The lights are on
I'm back in Kansas City for a couple weeks to spend some time with my family and celebrate the holidays. As such, I'm spending a lot of my time at my mom's house for the first time since high school. Most of my time has been spent playing video games with my sisters, but they're over at their dad's place tonight so I've had a chance to take a look around the house I spent most of my formative years in. Now, I know my mom's always been into weird decorating and furniture that I don't understand at all, but apparently some sort of crazy crafty switch went off after I left for college. Considering that I don't ever plan on living in a place with anything fancier than white walls and a couch for playing video games on, I might as well be visiting Jupiter when I walk into this house. Here are a few of the items that especially confounded me. 1. Chandelier made out of what appears to be saltine crackers
2. Jewel-encrusted indoor birdbath
3. Suspended candle in some kind of weird bondage cage
4. Weird stick bundle things EVERYWHERE
5. Snuggie For Dogs. Also, the fact that our dog seems to actually like it
6. This laptop cover
7. Whatever the hell this thing is
8. Everything that's happening in this picture (weird bead things in the doorway, arbitrary hubcap, ceramic head of LeBron James, etc)
9. This crap
10. The least practical mirrors ever
11. Framed photo of a squirrel
12. Bowl of what appears to be crabapples (next to another weird bundle thingy)
13. Unnervingly colorful bathroom
14. Bronze fish carrying bowl of disco balls
I could probably add 50 more, but my head is hurting too much from trying to figure out why she owns all this crap. Luckily, I brought home some things that I definitely do understand:
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CLASSIC! I'm sick and it hurts to laugh. I had to take a break halfway through this read just to make sure I didn't die.
Looks like a kiwi to me.
theory: picture #9 is actually dan's room
Dude, that I'll so take that squirrel. No, I'm not some weird guy that WANTS a squirrel in a frame, but i have a buddy, who HATES squirrels, and I could put that up to his peep hole on his apt door and then just knock... god that would rock. Of course, then he'd just come to my door dressed as a clown, and then well... there'd be blood.
Still... I do want the squirrel pic.
Also... no one yelled at you for leaving the toilet seat up?
half of this looks like my friends house.......
Dan! Do not leave that 360 on the carpet while using it! That will red-ring so fast it will make your head spin!
Oh, also, WTF.
I think it's a mom thing. I'm convinced that after my brothers and I go off to college, my mom's going to do some weird stuff in our rooms and around the house in general. Dog Snuggie FTW!
Man, Kansas is weird
wow your mom is so weird
I'd like for you to steal the framed photo of the squirrel from your mom and bring it back to the office so I can keep it on my desk. Thanks in advance.
Good news Dan, if you ever need to get a girl to leave you alone, all you need to do is take her home to meet mom and she will run away screaming from that crazy house!
Wow, your moms house does looks like Jupiter. I don't know if my grandmas house even looks that interesting. Why does she have that poster of Zac Efron!?
Wow, that's reeeeealy funny...but number 7 i think i can identify as a bird bending over...
eh, but if you think about that, it doesn't sound right either.
Your mom certainly has a strange taste in style and decorative things...
And that squirell photo?
...no comment.
Thank you for making my moms house look normal.
lol
Strange person....
everyone in room 9 is gay
i enjoy the AC2 package...but not the gay man posters
wait. Whose room is that anyways? I mean, looking at Zac Efron stuffing his hand up his shirt is kinda...disturbing. lol :D
Does the saltine chandelier happen to be over the jewel-encrusted birdbath? Because maybe you could just fill that thing up with soup, reach up for some crackers, and have a meal right then and there.