Brandon just broke up with his girlfriend (I didn't even know he had one), so he calls me up and tells me all about it:

"Me and Mandy broke up and I was feelin' pretty lonely.  So I turn on my CD player and pop in "Nothing Compares 2 U" by that bald chick.  Well I get, like, to the best part of the song when the ***' CD starts skippin'.  I'm pissed at this point so I hop on my bike and go to the store.  This yahoo drivin' an ambulence almost hits me.  I kept goin' though 'cause I was on a mission.

So I get to the store and turns out they don't have that CD.  So I'm like 'Great!  What's a boy to do now?'  So I just bought some chips an' a frozen pizza and went on my way.  I'm bikin' down the street when out of the corner of my eye I see Mandy in her car!  So I bike over to her an' I told her what I did and she was all like "Man, that song is gay!" So right then I realized I didn't need no skank tellin' me what's good and what ain't.

I biked home from there and my roommates were launching fireworks in the front yard.  So I started makin' trouble in my neighborhood.  I got in one little fight and my mom got scared and said you're movin' with yo' Auntie and Uncle in Bel-Air.  So I whistled fo' a cab and when it came near the license plate said "FRESH" and there were dice in the mirror.  If anything I can say that this cab is rare but I thought nah forget it, yo homes, to Bel-Air.  I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cabbie 'yo, homes, smell ya later!' I looked at my kingdom I was finally there!  Sittin' on my throne as the Prince of Bel-Air!"


So hung up.