The lights are on
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I've never been a big reader of fiction, but I decided to start giving it more of a shot recently. While trying to decide where to start, I heard a ton of hype around the office regarding Game of Thrones. I was hesitant considering my general dislike of the fantasy genre (couldn't even finish the first Lord of the Rings book), but the fact that HBO picked it up for a series eased my concerns. Some of my favorite shows ever aired on HBO, so I have faith in their ability to pick good source material.
Problem is, most of the fiction reading I've done in the past (Fight Club, A Clockwork Orange, Jurassic Park, etc) occurred after I had already seen the film version. I never got to picture new characters in my head, because I already had their actor counterparts filling that role. With little to no practice doing this, I had to visualize my own actors while reading Game of Thrones. As you can see below, many of my choices were a little questionable. Keep in mind that I'm not claiming this to be a good cast. I don't recommend these picks, they're just the ones that popped into my head when I read their descriptions.
Robert Baratheon is played by Jake "the Snake" Roberts
Martin describes Robert as a once-mighty warrior who became an overindulgent eater and frequent drunk as he advanced in life. What better choice than the once-talented Jake Roberts, who would turn into a severe drug addict and fat guy as he grew older?
Tyrion Lannister is played by Hornswoggle
Look, there are only a few options that come to my mind when I think of midget entertainers. You've got Verne Troyer, Peter Dinklage, and WWE's Hornswoggle. I didn't know Dinklage was actually cast as Tyrion when I started reading, but I'm familiar with his work and I think he's great. Even knowing that, my dumb brain went straight to WWE's rascally leprechaun.
Jamie Lannister is played by Mark Pellegrino
One of my few picks that might not be completely laughable. This dude played Jacob on Lost, Rita's sleazy ex-husband on Dexter, and one of the dudes responsible for the rug-peeing incident in The Big Lebowski.
Cersei Lannister is played by (name omitted)
My pick for Cersei is an "actress" known for working in films for people over the age of 18. That's why you don't see a picture or a name on this entry.
Khal Drogo is played by The Great Khali
The fierce Dothraki leader is described as a massive warrior, so I went right to WWE's tallest superstar. Plus, Khali is really close to Khal, so I didn't have to think too hard when his name popped up.
Daenerys Targaryen is played by That Chick From The New Transformers Movie
I don't know anything about this girl. The only reason I know she exists is because I heard Miller say that Megan Fox was getting replaced in the new Transformers movie. I ran to Google Image Search to make sure she was hot, and it turns out she's pretty hot. Then I read about Daenerys being skinny and blonde, resulting in my pick.
Viserys Targaryen is played by Jason Schwartzman
Another of the few not-totally-insane picks. No real reason here, I just thought Schwartzman could pull the character off if he had blond hair.
Ser Rodrik is played by The Bearded Other From Lost
I know he eventually lost the beard and got a real name in Lost, but that picture above is all I saw after Martin described Rodrik as having long grey whiskers.
Renly Baratheon is played by Ravishing Rick Rude
If I'm gonna have a wrestler portray Robert, I've gotta have a fellow wrestler from the same era play his brother.
Tywin Lannister is played by Pete Postlethwaite
I actually think this would be a pretty awesome pick if Pete hadn't died this year.
"The Spider" Varys is played by Frank DeCaro
The only reason you'd know this dude is if you used to watch him review movies on The Daily Show about ten years ago. For some reason, he's the first guy to pop into my mind when Martin described Varys as fat and bald.
Walder Frey is played by Don Rickles
Frey is described as an old bald guy, and he talks a lot. Rickles fits this criteria, and more Don Rickles is never a bad thing.
Gregor Clegane aka "The Mountain That Rides" is played by The Big Show
Every Maester, Septon, Or Old Dude With A Beard is played by The Dude From The Cover Of The Giver
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