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Texts From My Father As He Plays Resident Evil 4

by Dan Ryckert on Oct 22, 2009 at 10:25 AM

My dad (who some of you might remember from this) is not exactly a hardcore gamer. As a kid, I managed to get him into a few SNES titles, namely Super Mario Kart, Ken Griffey Jr's MLB, and Link to the Past. Once I grew up and left the house, he completely stayed away from gaming. However, like so many casual or non-gamers, he was fascinated by the Wii and bought one a couple of years ago. Considering he had shown interest in quality titles in the past, I thought I'd take a shot in the dark and get him Resident Evil 4 for his birthday and see what he thought of it. Despite being completely separated from the gaming world for almost a decade, he somehow got addicted to it. Here are the (safe for work) texts I've received from him so far regarding his experience:

"I swear these zombies are yelling something about Diet Pepsi to me"

"I think the guy that sells me things is Ben Stiller"

"I'm finding that zombies don't respond to reason"

"What the hell are these circle color thingies?"

"I don't think that El Gigante got enough hugs as a baby mutant"

"I can either get killed by a million crazy people with chainsaws, or one giant crazy monster that throws rocks"

"I just beat tall, fiery, skeleton-y guy"

"I swear the fire-throwing monks are saying 'Naughty S.U.V.' when they approach me"

"So apparently it's a bad idea to release a giant mutant guy with claws for hands from his prison cell"

"Being Ashley sucks"

"Do all games portray women as helpless?"

"Wolves shouldn't have tentacles"