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Okay, so some of us in the office have an unfortunate fascination with watching bad video game movies. Last week, this bizarre hobby resulted in tragedy as four of us watched one of the worst movies ever made: Far Cry. Bryan, Sean, Ben, and I gathered to play some Scott Pilgrim on PSN...only to discover that our code wasn't activated yet, and the game wasn't available for download. So, we had pizza and refreshments, but no activity. What could we do? We almost did this. Then we did something worse.Any other group of self-respecting adults would have called it a night. However, I suggested that we use the opportunity to resurrect our bad video game movie night by watching Far Cry, which was unfortunately available on Netflix Instant Queue (Aside: As far as I know, this trash pile never even got a theatrical release. Hell, it may not have even gotten a DVD release. I think it was one of those straight-to-Netflix-Instant-Queue movies)Avoid this at all costs! Also, I dispute Netflix's classification of this movie as "exciting."As someone who has now seen every one of Uwe Boll's video game movies (I just died a little bit inside writing that, by the way), I can tell you one thing: He never got better. Some people may tell you that he crawled a slow path of improvement, starting at "total s---" and eventually landing at slightly more complimentary "mostly s---." Not true! As Far Cry demonstrates, every one of his films are absolutely unwatchable, and insulting on several levels.Unlike some previous Boll productions, Far Cry doesn't even have a star-studded cast. I mean, I can understand how someone might be suckered into seeing In the Name of the King, since it has Jason Statham, Burt Reynolds, John Rhys-Davies, Ron Perlman, and Ray Liotta. The three headliners in Far Cry are Til Schweiger, Emmanuelle Vaugier, and Udo Kier. Now, I'm not going to disparage these actors individually – I've seen them each in things I've enjoyed (spoiler: Far Cry is not one of those things). Plus, I'm not going to blame them...no one turns in a good performance in any Uwe Boll video game movie. But the fact remains that Far Cry just doesn't have a ton of star power.The movie obviously sucks right away and never stops. Some commandos get killed, someone hires Jack Carver to go to some crazy island, that giant dude from Gladiator shows up (the one who gets skewered with all those arrows at the end). The girl falls for Jack Carver immediately and without reason or explanation, and some guy who was supposed to be a sidekick or something gets introduced when there are just 20 minutes left in the movie.Look, this is that guy from Gladiator I'm talking about. Not the dude with the crying angel/tiger mask.Anyway, the short of it is that we watched Far Cry, and it was hilarious. Sure, it was hilarious in a terrible way, but we had a good time talking over the movie and making fun of Ben. I apologize if you thought this was going to be a review of Far Cry. It's not. You don't need me to tell you the numerous ways in which this movie fails, because it's all of them. This movie fails in all of the ways.Which made it a perfect choice for bad video game movie night. Next up: Max Payne, I think.
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I would say Max Payne isn't worth seeing but since you already saw this it sounds like it might be a step up.
There's a far cry movie?
Really?
I saw this at the local movie store once. I commend your bravery for watching this massive fail.
Til Schweiger was pretty awesome in Inglorious Basterds; other than that he's mostly in awful stuff like this and Deuce Bigalow pt 2. Anyway I didn't even know Far Cry had a movie, but then you can always count on Ewe Boll to turn an obscure game into an even more obscure- and awful- film.
After reading this, I think I need to make a whole day where me and my brother do nothing but watch Uwe Boll movies. Sure, we might be dead at the end, but at least we'll have a good laugh.
Let's just hope Uwe never gets his hands on a video game that's actually good.
Hey, guys, did you hear they're making a Mass Effect movie? Rumor has it that Uwe Boll would like to ruin it!
I am almost tempted to watch it now. Ive never seen any of this guys movies.
I am almost tempted to watch it now. Ive never seen any of this guy's movies.
Oh man Max Payne was awesome. It was so terrible that every line and situation was better than the last. Make no mistake the film is trash, but so hilarious as a result. When a movie has significant plot development in a tattoo parlor, that's never seen again, and has no relation at all to the main story, its the sign of a bad movie. I won't tell you what happened in that shop but it was one of the most hilariously terrible plot developments of all time. Plus what I guess is the theme of the movie is stupid. Max "saves the day" by doing drugs. No joke.
I just watched King Arthur on TV and I'm pretty sure that was from Uwe Boll. It was pretty terrible. My friend told me it was kind of like Lord of the Rings. I'm done with Uwe Boll, and probably the friend.
I'm in again, this may have changed the way I look at the world (everything else sucks a little less).
Oh man. Uwe Boll is a piece of work. I have purposely avoided Far Cry because I don't think my soul could stand another hit along the lines of Alone in the Dark. My soul hurts just thinking about that "movie." Why oh why are we gluttons for punishment?
To those of you who haven't seen it: Far Cry isn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I mean, I wouldn't go so far as to say it was a good movie, but it was surprisingly cool in parts. Uwe Boll is definitely getting a little better with each movie. It's pretty fun mindless action. It's a good popcorn movie, but it won't be winning any awards.
(This may or may not be a test to see if anyone clicked the links...)
You know, Joe, this just makes me want to watch it now.
Much like "Roller Boogie" or whatever that other movie was that I read on here a little while back. I too have a facination with watching horrible movies. and I have seen Far Cry on instant queue for sometime now calling for me.
You mentioned the star power that is usually present in Boll's films. I can't understand what makes these Big names want to be in his movies. Don't they know his body of work?
Wow...there is a third Bloodrayne coming out. Good luck getting Ben to watch this one