he could destroy his enemies; by dancing.

One secret that N7Kevin had over the previous savior was his impeccable dancing skills. His dancing wooed the women and made the men envious. It was his only shot, to dance the Maws away. So he put his dance pants on, and danced like a boss. The way he gyrated his hips made the Maws so confused that they ended up killing each other by the sheer awesomeness of his moves. N7Kevin unlocked his true power; dancing. It didn't matter that he had weird hands, his dancing saved a species of Amazon women... and without competing males... N7Kevin's legend was born.

 

 

 

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