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"0-3. I can't believe my team is as pathetic as the Jaguars (and so is Saturday Morning Replay's!)

Welcome, welcome, and (and one more time, just to be consistent with the week) welcome to another week of GIO Fantasy Football.  This week I have a bit of a surprise that my fellow owners and other readers alike might get a little chuckle out of.  But that's not important: THE SCORES ARE!!!!  Here I go with another edition of the...

Game Informer Online 2014 Fantasy Football League Week 3 Scoreboard

LetMeGetToA Checkpoint 53
Cerpin Taxmen 66

Alright, due to a number of factors, this game could have gone either way.  LetMeGetToACheckpoint had two injured tight-ends and didn't set her lineups in time, and I, jacka** that I am, tried to be smart and wound up over-thinking my lineup.  So no gloating here like I did last week because like I said before, either of us could've won this game.  That said, my Taxmen wound up the winner of this contest.  Yes, despite my supposed fantasy smarts showing in sitting Tom Brady and the Bengals defense, DeAngelo Williams (12 pts), Eric Decker (with a game winning 19 pts), and Matt Bryant (12 pts) helped me pull a win out of my a**.  Meanwhile, Robert Griffin III (12 pts) and Julio Jones (11 pts) kept Checkpoint in the game, with lineup woes holding the team back from winning.

My Taxmen are up against the Golden Chocobos next week, while LetMeGetToA Checkpoint is on the road versus Ponder This.

The Orange Box 58
Blue Stingers 98

After a pathetic display in Week 1 and a tie (edit: wound up a loss apparently) in Week 2, Saturday Morning Replay's Blue Stingers finally crack the win column, defeating the formerly undefeated The Orange Box soundly 98-58.  I don't recall it being close that often, you could tell the match was going to go to the Stingers.  Despite 11 point performances by both Aaron Rodgers and Antonio Gates, as well as a 20 point performance from the Bears defense, the rest of The Orange Box just didn't hold up.  In the end, Cam Newton (28 pts), Frank Gore (10 pts), Blair Walsh (10 pts), and the Packers defense (21 pts) proved to be too much, again giving the Blue Stingers the win.

The Orange Box take on the Hocotate Cobras in Week 4, while the Blue Stingers take on the Bourbon St Skankzillas.

Hocotate Cobras 67
Real Radioactive 64

Even more than my team, attackcobra's undefeated Cobras just pull out a win against Real Radioactive, winning a close game 67-64.  In another game the could've gone to either of the owners, Adrian Peterson's 12 points, Fred Jackson's 10 points, and Justin Tucker's 14 points kept Radioactive Deathbat's team in the thick of it.  However, Matt Ryan (15 pts), Matt Forte (16 pts), Bilal Powell (14 pts), and Ryan Succop (13 pts) were too much to overcome, and helped to give the Hocotate Cobras the W.  They now move to 3-0.

Real Radioactive takes on Cobra Unit in Week 4.

Golden Chocobos 79
Favorite Team on The Citadel 117

After a measly 53 point performance last week, Chris Mrkvicka's Favorite Team on The Citadel returned to Week 1 form in this game, scoring 117 points to the Golden Chocobos 79.  It could be said that LeSean McCoy's 21 points decided this game all the way back on Thursday, but good games all around helped Citadel.  Alongside McCoy's points, Andy Dalton's 13, Alfred Morris' 13, Antonio Brown's astounding 31,  Brian Hartline's 11, and Joique Bell's 18 are what provided Chris with the win.  Meanwhile, Sam Bradford (13 pts), Doug Martin (10 pts), Giovani Bernard (15 pts), and Jimmy Graham (25 pts) might have given GCsoxfan08 some bit of hope, but ultimately wasn't enough to make a difference.

Favorite Team on The Citadel go at it against Team Vaas in the fourth week.

Ponder This 105
The God of Wine 70

One team continues it's second week dominance, while the other falters in the third week, as Ponder This blows out The God of Wine 105-70.  After scoring 111 points last week, Watchman's team keeps it up, with Matt Stafford (21 pts), Calvin Johnson (17 pts), Matt Prater (17 pts), and the Ravens defense (22 pts) providing the offense.  Shockingly, after scoring over 100 points in the first two games, thegododwine7's team fell pretty hard.  Only two performances are worth noting for his team, with Alex Smith giving 13 points and DeMarco Murray providing 25 points.  An injury to C.J. Spiller and downright underwhelming performances from the rest of the team cost The God of Wine the game.  On the other hand, if the team keeps going the way they're going, Ponder This could very well prove to be a powerhouse.

The God of Wine are on the road against Hand of Thrawn next week.

Bourbon St Skankzillas 89
Team Vaas 88

A very, very close game here, with TOGNick's Skankzillas just pulling out a win over Team Vaas.  You could say Vaas had just as much a chance at winning this game, with Peyton Manning (24 pts), Jason Snelling (16 pts), Wes Welker (14 pts), and the Seahawks defense (12 pts) almost winning the game.  However, the effort wasn't enough, as Drew Brees (31 pts), Maurice Jones-Drew (11 pts), Zach Miller (12 pts), and Denarius Moore (18 pts) just put the Skankzillas over Team Vaas.  After starting 0-2, TOGNick's team finally gets a win.

Cobra Unit 83
Hand of Thrawn 82

And another close game to close out the week, as Cobra Unit beats out Hand of Thrawn 83 to 82.  Andrew Luck (14 pts), Jamaal Charles (23 pts), A.J. Green (10 pts), Steve Johnson (10 pts), and Randy Bullock (10 pts) gave Hand of Thrawn a chance to win.  But as proven by the last game, having a chance to win won't earn you one, and Tony Romo (20 pts), Jordan Cameron (24 pts), and (surprisingly) the Browns defense (12 pts) wound up winning the game for Cobra Unit.

And now for the standings after Week 3.


GIO FF East:

1. Cerpin Taxmen 3-0
2. Favorite Team on the Citadel 2-1
3. The Orange Box 2-1
4. Golden Chocobos 1-2
5. Team Vaas 1-2
6. Bourbon St Skankzillas 1-2
7. Blue Stingers 1-2 (should be 1-1-1, but ESPN Fantasy gave Real Radioactive the win)

GIO FF West:

1. Hocotate Cobras 3-0
2. Ponder This 2-1
3. Cobra Unit 2-1
4. Hand of Thrawn 1-2
5. Real Radioactive 1-2 (read Blue Stingers, above)
6. The God of Wine 0-2-1
7. LetMeGetToA Checkpoint 0-2-1

Now normally this would be where I wrap things up.  Not this week, as I have a little something extra.  While looking for a picture to close out last week's results blog, something struck me.  I kept on seeing trophies as I looked for funny fantasy football pictures, and it sort of stuck with me.  After I got the blog posted and a number of my fellow owners chimed in on it, I was hit with sudden inspiration, and decided "You know what? This league needs a silly little trophy thing, too!".  After a few days of scanning the internet for what I needed, I finally completed my project.  It's not physical, and whoever wins it all (of those who still are actively on GIO) can just post it on their profile, but without further ado, I, cerpintaxman, present to you...


Yes, The Golden Pipo Award for Fantasy Football Excellence.  The product of a mind with absolutely too much time, I feel it represents us quite well.  The Gold Pipo, represents our community's love of Overblood, while also commemorating the heroic spirit of the little robot that could (eat your circuitry out WALL-E; I joke, of course), in effect representing each of the owners efforts to win our league.  The rest of the plaque has no specific importance, and was just used to make it look nice.  It may not be physical, but I would proudly post it on my profile and say to myself "Gee, this makes all that time I wasted on something rather trivial and idiotic (but fun!), worth it all!".

Okay, now it's time to wrap this up.  Hope you guys enjoyed this, as usual, and whether you're an owner or just a reader, let me know what you think of my little surprise.  Once again, good luck to the rest of the owners, and I'll be back next week with another edition of the scoreboard.