Yeah...the title pretty much sums it up. These are 40 things I learned in the year of 2009. Beware, you might not understand some of them.

• Resident Evil still has suckish controls
• Nintendo fans who want Mature games won't buy said games
• Metal is awesome
• Nu Metal sucks
• Dream Theater is better than [insert your name here]'s favorite band(s)
• Dead Space is a lot less terrifying on Easy
• Tim Schafer should write a movie
• Infinity Ward is comprised of robots
• Pixar is still awesome
• Zombies will never move faster than a slow walk
• Chainsaws are not ideal in a zombie apocalypse
• Certain songs are louder when played live
• Mosh pits are comprised of 90% shirtless guys
• Batman is now cool when regarding video games
• A lot of people really like Okami banners
• Cats are annoying when they are meowing in the middle of the night
• Nobody is better than Freddie Mercury, not even Freddie Mercury
• ClapTrap is a definite win for "Hero of the Year"
• Corrosive Burst-Fire Rocket Launchers are normal on Pandora
• No one remembers what happened in the first half of the year
• My brother makes up the stupidest dog names
• I do a lot of things with my brother
• Bambino will inherit the Earth
• Vampires are totally lame
• Nachos don't have to be small
• Triscuits are delicious
• I like Dr.Pepper
• Online gaming is fun
• The MGS story actually makes sense in MGS4
• MW2 feels exactly like WaW which felt like CoD4
• Why go to a store when you have friends to "borrow" games off?
• GlaDos is hilarious
• The Gravity Gun is awesome at the end
• Rocks hurt when thrown at your leg
• Air guitar isn't as easy as it looks
• Science is fun (if you watch Mythbusters)
• Mike Rowe has the best/worst job ever
• The worst thing you can say to someone is, "Your favorite movie is Biodome"
• Animals can be jerks
• I love the Power Glove. It's so bad.

If you want to see a (decent) rip-off of my surprisingly popular post, go here.