The lights are on
Veteran Member - Level 12
It was a Wednesday morning back in '03, and I was running a little late for school. I bolted to the school in a hurried mess well after the bell rang. I was a little embarassed to be so late, since this was the day we were all going to have a PIZZA PARTY!
Well I was late for science class, and I was walking at a brisk pace down the hall. Out of the corner of my eye I saw two kids fighting. "You're just a big, dumb idiot," "takes one to know one," "I know you are, but what am I" was the extent of their argument. I walked over to them to find out why they were being so mean to eachother. Well, it turns out they were fighting over a girl. Both of them were "in love" with her and neither wanted to share her.
I was at a loss of a clear solution. So I walked into the bathroom. Who did I see? Brandon. "Oh, yo, hey I was just takin' a ***! What's up, bro?" I explained the situation to Brandon, and he walked out of the bathroom with me, going up to the two hoodlums. "I got an idea fo' you guys to see who can go home with this chick. Simply put, ya'll are gonna be in a footrace! First one to the gym wins-go!" And they were off. Halfway down the hall, though, one of the douchbags said "*** this! I'mm go tell chick how I feel!" and he darted off into one of the classrooms.
So then tweedle-dee turns around, comes back to me and Brandon and says "So I win then, right? I get the girl? He's disqualified..." And Brandon snaps back "You lost, b*tch! Other dude gets the girl! What were you thinking?" And the boy walks away with his head lowered.
Brandon and I decided to walk around for a bit since we were already tardy. "Yo, you realize you still in yo' pajamas, right?" And I took one look at what I was wearing and was shocked to realize I didn't dress myself that morning. "I better get bakc home and change before anybody sees me. That would be emba-" and just then the fire drill went off. So Brandon and I ran out of the building before anybody else left their seats and were halfway down the block when kids came pouring out.
My science teacher came outside and saw us. "Wow, I'm impressed! You guys are on top of your ***!" And Brandin and I looked at him smuggly and said "Yeah, we're not messin' around today. We know what's up, Mr. Boner! (Yeah, his name was 'Boner,' big whoop. But he was the best teacher ever!)" "You guys get gold stars for the day!" Brandon and I were particularly excited because gold star were Mr. Boner's way of saying "one dollar." He was creative like that.
So after school Brandon and I went to the Quick Stop and we walked up to the counter and said "Give me ALL the gum you have, my good man. We're feeling EXPENSIVE today!" So the cashier said "Right away, sirs! Even the gourmet ***?" Brandon and I looked at eachother, and the back at the man and said "well, no. How about just all of your "Trident?" "Absolutely!" So Brandon slapped a five spot on the counter and said "That's for you, my good man." And he gave him a wink.
The two of us walked out of that store with, like, four packs of Trident thanks to Mr. Boner's generosity. And that was the greatest day ever.