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Things In My Mom's House That I Don't Understand
I'm back in Kansas City for a couple weeks to spend some time with my
family and celebrate the holidays. As such, I'm spending a lot of my
time at my mom's house for the first time since high school. Most of my
time has been spent playing video games with my sisters, but they're
over at their dad's place tonight so I've had a chance to take a look
around the house I spent most of my formative years in.
Now, I know my mom's always been into weird decorating and furniture
that I don't understand at all, but apparently some sort of crazy
crafty switch went off after I left for college. Considering that I don't
ever plan on living in a place with anything fancier than white walls
and a couch for playing video games on, I might as well be visiting
Jupiter when I walk into this house. Here are a few of the items that
especially confounded me.
1. Chandelier made out of what appears to be saltine crackers
2. Jewel-encrusted indoor birdbath
3. Suspended candle in some kind of weird bondage cage
4. Weird stick bundle things EVERYWHERE
5. Snuggie For Dogs. Also, the fact that our dog seems to actually like it
6. This laptop cover
7. Whatever the hell this thing is
8. Everything that's happening in this picture (weird bead things in the doorway, arbitrary hubcap, ceramic head of LeBron James, etc)
9. This crap
10. The least practical mirrors ever
11. Framed photo of a squirrel
12. Bowl of what appears to be crabapples (next to another weird bundle thingy)
13. Unnervingly colorful bathroom
14. Bronze fish carrying bowl of disco balls
I could probably add 50 more, but my head is hurting too much from trying to figure out why she owns all this crap. Luckily, I brought home some things that I definitely do understand:
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