The lights are on
This Dan guy sure thinks a lot of himself. As far as I can tell, Dan's hobbies include the following: 1: Telling stories about his father. 2: Reminiscing about old pro-wrestling matches. 3: Trying to casually slip references about the state of Kansas into completely irrelevant conversations. A few back, I was walking around the office when I heard Dan's distinctive voice babbling on about Gearbox's Randy Pitchford. I lingered around, hoping to hear how Dan thought Mr. Pichford resembled Irwin R. Schyster, when things suddenly got personal.
"Randy and I were talking about Gamerscores and how he and Reiner used to have a rivalry going on but then Randy stopped playing to actually ship a game and then he lost any chance of catching up to Reiner again and Randy Pitchford is amazing and he's my new best friend and I want to go on a vacation to Kansas with him someday." I'm paraphrasing a little, but that's a fairly close approximation of what Dan was gushing. Dan then stated that he and Randy were going to compete for the highest Gamerscore because dreams really do come true in America. If that wasn't enough, though, he made a couple of jabs at his co-workers. "I'll catch up to you early next year," he told Reiner, before turning to me and saying, "I'll beat you before the end of the year."
Oh no he di'nt.
I'll be the first to admit that I'm a bit of an Achievement ***. Like countless others, I've fallen prey to Microsoft's reward system even though I am fully aware of how completely dumb and ridiculous the entire concept is. I have played games I didn't like very much just to get a few more points added to a tally that nobody ultimately cares about. Well, nobody other than me. When I look at my list of Achievements, it tells a story. Those two long gaps mark when my sons were born. Here's when I downloaded Yaris. Did it really take me two years to beat Assassin's Creed?! Ultimately, it's a story of how I continuously ignored my familial obligations to sit alone in a darkened room and move my thumbs around to make little make-believe guys do stuff on a TV.
So you can see why I took Dan's nonsense so personally. For a while, I thought he just might do it. That strengthened my resolve further. I'd walk by his desk and see obvious score fodder stacked high. Brave -- Warrior's Tale. A bunch of Sonic games. MLB 2K6. "Bah," I scoffed, popping in Night at the Museum 2. "At least I have my dignity."
Here's how it ended:
When I mentioned the contest to Dan this morning, he acted as though he'd forgotten all about it in the first place. "Oh, that!" I didn't buy it for a second. I know that he was racing to get home from work every night, skipping meals and showers just to maximizing his gaming time. "Oh that!"?! He played a bunch of Sonic games, for crying out loud. He wasn't doing that for fun, was he? If there wasn't an ulterior motive, I fear for us all.
P.S. I WON I WON I WON I WON I WON.
Email the author Jeff Cork, or follow on Twitter, Google+, Facebook, and Game Informer.
Ah, Gamerscore. The madness you can cause...
Congrats on winning. By the way, are any of you Eds on the GIO MGC leaderboard?
I'm guessing Dan's next blog post will be about how his dad has a higher gamerscore than Jeff's dad.
Nice jabs against Sonic games. Wait until that Hedghehog passes away, everyone will go all MJ on him. Just wait.
Disregarding the rest of the numerous factual errors in this account, I would like to clarify that my initial challenges were quickly revised. I abandoned my quest to beat Reiner, because there's only so many Night at the Museums and TMNT's a person can play before they lose their mind.
I settled on simply topping your Gamerscore, but forgot that I mentioned I'd do it by 2010. Now that I remember this original challenge (sorry, I totally forgot about it since I've been spending all my time catching touchdowns, organizing charity dinners, and kissing ladies), I'll put an actual date down so I know for sure what to shoot for. I plan on topping your score by July 4th of this year.
Also, I noticed a little trend while going through "Compare Games"...it seems that you have 10,280 points from games based on children's movies and 2,500 from Lego games. I understand that you have two small children, and it's conceivable that you have them achievement farming for you. Tim tells me that he thinks they're both under the age of 3, but I won't put it out of the question.
Also...you have Ninja Turtle gloves. http://yfrog.com/jagloveslj
I have it on good authority that Dan played Scene It! Box Office Smash all by himself. That is some sad stuff.
Also...if I'm gonna be bashed about being an achievement ***, let's make sure the depths of my problem are addressed. You referred to Sonic's Ultimate Collection as a "bunch of Sonic games." Let's be fair...I played through those games for the achievements, then I bought all the Sonic games AGAIN on XBLA so I could get even more from those games. That's how bad it's gotten.
I'm an achievement hoar aswell, I don't know why but I enjoy getting those achievements, and it brings a great sense of satisfaction when my gamerscore is higher than many others. But then, I also get reminded I have no life. Haha. Actually I'm aiming for 40,000 by the end of this year. We'll see.
Man, I don't think anyone ever foresaw a gimmicky concept like gamerscore taking off the way it has. I still don't get it. Get that pop up off my screen and let me play the game the way I want to in peace...
Achievement unlocked - Staff Rivalry (125G)
Have an argument over who won an achievement contest
I love Jeff's initial blog post, but I'm even more entertained by Dan's pathetic backpedaling.
I wonder what the new date for topping Jeff's gamerscore will be when Dan "forgets" about this declaration again.
Ouch! Just what in the world did Dan do to earn this abuse? Don't worry Dan just run away. That'll learn 'em.
Kansas? Seriously? Have you BEEN to Kansas? It's the ONLY state where I saw a dozen dudes square dancing, no women present. Need I say more?
0_0 I only almost have 10000, and I thought my gamerscore was fairly big. Of course more than 1/5 of my gamerscore is from Fable II and Fallout 3. Not sure what that says, but I feel like it says something.
You may have seen Dan/Dan's dad there.
Epic battle filled with...Sonic moments.
Hmm...nice little battle!
yeah put that under G4's real life acheivements
gamerscore duel (125)
lame excuse for losing (45)
vow revenge (55)
etc. lol
lol
NICE!