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"Another random picture. What can I say? I got a sh**-ton of stupid pictures on my computer."
Yes, despite wanting football season to stay as I always do, the weeks just keep rolling along, and with them bringing more fantasy football frustration. This time, we have yours truly going back to losing, one win streak ending and one continuing, and teams jockeying for position as we head into the league's final weeks. But why only bore you those small details? It's time for the... Game Informer Online 2014 Fantasy Football League Week 9 ScoreboardThe God of Wine 101Cerpin Taxmen 49We start off this week with a game that was decided as early as last Tuesday, my Taxmen unsurprisingly falling to The God of Wine by a score of 101-49. Yes, as soon as I remembered who I was facing, I knew I was done for, and given that two of my most consistent players teams had bye weeks (Victor Cruz of the New York Giants and Eric Decker of the Denver Broncos), any moves I made roster-wise were just efforts to save face (especially after the Thursday night game). Even that didn't work out as well I'd hoped, and the only player worth noting from my team wound up being Eddie Royal, who got 11 points. On the opposing side, Eddie Lacy (21 pts), Tony Gonzalez (14 pts), Pierre Garcon (17 pts), and the Chiefs defense (16 pts), lead the way for thegodofwine7's team. Welp, looks like you were right Blake, time to spam "Bink's Sake". (Wipes tears away, and looks to winning next week's game.) (Also, curse you Nick Foles! I was going to sign him a few weeks ago but decided not to. And curse the Oakland Raiders for being such a horrible team.)The God of Wine take on The Orange Box next week, while my team goes up against Hand of Thrawn.Real Radioactive 44The Orange Box 126We continue to chug along on the scoreboard train with yet another team that only managed forty-somewhere points, as Real Radioactive got knocked the f*** out by The Orange Box, 126 to 44. Radioactive Deathbat's team, who are on a five game losing streak as it is, now move to a league worst 2-7. The only performance worth mentioning from his team is Adrian Peterson's 23 point game. Of note from The Orange Box are Chris Johnson with 29 points, Andre Johnson with a ridiculous 40, and Aaron Dobson with a 25 point game.Real Radioactive are up against the Golden Chocobos in the tenth week.LetMeGetToA Checkpoint 74Golden Chocobos 111Two of the worst teams in the league faced off this past weekend, with GCsoxfan08's team beating LetMeGetToACheckpoint's team, 111-74. Checkpoint's season continues to grow worse and worse, while the Golden Chocobos at least add another game to the win column. Scoring in LetMeGetToA Checkpoint's losing effort was Robert Griffin III (10 pts), Keenan Allen 18 (pts), Rob Gronkowski (20 pts), and Dan Bailey (11 pts). Giving the win to GC was Drew Brees (19 pts), Giovani Bernard (21 pts), Danny Amendola (18 pts), and T.Y. Hilton (30 pts).LetMeGetToA Checkpoint face the Bourbon St. Skankzillas in Week 10.Hocotate Cobras 90Bourbon St Skankzillas 50In yet another match where his team had to face one of the worst in the league, attackcobra's Hocotate Cobras beat TOGNick's Skankzillas. Only, unlike last week where the Golden Chocobos gave the Cobras a run for their money, HC pretty much ran right over the Bourbon St.ers. Giving the team the win was Terrelle Pryor (16 pts), Matt Forte (23 pts), Alshon Jeffery (12 pts), Marlon Brown (19 pts), and Ryan Succop (12 pts). Scoring for the Skankzillas were Philip Rivers (18 pts), DeSean Jackson (21 pts), and Sebastian Janikowski (10 pts). Bad lineup management and having no option but to start the Raiders defense (who recorded an abysmal -9 pts) pretty much lost this game for TOGNick's team.Attackcobra's guys throw down with Team Vaas this coming weekend.Ponder This 96Team Vaas 66The up and down, nonstop ride of fantasy football suspense for Vaas continues, as his team falls once again following a win to Watchman's Ponder This, 96-66. There are worse teams, and hell even my team hasn't been doing that well. Difference is at least every other team in this league seems like they've either consistently won or lost, something that can't be said of Vaas' team. Well, here's hoping the last four weeks smooth out a little bit for him. Moving back from the taxman held pity party, scoring in the losing effort from Team Vaas was Russel Wilson with 21 points, James Starks with 10, and Doug Baldwin with 13. Providing the most points for Ponder This were Jason Campbell (24 pts), Brandon Marshall (16 pts), Greg Olsen (12 pts), and the Panthers defense (20 pts).The current top Eastern and Western division teams go at it in Week 10, as Ponder This host Favorite Team on The Citadel.Cobra Unit 74Favorite Team on The Citadel 113Commisioner Chris' team continues their upward ascent this week, his Favorite Team on The Citadel beating Cobra Unit, 113-74. The team extends their win streak to four games. And I thought they were gonna flop. Damn you, Chris, why can't I have your team's current luck? Anyway, time to move on to the game stats. Scoring for Cobra Unit was Tony Romo (19 pts), Marshawn Lynch (13 pts), Stevan Ridley (21 pts), Garrett Hartley (10 pts), and the Browns defense (11 pts). Decent performances all, but considering the rest of the team scored zilch, not nearly enough to win the game. Meanwhile, Favorite Team on The Citadel had six players score in double digits, Case Keenum (28 pts), Alfred Morris (18 pts), LeSean McCoy and Antonio Brown (13 pts from each), and Jason Witten and Nick Folk (16 pts from each) leading FToTC to yet another win.Cobra Unit face the Blue Stingers in the tenth week.Hand of Thrawn 100Blue Stingers 55We close out this week with a bit of sad news, as Saturday Morning Replay's Blue Stingers, previous owners of a six game win streak, finally met defeat at the hands of Hand of Thrawn, 100-55. Nabil, buddy, I only have one thing to say to you: don't dream it's over. Okay, now that I'm done being an idiot, the players that lead HoT in scoring were Andrew Luck (24 pts), Zac Stacy (29 pts), A.J. Green (12 pts), and Mike Nugent (10 pts). In a surprisingly weak display, the only performances worth noting from the Blue Stingers were Cam Newton's 17 point game and the 11 points the Cowboys defense provided.*No scores are final until Saturday, and are subject to change*And now, the standings after Week 9.Standings:GIO FF East:1. Favorite Team on The Citadel 6-32. Blue Stingers 6-33. The Orange Box 5-44. Cerpin Taxmen 5-45. Team Vaas 4-56. Bourbon St Skankzillas 3-67. Golden Chocobos 3-6GIO FF West:1. Ponder This 7-22. Hocotate Cobras 7-2 3. The God of Wine 5-3-14. Hand of Thrawn 4-4-15. Cobra Unit 2-6-16. LetMeGetToA Checkpoint 2-6-1 7. Real Radioactive 2-7I'm certain you guys probably remember that I introduced the Golden Pipo a couple weeks back as this league's trophy. Yes, a prestigious award no doubt, symbolic to us as gamers and honoring a character of great bravery. I do think it is quite the fitting championship trophy. Well, guess what? I thought up yet another silly award, this time for whichever team winds up as the worst. Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you....
THE BRONZE KAI LENG AWARD OF TRYING HARD
Yes, the Bronze Kai Leng Award of Trying Hard. Kai Leng was an a**hole, and f***, did I hate him. Now, in no way do I feel this same hostility to whoever winds up being the worst team. But it is supposed to symbolize the spirit of mediocrity. You see, I'm of the opinion that Kai Leng is one of the absolute worst characters in Mass Effect's lore. He comes off as nothing but a lousy, shoe-horned in character to me. He was one of the things I didn't like about ME3, and Bioware couldn't have made a more wanna-be tough, trying-too-hard-to-be-bad-a** character if they had wanted to. So I figured, why not feature the character as a representative of the worst team? I know I'd certainly try to wheel and deal to avoid getting this award.......And that will do it for the Week 9 scoreboard. My apologies for this being a little late, as I did have something to do today, and couldn't get it up as early as I normally like to. I hope you guys had a good laugh at the Bronze Kai Leng, and if you actually like him, well, you suck as much as he does. If you don't care so much for the concept of the award, well remember that it's the idea of some fat guy living in New Jersey with entirely too much time on his hands. As usual, I'll be back next Tuesday with the Week 10 edition of the scoreboard. Until then, see ya!