Odds are that you've never seen BloodRayne 2: Deliverance. That's one thing you don't have in common with Game Informer's Ben Reeves, who I tricked into watching the cinematic abomination through a combination of guile, trickery, and just plain lying.

This happened a couple years ago, but I was reminded of the story today and thought the GI community might want to join me in reveling in Ben's humiliation.

It all started when Bryan, Nick, and I began holding Bad Video Game Movie Night (I imagine we could also watch good video game movies...if they existed). After watching Super Mario Bros., we decided to give BloodRayne 2 a shot.

If you're any kind of gamer at all, you don't need me to tell you that a Uwe Boll movie is bad enough to make you gag. So I'm just going to skip over that part.

Seriously. This guy hasn't done a good movie since A Christmas Story.

The real story begins the following day, when Ben came into the office. During the course of the normal morning routine (like checking emails and stuff), Ben asks if we did anything fun last night. Bryan tells him that we watched BloodRayne 2, and then Ben wants to know what we thought.

This is where I sprung into action.

When you want to sucker someone into doing something stupid, you've really got to sell it properly. If I were to respond to his question with a resounding "It was the best movie ever! You should buy it immediately," even Ben would smell a rat. Instead, you need to lie in a less obvious way, in order to make your opponent believe you are being honest.

So, the conversation basically went like this:
BEN: How was it?
JOE (before Bryan can respond with the truth): You know, it was alright. I mean, I wouldn't go so far as to say it was a good movie, but it was surprisingly cool in parts. Uwe Boll is definitely getting a little better with each movie.
BEN: So is it worth watching?*
JOE: Well, that depends. It's pretty fun mindless action. It's a good popcorn movie, but it won't be winning any awards. I actually have it with me if you want to borrow it.
BEN: Yeah, I might check it out.
JOE:  Cool. I'd be curious to know what you think. [hands over movie]

[*Bryan's desk is right between mine and Ben's, so Ben and I are basically having this exchange with Bryan in the middle. As I'm trying to keep a straight face while lying to Ben, I see Bryan literally biting his lip and looking intently at his computer monitor, angled away from Ben so as not to ruin the scheme.]

Ben stopped at my desk a few days later to return the DVD. That conversation went something like this:

JOE: Oh, did you watch it already?
BEN: Yeah, my brother and I did. I didn't think it was that...
JOE: BWA HA HA HA HA HA!
BRYAN: BWA HA HA HA HA!

So that's my story about BloodRayne II and Ben. If you want to be more like Ben, one way to do that is to watch the movie for yourself. In fact, I'd recommend it. It's not going to win any awards, but it's a good popcorn movie.


Ben is a man of discerning taste and good judgment.