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Writers Guild Weekly Challenge - Week #3

So I can't decide if I am the worst thing or the best thing to happen to the blogging community here.

I mean, on the one hand, I have this series.  And boy what a success that has been.

On the other hand, it is my belief that this series has opened up the portal to spam hell and has caused the invasion of the spam robots that are hell bent on becoming sentient and forcing us all to watch their streams of football, soccer, and cricket all day.

But who really knows....

Now then to be serious, let's talk about this past week.  I have to say it was really awesome to see what people reviewed.  I'm glad that a lot of them weren't game reviews, although I do have to say that the game reviews were absolutely amazing, and really made me smile

Then again you have people reviewing cars, unwritten rules, and dogs which really just made me laugh.

 Unfortunately nobody reviewed battle armor for their dogs...

I have to say that I think this week was even better than the last one, and I'm glad to see that a lot of people have participated for the first two weeks.  I hope this keeps up, and I hope that you all continue to enjoy the series.

Now I am changing up these posts a bit, instead of last week where I highlighted a few blogs and then just listed the rest I'm going to feature one blog and really break it down.  This is really just to show everyone what I was looking for and really just breaking down the blog to see what we can learn from it.  There are two ways to go about this, the first is to show off the best blog and see what the writer did right.  I will normally do this kind of review, because I want to praise the good rather than expose the bad, but on occasion I will be looking at how to improve a blog.

Now this isn't as it sounds.  I won't be picking some troll blog and talking about how much they suck. Instead I'll be picking a blog that I liked, but I think can improve on some areas.  I know that a lot of people haven't seen me be critical in that way, but trust me if I'm going through it like I am then I did like the blog.  So don't take it personally if I highlight you and show off some things that I think can be improved on.

Also as a note I will only be taking excerpts from the blog.  This is to try and keep this blog under a 45 minute read (albeit unsuccessfully).  In order to read the full highlighted blog, just follow the link.

Now then, with that being said, lets take a look at what I consider to be the best blog of the week.

[WGWC #2] Deus Ex: Human Revolution review - Lancehead255

"There are numerous games that may be considered classics but very few are ageless. Deus Ex is one of them. It is hard to overemphasise how well-crafted the game was and how it is still an epitome of genre-blending. In more than one way Human Revolution tries to emulate Deus Ex, from hub-world structure to having your pilot flying you to places to even some very similar missions; in some ways it succeeds in doing so. Thus Human Revolution is measured against its predecessor as it is appreciated on its own, even though it was never expected of the game to reach the heights of the original."

Alright, let me just say that first off I love the fact that throughout the review you referenced the original Deus Ex.  I have to say that is the perfect way to start and conduct a lot of this particular review, and really I think is something I would have liked to incorporate more into my review of Dark Souls.  Lines such as "Thus Human Revolution is measured against its predecessor as it is appreciated on its own, even though it was never expected of the game to reach the heights of the original." really put the game and the review into perspective and is exactly what I love to see and read.

The second thing I love is the way that you split up your review into sections where you went over every important part of the game.  I found this very easy to read and simple to follow along with.  This especially made it easy to follow along with when you were talking about the original as it was well presented and given it's proper due.

Also in addition to this you gave a lot of information on each part.  I know as a personal note I struggle with this as I tend to get a bit formulaic in my writing, especially reviews, but after reading this and seeing some things you were talking about I think I have a better idea of what I need to do in order to improve that particular part of my writing.

"The player comes into the story in the role of Adam Jensen, the security chief for Sarif Industries, a premier corporation specialising in augmentation research. The story begins with a devastating attack on the Sarif Industries labs that leaves Jensen for dead. He is saved from the fatal injuries through advanced augmentations. Once he reports back to his duty six months later, events start to unfold that involve politics, corporate espionage, myth and legends. The story takes Jensen across the two major hub-worlds and a few other locations as he learns the mystery behind the attack and its far reaching consequences to human evolution."  

Comparing it to my review in particular I have to say that I didn't talk about the game enough.  I made mentions of the game and examples of gameplay, but really when I look at things like this it's just impressive to me.  I noticed you did this very well and really showed the reader what the game was about, no matter which part of the game you were highlighting.

"Having spoken of the freedom, this game is primarily designed for players who like to approach things deliberately. This is evident by certain design choices. First, the amount of ammunition available is not high. The game forces you to be careful of the shots you fire. Second, Jensen is very vulnerable to enemy fire. Even with Damage Reduction augmentations it does not take many bullets to render Jensen dead. However, regenerative health prevents the combat from becoming too hard. The replenishing energy cells also serve a similar purpose. Third, the inventory size is limited and requires some management."

I think this paragraph shows that off very well as you're talking about the gameplay specifically, yet you give off exactly what the game is about.  There are no questions about anything as far as the gameplay is concerned just there, let alone through the rest of your piece on it, which makes it really feel like a review.  Again, this is something I would like to emulate in my own blogs, but need to refine my writing a bit more before I attempt it.

"Deus Ex: Human Revolution is a bold endeavour. Invisible War was put to torch for apparently not doing justice to the original and Human Revolution had always been in danger of a similar fate. Eidos Montreal were careful to stick to the roots of the original while crafting the game for a new and wider audience. It borrows many things from Deus Ex but also deviates in significant ways. While the game shines presenting a believable world and providing a vast amount of freedom in both navigation and combat, it suffers with an inadequate AI and poorly designed bosses. The gunplay is not of the best tier but this game is enjoyed with a silent approach in mind. There are other minor annoyances such as Jensen left out in the open after cutscenes (a pet peeve of mine in stealth games), some screen clipping and certain augmentations make others practically useless (upgrading Radar system to level 2 meant I did not have any use for Stealth Enhancer tree). In the end it is easy enough to focus on the game's high points and enjoy the ride for what it attempts to accomplish. Human Revolution is definitely a strong start in a new generation for the franchise. I eagerly await Eidos' plans for the future of Deus Ex."

Personally I love final thought paragraphs, and this is no exception.  I think that when done well these kinds of paragraphs wrap up the review nicely and give an ample overview of what you really feel about the game.  Additionally it also gives you a chance to just say what you want to say, and this again is no exception.  The line "it suffers with an inadequate AI and poorly designed bosses" wouldn't hold up anywhere else without lots of justification (that you did when you talked about both) so to see it stand on its own and know what it's about is good.

I have to say that I loved the review and really it's shown me quite a lot.  I think that these few things I saw can really make my reviews better and I think are things every reviewer on here should look at.  Nice job Lance, and I look forward to seeing more reviews from you in the future.

Comments
  • YES! I love these so much! If I had the time, I would totally do all five of them, but I'm about to start my 30\30, so that will eat up much time. Thanks for all the recognition!
  • wow congratulations, this is a great blog :)

  • I haven't participated in these challenges, but I've certainly enjoyed reading them and your weekly roundup. This one has really peaked my interest as a writer, though, so if I can find the time this week I will definitely get involved. Keep up the great work, sir (same goes to everyone participating!)
  • Oh boy, now this really is a challenge to me. I know the writing process you laid out but I barely ever follow it. I usually edit as I write so by the time I finish there's only some minor editing left. Just to clarify, you're asking to put the different versions of the article in one blog separated by page breaks. And you're not asking to post those versions as separate blogs.
  • Sounds like a challenge. Oh, and you sir can spell my name however you want! I actually did three reviews - the first was for a game I had that I noticed didn't have any user reviews on GIO- in addition to the two mentioned. But yeah, I liked reading all these witty reviews. Very talented.
  • Okay...I am totally doing this challenge. BRING IT ONNNNNNNNNN Dx Wait..am I allowed to do this or is it a special group? I haven't been as active as I used to be xD I dunno about a bunch of these new blog series but I really want to do my part! I love how the community here has flourished so much.
  • Already thinking on the topics... Good luck everyone.

  • Best review of the week, aye?

    http://blogs.westword.com/showandtell/09%20come%20at%20me%20bro.jpg

    Also, why would this blog series be the one to cause all the spammers?
  • I am pretty sure I've already written on most of these topics before, and unfortunately, I tend to edit while I am writing, so I probably will pass on this week's challenge. >_> Great topics for the newbies, though! :)
  • I really wanted to write about 2 of the topics because they were topics I wanted to blog about before, but with all of the time I have to put into one blog, I don't have enough time to write 2 blogs!
  • By the way if one of these gets over 1,000 views I'm going to streak down to the hospital and back... and it just snowed

    I am entirely kidding by the way....
  • I'll do what I can in between working and playing Uncharted 3. No promises that it'll actually get done, but I'll let you know if I make one.
  • Ya I've just started writing reviews on GI so if I have enough time I'll definitely consider doing this.

  • I kinda agree with Oni no Tenshi on this one...I've written on most of these topics and I never write like this...so to be fair with your challenge and the rules you've set forth, I think I'll have to sit this one out - not that I'm not interested, but I don't want to be the bad example, heh heh...best of luck though! :D
  • Yeah, I'm going to have to pull a Saint and Oni on this...I edit as I write, sometimes very poorly, and even if I went back to it I probably wouldn't notice...grammar has sadly escaped my grasp...it will be cool to read these though...I haven't necessarily discussed the topics...but rules are rules...and I don't want to break them...
  • Since I write it all in once big piece, you are going to see only one page. I usually edit if I find a grammatical error, but I won't change the structure nor the content of the blog posts during editing.

    And I'm going to take topic number 3, since it suits me best.

    And thanks for that "special" reward!