Five Things I Learned From The Hunger Games

Last weekend was a little nuts. On Friday, my friends made me drive to my local movie theater to reserve seats for a Saturday showing of The Hunger Games. I've never done this before. I stood in line for numerous midnight showings, but I've never had to "pre-order" a seat.

Turns out they made the right call. The theater was swimming with people. Every show was sold out. People standing in the lobby hoping to get a seat day of were left with John Carter or nothing.

Outside of the movie being crowded to capacity – which tested my patience with the amount of whispered chatter going on – I enjoyed The Hunger Games. I'm not going to review it here (or ever), but I will say that you should go see it as soon as you can. It's a fun ride from start to finish.

Since the list below does dive into plot points (and the ending), I'm going to throw a big SPOILER warning on this story.

Without further ado, here's a list of the five things I still find myself thinking about days after seeing the film:

5. DON'T BLOW UP YOUR SUPPLIES
I fully support the use of landmines. Defense doesn't get much better than an unexpected explosion under an attacker's feet. Just make sure that the person tasked with planting the mines knows what he or she is doing. I've never planted one myself, but I do know that you want to plant them underground, making them as undetectable to the naked eye as possible. In the film, the person who planted them made them look like sandcastles or dung piles. More importantly, you don't want to plant the mines near your settlement or gear – especially if, for whatever reason, you stack all of your rations and weapons together in one gigantic pile. In the film, all of the mines are placed within blast range of the loot. I don't need to tell you what happens next. Those kids deserved to lose.

4. ALL WHISTLING SOUNDS LIKE THE X-FILES
Is it just me, or is the melody whistled in this film nearly identical to The X-Files' theme? Someone should get sued for this.

3. RULES ARE MEANT TO BE BROKEN AND FIXED AND BROKEN AGAIN
At the beginning of the film, we're told that only one of the children would walk out of The Hunger Games alive. When one of the tributes revealed he had a secret crush on another contestant, that rule was changed to "two tributes from the same district" would live. Once that storyline played out to its conclusion, the rule was quickly switched back to only one person being allowed to live. When both characters decide to commit suicide, the rule was changed again to let two tributes live. Why didn't the powers that be shoot fireballs at one of the two people left standing? Problem solved.

2. THE KID WHO PAINTED HIMSELF TO LOOK LIKE A LOG IS AN IDIOT
Seriously, people. With that level of talent, that kid should have won the tournament. As the movie Predator has shown us, even aliens with state-of-the-art technology cannot track humans who know how to camouflage themselves. That kid should have dominated The Hunger Games. What does he do instead of using his gift? He teams up with the bad guys. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

1. NEVER TEAM UP WITH OTHERS IN A BATTLE TO THE DEATH
This is perhaps the stupidest thing anyone could do. It's not a matter of if the other person will turn on you, but when. It's a battle to the death! Only one person can survive...unless the rules are changed numerous times to create plot. Grab a sword and start swinging, dummies. Or, if you want to be strategic, grab a backpack and go camp out in a tree.