A few years back, my future wife and I were looking for something to watch on the boob tube when we innocently stumbled upon a movie that, within minutes, had us dumbfounded. (On a side note: Whoever chose to broadcast this movie on tv in the 21st century must have been out of their minds.) Neither of us had ever seen the likes of it before and immediately became entranced in its numerous dubious qualities. More specifically, the film's "interesting" take on the supposed roller skating boom going on in southern California (heck, the entire country?) in the late 1970s. Mix that enticing plot device with the irresistible allure that is disco music, throw in some tried-and-true youthful rebellion coupled with a ridiculously cheesy love story and you've got a classic in the making. What movie is it, you might be asking? Well, it's the only one gutsy enough to use the tagline "Love on Wheels" in its promotion. Wow.

Not to be confused with Boogie Nights, Boogie Woogie, High Roller, or even Boogie Man, Roller Boogie's main attraction is, you guessed it, roller skating. It's all these people do. Getting around town? Strap on the skates. Picking up women? It can only be done with four wheels on each foot. Walking up and down stairs, making out on a dumpster, inexplicably performing handstands on a bench, being chased by a limousine full of gun-wielding mobsters, throwing vegetables at said mobsters – it's all performed while sporting their roller skates. Roller skates! And the movie is the more ridiculous and better for it. Oh, and it stars Linda Blair, too.

Yes, there's drama, love, betrayal, comedy (intentional and not) – all the components needed for a great film to come to fruition. But it's the roller skating that gets more of a push than any other element in the movie – by a long shot. And I get it, the activity is a central factor to the lives of the characters (although how they manage to make a living is beyond me) as well as the plot in general, but Roller Boogie will, without warning, morph into nothing more than a psychotic video showcase of how cool roller skating apparently was back in the late 70's. Happen to notice that promo was practically wall-to-wall skating? Yeah. Some of the stuff you'll see performed on said skates will blow your mind and leave you laughing your a** off. Don't believe me? Then take a look at this next video. This is the first roughly four minutes of Roller Boogie. I'm not kidding.

We now own this movie on DVD.