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May 4 is Star Wars Day! Rather than celebrate this glorious day with positivity and an editorial that speaks fondly of our favorite galaxy far, far away, I decided to round up all of the horrible characters I could think.I’ve talked to numerous parents over the years who regretfully say their sons or daughters are fans of many of the characters I’m listing here. With that said, this list is strictly for people born in the '80s or earlier.10. HoarI remember doing a double take when I first saw his name in the Star Wars fighting game, Masters of Teras Kasi. I even had to check with LucasArts to see if it was a placeholder name in the review build. His full name is KkH'Oar'Rrhr. They probably should have listed that instead.9. Boss Nass“Yousa no tinken yousa greater den da Gungans? Mesa like dis. Maybe wesa... bein' friends.” Now picture him shaking wildly. 8. YaddleYoda with a bad toupée and cheap belt. 7. Joh YowzaHis full name is apparently J'ywz'gnk Kchhllbrxcstk Et'nrmdndlcvtbrx, but we all know him as the obnoxious singer that was added to the Max Rebo Band in Return of the Jedi's Special Edition. He sings “Jedi Rocks.” 6. Wicket (English speaking version)In Ewoks: The Battle of Endor, the second television film featuring Star Wars’ loveable teddy bears, Wicket learns how to speak English and loses his adorable factor in the process. The Wicket costume looks more like a stuffed version you’d find in a toy store than the one seen in the movies. 5. Skippy
Remember that red astromech droid that Luke Skywalker almost purchased from roving Jawa salesmen on Tatooine? We all know that droid as R5-D4, but in the comic book Star Wars Tales, the great Peter David reveals the astromech’s name is actually Skippy. Worse yet, Skippy is powerful in the Force. No, I am not making this up. 4. Fode and Beed
Simply the worst announcers of anything ever. The pod race was enjoyable to watch, but these knuckleheads made it almost impossible to listen to.3. Anakin Skywalker (mid-puberty)From the horribleness of young Anakin, we probably should have known that
he wouldn’t be much more likable in his teen and 20-something
years. “I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it
gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything is soft and smooth.”
Ugh. Go float a pear in a different movie, dude.2. Anakin Skywalker (pre-puberty)I thought young Anakin Skywalker would be troubled, angst-ridden, and
powerful with the Force. What did we get instead? "Now this is pod racing!"1. Jar Jar Binks
I wish I could go back in time and listen to the discussions animators had while working on Jar Jar Binks. Those must have been dark days in the animation world. "I don't know. Mesa day startin’ pretty okee-day with a brisky morning munchy, then BOOM! Getting’ very scared and grabbin’ that Jedi and POW! Mesa here! Mesa gettin' very very scared!” Picture George Lucas saying that as he wrote the script. Terrifying.
Check out Joe Juba's Gaming's Best and Worst Star Wars Characters list for another perspective on Star Wars' forgettable faces.
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