The lights are on
Alright, I know I promised the ten best and the ten worst, but due to a suggestion by a member I have a lot of respect for I scaled this down for the ten worst. I fully admit that I do not have a much knowledge as some others, but here is my take on the ten worst trophies and achievements for '09.*
*Note, the games must have come out between January 1st 2009 and now to make the list. I know the ones for Avatar and what not are bad, but everyone knows about them, I wanted to show you some others.
10. In Memory of Petruccio - Assassin's Creed 2Collect all 100 Feathers in the game
Oh yay another collection achievement. This time though instead of collecting 400+ useless flags you instead have to collect 100 feathers. Did we mention that these feathers are in some of the most god-awful spots in the game? No? Well then did we tell you that they are also drowned out by the backrounds which are almost always completely white as well? No again? Well at least you get the most useless cape in the game that only serves the purpose of getting you one last achievement so you can move on to the others that actually take time and effort to complete.
9. Valor Grand Cross - Killzone 2Get weekly honor rank #4 (top 1% in the world)
I loved the game, but even I couldn't fathom as to why Guerilla put this god awful trophy into the game. Basically in order to get this you have to be in the top 1% of all players in the world. Let me repeat that for you in case you didn't hear me. Top 1% IN THE WORLD. Even at it's prime with 140,000 players weekly you still had to make the top 1,400 in order to get this, something that I only ever did once when I played for 7 straight days for at least 5 hours each day. It is not easy, it's borders on being work, and it is a true pain in every sense of the word.
8. Beat the Rush - Left 4 DeadIn a survival round get a medal only using melee weapons
You want to know the one way to get people to stop caring about the team entirely? Why give them imaginary points of course. Because that is all this particular achievement does in left 4 dead 2. I don't even think I need to explain this one, you go off to a safe spot and hide in a corner while the real members of your team are left to do the work. You either better have some good friends or really enjoy griefing other players to try for this one.
7. Be Like Marty - Halo 3: ODSTIn firefight finish a whole round without killing a single enemy
And on that same note we have the Halo ODST entry in "how to be a useless to your teammates." Proving that even the best games aren't immune to bad achievements It's the same thing as L4D2 except this time instead of said person sitting in a corner swinging a sword they sit in a corner and play with themselves. Thanks for being useful there buddy. I'll be sure to think of you when I'm getting killed by that brute.
6. Trophy Case - NHL '10Be a member of a team that has won all EA SPORTS hockey league team trophies
So in other words team up with 5 guys who not only play well together, but are so good that you just can't be beaten. And then get lucky enough to win everything (because when it comes to games like that it really is luck). Sounds like some time well spent there. /sarcasm Did we mention that it's presented by Honda
5. Bad Loser - Fifa '10Quit and forfeit in a match 5 times while losing
There couldn't be a better achievement for all the rage quit nerds. This all but secures the fact that any time you start handing it to your opponent they will just quit leaving them with a lower DNF% and you shaking your head at yet another incomplete game. Seriously since when did quitters become something good?
4. The Final Countdown - Lego Rock Band100% the guitair solo on expert for "The Final Countdown"
Alright, legos plus guitairs what can go wrong? I mean everything about this game screams for kids. Well except for the fact that there is nothing easier than the easy mode as far as button presses and then there is this. Tell me exactly what kid that is playing will ever even try for this? I mean it is one thing for it to be just "100% the guitair solo for the final countdown" but to make it have to be on expert is something that a good number of adults would struggle with, let alone kids that are just getting into the music games. I don't normally support easy achievements but in this case I'll make an exception.
3. Last One I Promise - Tony Hawk RideRematch against an opponent 10 times
In this achievement's defense there may only be two people that own and play Tony Hawk Ride. That though is still no reason why I should have to face the same person ten times in a row. I mean even the people who play this game have to have some sort of life, or at the very least take it to a local skate park where they can face off with people endlessly in something that matters. I mean if people actually wasted their time getting this achievement in this game then you might as well just give them a skateboard and throw them from your house.
2. Who's Your Daddy/Thuggee - Fat PrincessKill 6 people in 1 second/Kill 88 people without dying
Okay, seriously if anyone has ever gotten these/seen anyone who has gotten these please let me know. I personally don't see any way that you could feasibly get either one of these without cheating. For one you have to be a magic user and have 6 enemies around you all about to die. For the other you either have 6 clerics behind you just healing you or you kill 1-3 people before you run away and hide. Neither one is practical, and considering all you get is a bronze, both are not worth the effort.
1. Chain Smoker - The SaboteurSmoke 100 Cigarettes
I'll give you the description of this achievement before I tell you anything else. "You smoked way too much." Now that doesn't sound too bad, stand around have a few cigarettes, take in the sights of german-occupied France, oh except one thing, you have to smoke 100 cigarettes and there are two ways to do this. The first involves staring up your game of The Saboteur and then walking away and doing something useful with your life (Like going outside and/or showering for some of you) or by sitting in front of your TV continuously hitting left on the analog stick causing your character to light and then flick away a cigarette each time.
So there you have it, my worst 10 trophies/achievements of this year. Feel free to comment, rate, or just yell at me for what I missed. I'll be happy to read everything you guys have to say.
those are some good ones
Sorry about the formatting BTW, for some reason I had a lot of issues with it during this blog post.
I think you have it all wrong with the L4D2 achievement. Perhaps you don't understand that sitting in a corner in L4D2 in nearly impossible. Why? Here's why: Spitters you don't see, charger with nowhere to run, and tanks appear every thirty seconds on survival. Plus, I'm probably mistaken, but I believe you need the whole team using melee weapons for Beat the Rush. Oh yeah, this achievement will DEFINITELY be a breeze.
www.youtube.com/watch
One person has to do it for that person to get the achievement, and in that particular spot you can sit there and just kill the ones that come over the wall. Regardless you're still utterly useless to the team and the entire point of playing like this isn't for the team but so that you can get an individual achievement. If that doesn't fit the definition of bad achievement I don't know what does.
Any of the trial-based achievements in Street Fighter IV. Downright impossible.
On cod4 where you were cpt price & you had to help mcmillan get extracted by the ferris wheel on veteran
Agree on the sports ones. I think all the EA Sports games need achievement overhauls.
haha this was pretty funny dude I never knew about half of these
I have actually tried the left 4 dead achievement..Not fun
@ RavensFootball
Yeah I remember playing that when my buddy brought over CoD4 for the first time. Though I'm surprised there was nothing like it for MW2 or else that may have made the list.
That's funny!
You completely forgot Mirror's Edge time trial achievements as well as Ninja Gaiden II achievements, and what about every achievement that requires you to play the online version of the game for hours on end? But, then again, it isn't really considered wasted time completely... hmm... I shall ponder this later, but still good choices. I think the GTA IV pigeon achievement is way harder than AC2's Petruccio achievement, though. There's 200 of them in a massive city map, and they're very well hidden. I've only found 20 on my own.
@ Ben
Again, this was just for the games that came out 2009. All of those would make great choices (and easilly on the list right along with the turok grab bag and the avatar achievements) but for this particular year these were the ten worst that I know of.
Great blog post. May I add that Vidmaster Endure can be pretty grueling when you have the wrong people...
Oh, the 2009 part slipped my mind, my bad. At least Mirror's Edge was made in 2009, but I'm satisfied with your blog choices.
wow i must be realy realy useless cause i have the be like marty achivment.wow................................i realy suck.
LOL! Some achievements are pretty stupid. Although I wonder why some Gears of War 2 ones didnt get in here? Any one remember that gay achievement were you have to kill 100,000 enemies. It's called Seriously 2.0. WHO THE **** IS GOING TO SPEND DAYS INFRONT OF THEIR XBOX OR PS3 TRYING TO KILL 100,000 STUPID ALIENS!?!
I don't think anyone would ever get the Tony Hawk Ride one, I work at a GameStop and I have yet to even see a copy sold.