The lights are on
Bad Game Informer covers. There, I said it. Impossible, right? One would like to think so. But I'd also like to think people read our magazine first and foremost because of the design. Well, you know what they say, you can wish in one hand and crap in the other and see which fills up first. Exactly.You might not remember these "gems" for any of a number of reasons. And that's probably a good thing for both you and us here at GI - that is, until now. In the spirit of Curtis Fung regaling us all with the first 200 covers from Game Informer's illustrious history, I thought I'd have a little fun with some of the, how shall I say, low points from said batch. I think you'll agree - we've come a long way.I just hope this doesn't get me fired...
Return of the Dinosaurs / Issue #10A blast from the past. Almost looks like the back of a kid's cereal box. And it very well could be considering how cute that T-rex looks. He's got a twinkle in his eye and a little smile to boot. Obviously his dislocated left arm isn't fazing him one bit. Way to tough it out big guy. These were simpler times...
Super Adventure Island / Issue #4Speaking of simpler times... Rad background dude! I swear I transport back to the 80's when I look at this cover. It just totally messes with any vibe the art had going for it. And speaking of said art (which is the cover art for the game, by the way), does anyone else find it completely ridiculous? Fighting a fire-breathing dragon with a wooden boomerang? How is that going to work? Heading into battle wearing only a straw skirt and a hat? What? What good is the hat? Riding in an obviously unstable mining cart that is about to go off the rails? It all makes sense. Does Master Higgins even notice he's about to plummet to his death if the dragon doesn't get him first? Tough spot. Oh yeah, the yellow text is pretty hard to read as well - big design faux pas.
Treasures of the Deep / Issue #51Nothing gets my gamer juices flowing like the though of swimming with some fish. And a shark. Did I mention those fish look like they're either scared ****less of said shark or they're made of cardboard? And what is up with that shark? Is he just hanging out or does he have it in for that treasure hunting fool? What treasure are we looking for, by the way? Cardboard fish, perhaps? Nevermind that while all of this is occurring, you've got Yoshi putting the moves on Aerith. That's just plain creepy.
BattleTech / Issue #17Man, that machine sure has a lot of missiles. Those prove useful when engaging your enemy in battle...not when you're giving your supposed enemy a cool profile shot of your ridiculous paint job. Did this thing get carved out of the planet Jupiter? Or maybe a giant rock? At least our "Special Role-Play Feature" looks to have scored a direct hit. Bam! The real quandary is why Super Metroid only garnered, what, a mere 5% of the cover? Samus gets the shaft, what a shame.
Tekken 3 / Issue #61This actually isn't that bad of a cover from a design standpoint, although I am a little intimidated by the fact that Tekken 3 will supposedly kick my butt. Meh.The real crime here is Yoshimitsu; the most annoying, baffling character in the Tekken franchise. Who hops around on their sword? What purpose does that serve? What an idiot. Heck, I would have taken Kuma the bear over this chump for the cover. Just anyone but Yoshimitsu!
Red Faction / Issue #92 • Twisted Metal Black / Issue #93The "let's cram as much text as we possible can onto the cover!" era. We've got some great cover art here. You wouldn't know it with the Moby Dick-length copy splattered about. Who needs a table of contents when the cover reveals practically everything in the mag?Thankfully these days have passed.
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seriously though, that dinosaur cover is not for Game Informer...its for Zoobooks. ROFL
These covers are terrible.
The one with Andy was my favorite. I think I figured out why the Warriors one is bad but I'm not sure. It involves the guy at the front I think, if I'm right that's hilarious, if not I'm disgusted with me. Am I on the right track here?
You and I have different tastes in Tekken characters apparently, because Yoshimitsu's one of my favorites :-P
I don't get that Warriors one
I agree these covers suck ba**s
Andys got mad ups yo.
Hmmmmmmmm... Maybe it has something to do with the fact that it is FOUR SHIRTLESS DUDES IN PLEATHER SLEEVELESS JACKETS?????????!?
For those of you who have yet to figure out the Warriors cover, the guy directly in front has a gigantic penis on his chest... Yeah. Epic.
You can say that on this site? Always assumed it'd be filtered out.
Srry bout the double post I have no idea why that happended.
Boom! Shakalakalaka!I love that so much. These covers are really bad, I think that's why Garnett is so angry.
Treasures of the Deep kicked ass!
A started laughing so hard at the Kevin Garnett cover, i started crying. That little blurb was better than most stand up comedians XD
The first two covers is the worst. I got all the rest except those two and the one with Andy on the cover.
Wow! The you were lucky that the dinosaur cover didn't hurt your magazine sales. If I saw that when It was released, I'd throw up. lol
So hilarious. Boom shakalaka! Despite the lame cover, Super Adventure Island was still a fun game though.