GTA V and Call of Duty Parody Articles Must read. - blaxarbush911 Blog - www.GameInformer.com
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GTA V and Call of Duty Parody Articles Must read.

Notice: I do not claim the ownership or rights to this article that I will be quoting starting in the third paragraph. I am just re-posting a parody article i found on The Onion website and just had to share it with the gaming community so everyone could have a few laughs)

In my latest adventures through the web in search of sites similar to The Duffel Blog  (military blog/news site that makes parodies of either articles in the real news and completely turn them around for humour or they just make random stuff up making them sound legit) In my adventures I found a site called The Onion. Now I have heard of this site before but i always figured it to be another non mainstream news source and I avoid all news reading, watching, and listening since it's always filled with negative and depressing news. 

Upon entering this parody news site the first article came across is the article title of this blog. It's GTA V. I had to read this. This parody article was so funny I just had to share with the gaming community. Please do not take this article serious. it's all for a few laughs. Non of the said game content in this "article" are real. 

"NEW YORK—Confirming months of speculation, developers at Rockstar Games revealed today that the missions in the upcoming Grand Theft Auto V video game will largely revolve around the player serving as a tutor and volunteering for various community outreach programs. “We’ve developed a deep and immersive gaming experience wherein players will be able to go on a diverse array of missions, from coaching high school students in math to working closely with a series of nonprofit groups with a focus on aiding disadvantaged neighborhoods,”

Rockstar President Sam Houser said of the newest installment in the popular GTA series, noting that the game will take place in the expansive open world of Los Santos, which the main character can safely traverse in a two-door sedan loaded with study materials and potted plants. “As the game develops, players will eventually be able to undertake more challenging missions relating to LSAT prep and inner-city soccer programs, as well as unlock a one-bedroom apartment that offers a quicker commute to the Boys and Girls Club. That is, if they pass the credit check.” Though Houser refused to divulge additional details, sources have hinted that the game ends with a tragic episode in which the player is beaten and subsequently run over by a carjacker."

Source: The Onion

I hope you all enjoyed this parody article as much as I did. Especially at the end where you see that real GTA game play actually occur. There's nothing like running over pedestrians in GTA.

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As I mentions in the above portion the site called Duffel Blog is a similar site the Onion while the Duffel Blog focuses only on military and government parody articles. Posted seconds after I originally posted this blog. I had to go back and add a second part instead of posting 2 blogs. 

As we all know Activision is the publisher of Call of Duty. We also know there's the adult versions of Call of Duty. But what about a parody of Call of Duty. This is by far the funniest thing I've ever read. This article is of course like the above GTA V parody, this is not real and none of the statements, or info are any where near legit or could even happen. It's all made up with a humorous imagination.

"LOS ANGELES, CA – Amidst cries of outrage and controversy, Activision unveiled the latest addition to the Call of Duty franchise at the Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3) last week, entitled Call of Jihad: Scourge of the Infidels. The first-person shooter, developed in conjunction with some of al-Qaeda’s top field experts, will be launched for both Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3  for release on September 11, 2013.

Like previous titles in the series, Call of Jihad will feature campaign, online multiplayer and a “Suicide” mode — reminiscent of “Survival” in Modern Warfare 3 — with the objective being to slaughter as many innocents as possible before a quick-reaction force arrives.
The campaign takes place in an alternate reality where infamous al-Qaeda operatives like Osama bin Laden and Abu Musab al-Zarqawi are still alive and Khalid Sheik Mohammed is a free man. The opening mission of the campaign, displayed as part of a teaser trailer at E3, takes place in the Pakistani compound raided bySEAL Team Six. The player must single-handedly dispatch the American commandos as Bin Laden escapes on a camel before time elapses.

Game developers also confirmed the martyrdom perk would always be turned on.

“It’s *** sick!” squealed die-hard gamer Bryan Campbell, 17, of Manhattan, New York. “I give it two severed heads up!”

In an exclusive interview with The Duffel Blog, Omar Khalifa, an al-Qaeda Public Relations Officer, disclosed the strategic purpose behind launching a video game:

“It’s a huge recruiting tool. Period. Initially, it was very difficult to garner support for COJ, especially amongst our more traditional and tenured members. ‘Why submit to the infidels’ ways? We have a perfectly fine review on Yelp!’ they said. And I responded, ‘In the words of our great leader, Ayman al-Zawahiri, ‘If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.’”

“The fact is, our youth are moving away from traditional pastimes,” Khalifa continued. “Instead of stoning harlots, they’re getting stoned. Kids these days just sit around all day smoking hashish, watching MTV and playing Xbox. We needed a way to reach out to them with al-Qaeda’s message, so we took a page from the U.S. military’s playbook and decided to create a video game.”

Saif Aladeen, an al-Qaeda recruiter who normally works out of a booth in his local marketplace in Syria, flew out to Los Angeles for Call of Jihad’s premiere. “Personally, I love it. This is just what we need to bolster our numbers and ensure that we not only recruit promising operatives, but also the paper bitches that make blowing up infidels possible. I’m sorry, that was offensive — I meant POGs. A lot of kids watch newsreels from 9/11 and think anybody can crash an airliner into a building, and don’t realize it takes a particular skillset to commit mass murder. With COJ, we estimate interest in al-Qaeda will triple.”

“Have I told you about our life insurance policy? No? Well, if you join al-Qaeda today, we can guarantee 72 virgins of your choosing! Oh, okay, well, think about it,” Aladeen added.

Still, there were some detractors from inside al Qaeda’s ranks. In a review at an online gaming website, Mohammed Gul Ibrahim, an AQ financier, wrote:

“كان على ما يرام ولكن الرسومات اللعينة الله هي من الخراء”

Activision spokesperson Tony Schwartz offered little insight behind the gaming giant’s contentious partnership, but was seen laden with excessive bling and heard exclaiming “Dollars, bitches!” before zooming off in a brand-new Lamborghini Countach with several belly dancers from the premiere.

Before his abrupt departure, Schwartz hinted at the limited release of a special edition Call of Jihad Xbox, featuring a tactical keffiyeh skin and digital camel dung controllers. The console is rumored to self-destruct after an unspecified amount of time, making it the “first of its kind among improvised explosive devices for the home and family.”

Source: The Duffel Blog

For me this has to the funniest parody article i've ever read in my entire life. As long people don't take this stuff serious i'm sure you've seen the humor in these two articles and literally laughed out loud.

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