The lights are on
It's been a fairly light month for reviews. After the blitzkrieg of Mass Effect 2, Bioshock 2, Heavy Rain, Bad Company 2, God of War III, and more, it's pretty slim pickings around here right now. That's why I reviewed Dead Or Alive: Paradise this month. If you haven't read my review, I can sum up the game by saying that you creepily take pictures of near-naked digitized women on a beach. That's about it. They lather themselves up in lotion, share ice cream cones, and generally prance around with unearthly (and unnerving) boob physics. It's a bad game.
Since the "gameplay" amounts to little more than snapping pictures, I was hoping something even remotely interesting would happen. Even Pokemon Snap had the occasional moment of excitement, so why not here? Unfortunately, my girl Tina did little more than giggle and whine about being too hungry. These didn't turn out to be the most exciting shots (see above), so I decided to whip out the Photoshop and manufacture my ideal Dead Or Alive: Paradise shots:
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Ha wow. Those are some of the funniest and most creative pictures I've seen. I can tell you really hated that "game".
Did you hate this game more than Reiner hated Rogue Warrior and Raven Squad.
I love the wonders of photoshop...
Very funny. My favorite one is the Jurassic Park.
That last one will haunt my dreams for quite some time. Thanks for that :P
Can you do more of these?it would be cool if you did these about all the worst games.by the way I loved the shark.
@Anthony
Reiner is insane. Rogue Warrior is awesome.
@Dan
I take it, you're a fan of Rogue Warrior?
The screenshots are hilarious (second interpretation of MK's "Babe-alities"). Although haven't the physics always made the women that... bouncy? I mean, it's only since the first Xtreme that Team Ninja started clothing them in, well, nothing.
The Scorpion fatality one is awesome.
I love the American Psycho pic.
love the last one!
Hilarious!
Maybe you should start making funny 'shopped pictures involving gaming's worst characters. I know I can't be the only one who wants to see that loser from Drake of the 99 Dragons being eaten by sharks, or worse: zombies.
"You have herpes"
HAHAHAHAHAHA
I bet that if you actually beat the game it says:
"CONGRATULATIONS!! You are now a sexual predator!!"
Or something along the lines of what guitar hero says when you get a million points in South Park.
Lol. Much better than the actual screen's ive seen. Good job Dan.
Nicely done.
Side note...if they're gonna emphasize the gameplay less and less and the ogling of digital boobies more and more, why are they moving to substantially less-powered platforms? Surely the pervos out there would prefer their jubblies in true HD.
Wow Dan these are hilarious. Great job. But the Mortal Kombat finisher where she is suppose to be up in flames is hilarious because the bikini is really different in size compared to the rest of the body.
Anyway well done. And I might try Rouge Warrior when I have money to get it to see how bad/awesome it really is.
That doctor seems quite proud of his diagnosis...
I hear what you're saying...blah, blah, blah, bad game...But, is it an easy 1000 points for my GS? If so, it will end up on my Gamefly list. Ah, Gamefly, you make sure terrible games are played w/o regret. :)
TJ, it's for PSP.