Gamer Rage: The Dark Side Of Gaming

Ah yes, video games. They offer a level of escapism and engagement that few, if any, forms of entertainment can match. The sense of wonderment that washes over you as you're drawn into a game's addictive grip is exactly why we turn to gaming as our respite of choice. Is there anything better? Ah yes indeed, so many good times that will undoubtedly create countless great memories. This is the best!

And then you die.

Or lose the race. Or run out of time. Or get hosed by the game in some sort of fashion. And it keeps happening, more than you'd like. For most people, it's merely a bump in the road of what is otherwise a splendid journey. They deal with it in a mature, composed manner and move on. But for some, such an inconvenience can elicit a reaction so vile, so transformative that you'd swear you were witnessing a present day version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Such are the unfortunate side effects of what happens when gaming goes bad. Yes my friends, we're talking about GAMER RAGE!

Unfortunately gamer rage can afflict even the best of us at times. You may be asking yourself, "Hey Jeff, have you ever been stricken with a case of gamer rage?" And to that I'd respond, "Is water blue?" Now I should point out that most, if not all, of my wrongdoings were performed back when I was a wee young lad. Call it immature, call it naive, call it what you will, but times were harder back then. That or I was just a little *** who needed some sense knocked into him.

The sad part is I can't even tell you what the actual games were that caused me to "lose it." I just remember the ways in which I would deal with my pent-up adolescent frustration. One of my favorite anger-reducing methods was to take the controller I was playing with and literally attempt to break the mother*** in half. There were a number of times I wanted to snap my old NES controller in two like you would a pickle. I remember actually hearing some cracking and popping noises emitting from said controller a couple of times I performed this dastardly deed. Surely the controller must have screwed me in some fashion as to be the victim of such a heinous act, correct? I wish. It would have made such actions a little more forgivable. But that's what happens when you actually try to beat games like Friday the 13th - what in the heck was I thinking?

Another patented move I would utilize when a game kept getting the best of me back in the day was the good ol' NES smash. If a game was really starting to p*** me off I'd swiftly strike the top of the NES with one quick blow of my fist. This move was brilliant for a number of reasons, none of which ever occurred to me as I unleashed the fury. First off, every time I struck the NES, the cartridge would spring up and halfway out of the console. Not only did this force me to restart the game, but precious time and effort spent getting to that particular spot in said game was all but wasted. And if it was a game where you couldn't save (and back then the chances of that were fairly high), then I was really screwing myself. Secondly, performing the "smash" eventually led to the total destruction of the lid on our NES. You'd think the devastating toll I was taking on the system would alter my actions in some way. Nope. I kept smashing that NES long after it lost its little lid. Not once did I ever think I would actually break the NES to the point that it wouldn't work. That real possibility never crossed my mind. Not only was the NES an entertainment system, but it was my punching bag as well - killing two birds with one stone. Wise beyond my years, I tell ya. And yet, I wasn't the only one I knew that had cases of gamer rage.

My brother, under supreme amounts of duress while playing Tony Hawk 3, would yell at the TV so violently that our dog, Barney, would literally piss himself trying to get out of the room. It was such a haunting experience that any time Barney witnessed my brother boot up the PS2, he'd scamper out of the room.

Or how about my cousin? Back in the NES/SNES days, he'd get so worked up playing a game that he'd take the controller and whip it around his head like a lasso. Freaky. And if he was really pissed, watch out - he'd get that controller going at the speed of sound and send it crashing right into the console itself. What a sight. It's no surprise that he broke a controller or two performing such a feat.

I also had a friend back in the day that would bury his head in a blanket so he could let out some of the fiercest, blood-curdling screams you've ever heard in your life. Less destructive to property? Yes. More damaging to any and all eardrums in the immediate vicinity? Absolutely. Thank you NHL 93 for playing such a damaging role in my sense of hearing.

And the sad part is, we're not alone. Not by a long shot. Don't believe me? Then let's take a look, shall we, at a few of the other ways gamers deal with their, uh, frustration:

[View:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuv3vOqTGq0:610:0] The keyboard is already missing some keys before the guy even smashes it

[View:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVqDbC3zZmM:610:0] Scary

[View:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnMjb8-l1Cg:610:0] That Gameboy deserved so much better

[View:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNaacYtnAeA:610:0] The real question is why does this guy have the only printer sitting next to his rig?

[View:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCyJBvpNO1Q:610:0] Note the calm gentlemen sitting to the left of this guy. The definition of cool

[View:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0AlEbVXOwDw:610:0] There are no words...

And there you have it. So what have we learned today? Perhaps we all need to take a deep breath and remember why it is we play video games. For relaxation, for entertainment, for fun. Not to blow a gasket. That just isn't healthy.

But man, it sure is funny...